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This will make me sleep better tonight

In a nation ravaged by crime and trying to crack down on potential terrorist attacks, our fearless attorney general is out there making the biggest crooks of all a “top…

In a nation ravaged by crime and trying to crack down on potential terrorist attacks, our fearless attorney general is out there making the biggest crooks of all a “top priority.”

On Tuesday, the attorney general released a report from the Department of Justice’s Intellectual Property Task Force that outlines plans to beef up enforcement of copyright violations. “With the recommendations put forward by the task force, the department is prepared to build the strongest, most aggressive legal assault against intellectual property crime in our nation’s history,” Ashcroft said in a statement.

Those recommendations include increasing the number of FBI agents to sniff out copyright violators, better training programs for prosecutors and law enforcement officers who investigate such offenses, and increasing cooperation between businesses and individuals affected by such theft.

The report (.pdf) — which covers copyrights, trade secrets, trademarks and patents — also says that those who benefit most from this theft “are criminals, and alarmingly, criminal organizations with possible ties to terrorism.”

Ah — well, if the terrorists are involved, I guess that makes it even more important!

The task force also lends its support to several pieces of copyright legislation. The Justice Department supports the Induce Act (SB2560), which would hold businesses liable for encouraging people to infringe copyright. It also supports the Piracy Deterrance and Education Act (HR4077), which would amend copyright law “to clarify that it may be a violation merely to offer copyright works in a digital format for others to copy,” according to the report. The task force also endorsed the ART Act (SB1932), which makes it a felony to use a video recording device in a movie theater.

A felony! Damn those felonious movie pirates! Go get ’em, John!

I swear — he’s almost enough to warrant voting for Kerry all by his lonesome.

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