Now that all of the real problems in Texas have been solved …

… the pols can move on to devoting time and money to fixing the, um, less dire difficulties in the state. Such as the Scourge of Overtly Sexual Cheerleading.

Despite the fine example of those be-wimpled exemplars of propriety, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, some high school cheerleaders seem to think that the point of bouncing around at sports events whilst scantily clad is to shake their booty in a suggestive fashion. Thus, lawmakers have ridden to the rescue to stop it, stop it at once!

[T]he state House on Tuesday approved a bill to restrict “overtly sexually suggestive” cheerleading to more ladylike performances. The bill would give the state education commissioner authority to request that school districts review high school performances.

“Girls can get out and do all of these overly sexually performances and we applaud them, and that’s not right,” said Democratic Rep. Al Edwards, who filed the legislation.

So rather than teaching the audiences that applauding such performances is encouraging a not-right behavior, we’ll simply ban it. Because that will solve the problem.

Ah, but it’s more than just a matter of, ah, performance issues.

Edwards argued bawdy performances are a distraction for students resulting in pregnancies, dropouts and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

Cancer, scurvy, and uncouth lackadaisicality regarding use of spittoons, has also been noted.

Actually, it’s not clear what Edwards is arguing here. Who is getting “distracted”? How is that distraction leading to “pregnancies” (“Hey, honey, that cheerleading performance we watched was really hot. Let’s make out!”), dropouts (“I refuse to cheer only during games. I’m going drop out and become a full-time professional cheer leader!”), or spread of STDs (“Oops! Sorry, babe, I was watching that hot cheerleading routine and forgot to put a condom on”)?

Of course, defining what is “overly sexual” is going to take some doing.

Ribald performances are not defined in the bill. “Any adult that’s been involved with sex in their lives, they know it when they see it,” he said.

He went on to say that he’d be reviewing all video tapes of suspect performances personally, in his off hours, to make sure that they met his definition.

But, then, it’s not like there’s not a crying need for a law to be passed in this particular arena.

The American Civil Liberties Union said the measure was unnecessary because state law already prohibits public lewdness by students on or near a school campus.

Ah, but that was passed by someone else. I mean, jeez, get serious.

(via BoingBoing)