As far as I can tell, KeepMarriageBiblical is a legitimate site. Which makes this lady’s personality profile on the news page no clever satire, but, bogglingly, real ..
1. Do you believe in the Saving Power of the Blood of Jesus Christ? Yes
Okay, off to a good start.
2. How many years have you been saved? 13, but I say 12 years 12 months because 13 is a unlucky number
Hmmmm. Isn’t Numerology a kind of witchcraft? Oh, well, next month you should be okay.
3. What is your favorite thing about the KMB Flea Market Ministry? There are new experiences and challenges everyday!
KMB Flea Market Ministry appears to spend a lot of time defending God’s Definition of Marriage by passing out Bibles and Chick tracts at a local flea market.
4. If you could wish for anything, what would it be? For Jesus to come back and begin the assault on the unbelievers and the lukewarm churches
Be careful what you wish for …
5. Pepsi or Coke? Neither, because Coke is owned by the Mormon Church and Pepsi has the Ying and Yang symbol on it and Deut. 7:26 says I am not allowed to bring it into my house
Um … no, Coke isn’t owned by the Mormon Church. And the Pepsi logo has a broad white stripe in the middle of it (which once carried text), which doesn’t seem to make more than a passing resemblance to the yin-yang symbol.
6. What is your favorite color? Dark purple
Isn’t that a papist color?
7. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Pistachio
And that’s just wrong.
8. What is your sign? Capricorn, just like Jesus
Astrology? You’re quoting astrology?! You’re identifying yourself and Jesus with an astrological sign? Gads.
9. If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be? Donald Trump (without the eyebrows & hairdo)
What a great role model. What a truly Christian man to aspire to be, even for a day. Unless the idea would be to divest all your wealth to give to the poor. That would be cool.
10. What are your hobbies? Bowhunting, gun-smithing, welding, wood working, & a one year old son!
I’m not sure I’d list my daughter as a hobby, but maybe it’s just cute.
It’s probably unkind to poke fun at someone’s beliefs (certainly some of my own are probably liable to poking at). I just find some of the incongruities above to be … interestingly incongruous.
(via J-Walk)
“papist.” ::snicker::
Thanks for the mental image of a completely hairless Donald Trump, which is an unfortunate side effect of reading this poor lady’s profile.
P.S. We’re not lukewarm, we’re just right.
Amen, sister.
(I actually have a number of purple shirts; on at least one occasion, upon wearing one to church, someone asked if I was trying to pass myself off as a bishop …)
Bwah! Wear a big ring and make a beeline for the dessert table after the service, and the resemblance is unmistakable!
Actually, I have a great deal of respect for our bishop, Rob O’Neill (and do not in the least envy him his job, especially in these times). I got to meet him on a couple of occasions during his election process, and he’s a very nice, thoughtful guy.
That said … ha!