An amusing article on SlashDot, reprinted from the Imperial times on Coruscant:
CORUSCANT — Presiding over a memorial service commemorating the victims of the attack on the Death Star, the Emperor declared that while recent victories over the Rebel Alliance were “encouraging, the War on Terror is not over yet.”
“We will continue to fight these terrorists, and the rogue governments who harbor them, until the universe is safe, once and for all, and the security of the Neo-New Cosmik Order ensured.”
“I lost hundreds of buddies that day,” said one teary-eyed Stormtrooper. “Guys whose only crime was trying make the Universe a safer place.”
Although the day was colored by sadness, the mourners found some relief in the news of a decisive victory over the Rebels.
In an attack led by Darth Vader, Empire forces were able to rout hundreds of Rebels from a network of caves underneath the surface of the planet Hoth. “We’re not sure we got them all,” says a Vader spokesman. “There are a lot of places to hide in those caves. But we’ve delivered powerful blow to the terrorist’s infrastructure, that’s for sure. Today, the Empire has struck back.”
(Via Trance Gemini)