A good article on the attempt on the Right to argue that the SPLC's designation of the FRC as a "hate group" is not only wrong, but irresponsible. An argument that ignores that (a) the FRC spout far more vile accusations and opinions and calumnies about gays than the relatively mild designation of "hate group", and (b) other folks designated as "hate groups" by the SPLC don't seem to have been physically attacked (vs. the sadly not-uncommon physical attacks, assaults, and murders of gays).
Also included is a CNN interview with Brian Brown from NOM, where the interviewer actually takes him to task on the above to which he can only sputter that it's "totally unacceptable" that the FRC is being lumped in with "violent hate groups."
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Family Research Council is Attacked—Tony Perkins is Quick to Blame SPLC
The FRC prez argues that his org's designation as a hate group is what drove the shooter.
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Is shooting people who belong to/are employed by a hate group bad? Absolutely. It never, ever, ever should have happened.
Is pretending that a hate group isn't a hate group bad? Yes. Because, as you point out, their rhetoric has contributed to hate crimes just as bad and worse.
I've yet to hear anyone suggest that the shooting was justified or proper or right. And I've heard a lot of FRC opponents (including the SPLC) flat-out condemn such actions.
But, yes, using that to try to suppress, not just truly inflammatory rhetoric but criticism, is not justified or proper or right. But it's frankly in keeping with the related idea that criticizing someone's religious beliefs — or the actions they take take in society in pursuit of those beliefs — is somehow oppressing religious freedom.