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B5 Rewatch: 2×05 "The Long Dark"

After the second season of B5, Joe Straczynski took over the writing on nearly every episode thereafter. This particular ep is an example of why: a tale which should add to the growing sense of menace and doom overhanging the galaxy, and instead comes across as sophisticated as your average "Star Trek" TOS installment, a monster of the week tracked down with next to zilcho characterization.

In the A-Plot, a derelict human exploration ship from over a century ago (http://goo.gl/tvgMnV) intercepts B5 (traveling at sublight, it seems). When brought aboard, it turns out to be a sleeper ship with one woman alive and one man dead (that latter, mysteriously, consumed from within). What nobody seems to realize (except in ways that they really shouldn't) is that Something Was Aboard and Is Now on B5. Eek.

In the tightly related B-Plot, Lurker lunatic Amis (http://goo.gl/6qqGbN) is now suddenly preaching that some Horrible Evil is now aboard the station. After being locked up for disturbing the peace, he draws the attention of Garibaldi, who recognizes him as a fellow veteran from the Earth-Minbari War, but one who coped less well than Garibaldi the Screw-Up and Alcoholic. Giving Amis the benefit of the doubt, Garibaldi works with him to track down the Soldier of Darkness who's now on the ship, being occasionally menacing.

In the also tightly related C-Plot, Dr. Franklin has the hots for the woman who was aboard the ship (http://goo.gl/FIADlR), for reasons that seem simply plot-need-driven, not at all logical.

In fact, a ton of things in this episode make no sense except in a hand-waving fashion. A long-derelict ship (which spins at wildly different speeds in different shots), showing a sensor reading of a human onboard, is simply brought into B5 and entered by the human stars of the series with no concern about what's going on or what might be released (e.g., a disease if not a demon).  A single killing by the Ancient Menace is enough to get the League of Non-Aligned Worlds in a tizzy. Battle scene tactics and blocking, star travel distances, command strategies, and personal discussions between regular characters are all just a few points askew of plumb. And the music seems to be just one pipe organ short of being a Saturday Afternoon Serial in its menacing minor chords.

Meanwhile, Garibaldi is revealed to have PTSD (in what feels like a completely contrived way, though Jerry Doyle has a few good moments). Sheridan is bombasting various orders rather than working with his people to determine what's going on.  Ivanova is reduced to posting worrisome bulletins. Londo is mocking. G'Kar is concerned. Franklin is hitting on a woman who is not only a possible threat to the station, and who not only just (subjectively) lost her husband yesterday, but who is his patient.  

And Kosh is completely absent from a fray that should very much have attracted his attention.

It's all weird, short-circuited character mis-development that feels like it came from someone who didn't read the series bible and didn't have their script vetted for truly contrived and corny dialog.

There are also some very dubious SFX here, most particularly in the Soldier of Darkness (http://goo.gl/i1TMQm; http://youtu.be/hgG5IN0vUAI?t=11m42s) who seems a shaky mix between Chernabog and and the Krell "Creature from the Id" — even Joe Straczynski admits the concept outran their budget. In a strong episde, you could overlook it. In this tepid mess, it's a further disaster at the action climax of the episode.

Overall there's a ton of arc stuff here, just none of it very useful or well-presented. Apparently every race except the Humans (and maybe the Centauri) have a memory of a great war a thousand years ago, and a fear of the Dark Soldiers who were fought against — one of whom is, of course, the Awful Demon Aboard. And, of course, the Soldier of Darkness had changed the course of the sleeper ship to head toward (bum-bum-BUUUUMMMM) everyone's favorite something's-stirring planet out on the Rim, Z'ha'dum, which coincidentally brought it (apparently powerless now) past B5 at a rate that would arrive in Z'ha'dum in about, oh, another thousand years.

Ugh.

There's a solitary bright element to this episode, and it's the delightful, scenery-chewing job that Dwight Schultz does as the mad Lurker, Amis (http://goo.gl/x4D9OR) — a "Howling Mad Murdoch" who's truly been driven mad by the horrors he's seen, and that he now again has to face. The video below is an extract of all his footage from this ep; they're the best parts of of the whole thing.

In short, it's not an awful episode, but the script (by Scott Frost) is so dreadfully mediocre, rushed, and character-free, it's little surprise that JMS eventually took over the writing responsibilities full-time. Not that Joe always hit a home run, but this one barely limps to first base. For all that it waves the arc around, nothing really significantly new is advanced about it (shadows bad, great war long ago, Z'ha'dum), while in the meantime all the characters on board are turned into finger puppets to fill in the plot line in the most hackneyed fashion imaginable.

If this episode vanished entirely from the universe, the series would be undiminished. That's never a good recommendation.

Most Dramatic Moment: Amis tells the tale of his listening post's massacre to Garibaldi (http://youtu.be/hgG5IN0vUAI?t=7m45s).
Most Amusing Moment: There's really not a lot of humor going on here. Maybe Londo mocking G'Kar for having attracted Amos, who in turn is attracted by Londo before Garibaldi peels him away (http://youtu.be/hgG5IN0vUAI?t=1m26s).
Most Arc-ish Moment: G'Kar finds a certain picture (http://goo.gl/j9rqf4) in his Book of G'Quon that presumably is meant to resemble the demon that they just defeated (but, sadly, doesn't). 

Overall Rating:  2.2 / 5 (and at least 0.5 of that is due to Shultz's Amis) 

Lurker’s Guide: http://www.midwinter.com/lurk/countries/us/guide/027.html
Babylon Project: http://babylon5.wikia.com/wiki/The_Long_Dark
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0517707/
AV Club: http://goo.gl/I0SqVV (article is mistitled; also includes the next ep)
Noise2Signal: http://noise2sig.nl/2011/11/13/babylon-5-the-long-dark/

#babylon5 #b5

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