SMART GUY 1: The thing that the modern-day pundits fail to realize is that all the socioeconomic and psychological problems inherent in modern society can be solved by the judicious application of way too much beer.
BUFFY: My mother always said beer is evil.
SMART GUY 1: Evil, good — these are moral absolutes that predate the fermentation of malt and fine hops.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Beer Bad”
Monday night was, as I noted earlier this morning, the special Magic Kingdom Guest Night for Gartner attendees. At 7:45 p.m. we all boarded busses and rode off to the Magic Kingdom, like herds of elephants crossing the veldt, converging on the watering hole.
Now, the entire park wasn’t open. But all the E-ticket rides were (for those who recall what an E-ticket ride was). And the crowds were minimal, so you could ride eides as fast as you could walk to them and through the queue guides. Plus live entertainment here and there. The local equivalent of the Electrial Parade. A number of restaurants were open, and there were also buffet tables all over the place. Oh, and ice cream carts. Oh, and beer and wine carts.
In other words, the perfect, decadent Disney experience. We had much fun, even though the 3-4 hours we had were not nearly enough.
Having grown up in Southern California, Disneyland’s Magic Kingdom is the “One, True Magic Kingdom of which all others are but Shadow.” Being well familiar with the Anaheim park, visiting WDW’s Magic Kingdom is like visiting some strange parallel world. The biggest difference is just that — bigness. Anaheim real estate, even in 1960 or so, was still valuable (and Disney was working on a relative shoestring). Florida real estate was — well, anyone interested in buying some swampland? So in the space that you can fit the entire park in Anaheim, WDW fits Fantasy Land alone. There are gaps between the lands, gaps between the rides, a ton of landscaping (with the prospects of fill-in expansion).
Plus oddities like “Liberty Square.” Lesser versions of “The Haunted Mansion” and “Pirates of the Caribbean” and “It’s a Small World.” Alternative but analogous versions of “Space Mountain” and “Big Thunder Mountain.” An arguably superior version of “Splash Mountain.”
Other things here and not in Anaheim:
- Buzz Lightyear – Mr. Toad meets Laser Tag. More geeky fun than you can imagine, especially on a Guest Night for Geeks.
- Aladdin’s Magic Carpets – Dumbo redux.
- Winnie the Pooh – Decently charming kiddie ride, making up for the ones (Mr. Toad, Cinderella, etc.) the park lacks.
- The ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter – Disney does a real haunted house. About as scary as you’d want from Disney, and impeccably done misdirection and suggestion to make a hair-pricklingly fine adventure.
Of course, they don’t have a “Matterhorn” here. Or an “Indiana Jones.” YMMV.