Heh.
Originally shared by +Boing Boing:
Which one are you?
Shopping Cart Alignment Chart
Shopping Cart Alignment Chart
1,126 view(s)
Shopping Cart Alignment Chart
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Lawful good. Always. 😳
NG-CG most often, occasionally LG or CN.
Lawful good or neutral good. To be fair, everyone here returns carts: we want our euro back!
I'm told that I'm chaotic cowboy, for pushing the cart and then riding it into the corral.
There is always something satisfying about the CN when you can get it into the corral from 50' plus away from it with a good shove.
Heh, I did a "Lawful Neutral" by returning a 1/2 trolley from COLES (two supermarkets away) to ALDI!
Where is "have your passenger tow the cart behind your motorcycle at speed and then launch it into a creek." Chaotic chaotic, maybe, kind of like bison bison?
Um, asking for a friend…who is currently deceased. Coincidentally.
Also, special rules for people who refer to a shopping cart as a 'buggy', 'basket', or <shudder> 'trolley'?
Um, Brits call carts trolleys +Michael Verona on a scale of 0 – Brexit, how much should these special rules worry me?
+Vashti T – Yes, that's why we keep you on the other side of an ocean. For safety. Because you're monsters. Everyone knows that trolleys are a special kind of train that have only one car and inexplicably drive in the street. Despite America's voluminous buying and eating habits, I'm not pushing one of those around a store. Plus the stores don't have tracks.
On a scale of 0 to Brexit, I'd put your risk category between 11 and Tom Cruise.
+Michael Verona but where do trams go? Thinking on it, tracks in stores sounds like an excellent idea, but only if there's a fast track as well as the slow. Or just a fast track, and if people are too slow they have to go around again.
Wow, I was braced for what I thought was the worst but was not prepared for this. Is Tom Cruise sitting, standing or jumping on the couch?
+Vashti T – Trams are only for use on cable-suspended transportation systems, not to be confused with inclined railways that climb steep mountains and which are never, ever to be described by their technical name, funicular, because that sounds like some kind of surgical procedure. And remember the old rhyme, "A gram is better than a dram is better than a tram, because if you were serious about transportation you'd buy a car, you barbarian." – Sophocles, I'm pretty sure, or one of those other ancient godless commies from back in the '90s or something.
Shopping carts as track constrained vehicles would only make sense in a nation that puts swivel casters on all four corners. Sensible people with a sense of direction, self-control, and proper shopping carts see this clearly. Look what you've already done with fast tracks, slow tracks, switching systems, and relooping for examples why.
Honestly, this is why the British never made cars.
Regrettably, this is Tom Cruise jumping on the couch in full Scientology-video/hidden-wife mode. I'm so sorry.
+Michael Verona When I visited a friend in New Zealand, I discovered that trolleys are called "Trundler"s over there!
dailyoxford.wordpress.com – What’s a trundler?
+Michael Verona The hell they are, plenty trams in Melbourne and Adelaide! As the Wikipedia puts it, A tram (also tramcar; and in North America streetcar, trolley or trolley car) is a rail vehicle which runs on tracks along public urban streets, and also sometimes on a segregated right of way.
http://www.edinburghtraminquiry.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/trams-0034.jpg
But nonetheless, trolley is ambigious, depending on what you also call these:
http://images.esellerpro.com/2152/I/168/67/XS0179-beige-tartan-shopping-trolley_1_1000.jpg
+Laura Ess – Ah, yes, a common confusion: like a lot of American organizations, Wikipedia has trouble interpreting information that's written upside down and with an accent – as is the case with Australian. Thus, in this case, Wikipedia is definitively wrong.
As is that plaid luggage.
+Michael Verona Uh, no, their not, normally. If luggage is suitcases or other bags in which to pack personal belongings for travelling. then it'd depend what you put in it, and the main use is to carry shopping home. Or maybe it all depends then on what one calls "personal belongings". I suppose that food you've just bought becomes a personal belonging, until you eat it.
Contrawise this then also becomes luggage.
http://digital-photo.com.au/gallery3/var/albums/People/Street%20Photography/Imagine-no-possessions-IMG_3578.jpg?m=1335136014
But perhaps then is the use of a single word for description. If you use "supermaket trolley/cart" to describe those trundlers, the confusion disappears. Once again, the wkipedia comes to the answer, though this time favouring American English in its page title. But it lists these alternate names:
cart, or basket – The United States and Canada.
buggy – Used by some in Southeast Michigan, the Southern United States and parts of Canada
trolley – the United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Malaysia, South Africa and some regions of Canada.
carriage – Used by some in the New England region of the United States.
trundler – New Zealand.
barrae or coohudder – Some places in Scotland.
bascart – various regions.
wagon – New York, Hawaii.
Hooray for Scotland!
en.wikipedia.org – Shopping cart – Wikipedia
+Laura Ess – We could reasonably make the case that food remains a personal belonging after we eat it. At the very least, it's at that point that I'd be least likely to loan it out.
In the immortal words of a literal fascist pig, "four wheels good, two wheels bad." This is why the impromptu motorcycle stunt mentioned earlier was not a criminal act: at the time of commission, it had six wheels and was thus doubleplusgood – or at least oneandahalfplusgood.
Which plaid is not, by definition, but especially in that Caucasian-fleshtone-with-stripes.
The rest can fall to the wayside as fruit of the poison tree, and please take my word for it that we should not partake in the fruit of the poison tree, nor make tea of it's roots, nor smoke it's dried leaves. Because poison, and the ensuing hallucinations and/or principles of what I believe are common law; there's a lot of grey area between those last two.
Also, the properly four-wheeled shopping cart pictured has swivel casters on all four wheels and thus is both invalid and an abomination and a multi-track shopping train controlled by a complex system of switches and sidings, which is also invalid, as is the fact that I used "both" to refer to three things. Doubleplusungoodplusandahalf on rails, as it were.
I'll additionally dismiss every term of art that isn't "cart", but, as usual, I'll use many, many words to do it:
Cart: the best word, as agreed by everyone who agrees with it, but they're definitely worth listening to especially since they released their latest album that is a fresh, revisionist take on their own history. Plus it has a beat and you can dance to it, you know?
Buggy: Not a connotation I want associated with food. Full. Stop. I mean, there's the "bug" thing – eww. Then there's the implication that we use it to carry babies, but food, so we eat babies. Sure, it may be true, but we don't want to advertise it. Finally the whole dune thing, and we can tell by looking that a) those casters aren't going to work in sand, and b) once we're stuck in the sand the spice can't flow, pumpkin or otherwise. Full. Stop. But this time I mean it. Plus, southern Michigan? No way.
Trolley: covered earlier, and covered is a good characteristic of a trolley, and these aren't. Plus there's no place to pay a fare, no charming little bell, and Australia.
Carriage: see the previous baby thing – the paragraph, not the baby before the current baby. I'm not some birth-orderist lunatic.
Trundler: possibly one of Batman's vehicles, or something phonetically similar, plus we'd end up having to explain whether the trundler was a person trundling or a labor-saving device for trundling on behalf of a person who formerly trundled but is now all, "ooh, look at me, I have the latest shopping technology, I don't have to carry a bundle of sticks and pots on my back like some stick pot trundler" yada, yada. Nobody wants that in the middle of shopping, and the ice cream is melting – drip, drip, drip – and it just feels so hopeless and repetitious and it's the perfect soundtrack for the monotony of everyday sameness like grocery shopping and maybe we're just continuing for the sake of continuing, sort of drip, drip, dripping our way through life and it's all shopping cart essays and associating objects with actions in terminologies that should be simple, terse-mode statements of purpose and then moving on but we don't really, you know, we just have the same conversations about meaning and grocery transport and at some point we're onto paper versus plastic versus bring your own from home which still demands paper versus plastic but elides it in the hopes of seeming like we're doing the right thing but we're not really religious about it and honestly, I can't begin to tell you why I bought butter pecan because it's really not at all my favorite, not even top three, though I do like it sometimes, and now I'm wondering if maybe I bought it in the hopes that not liking it that much will translate into an external substitute for willpower since I'm less likely to eat the whole half-gallon carton, which is about two liters in New Zealand, in one sitting but I think we all know that I'm probably going to do that anyway and feel super guilty, but since it's melted I'm going to have to use a straw and then the pecans will keep getting stuck and that's going to ruin it, just ruin it, and does New Zealand really get a vote considering they nicknamed themselves after a fruit that's named for a bird that's named after a shoe polish. So "trundler" is right out.
Bascart: That's a portmanteau and thus a crime in 190 of the 193 member states of the United Nations, which is surprising since you'd think the United Nations would be made up of Nations that are United, but, no, they're states. See, this is why terminology is so important.
Wagon: not unless it's red, has a handle on the front, and says "Radio Flyer" on the side.
Scotland: OK, this is another confusing point that I'm happy to clarify – both barrrrrrraaaaeeeee and coohuuuuddeeeeerrrrr (the correct spellings, incidentally, although the vagaries of Scottish pronunciation allow varied numbers of repeated letters depending on how much time you have and whether you're from Scotland or Earth) are pronounced "cart", and this – this very thing – is why we don't let the Scots name things. Well, this and plaid.
Plus "cart" is the shortest and most direct, making it both the best and a word condition with which I am almost completely unfamiliar.
At this point I'm considering a nationality switch +Michael Verona Scottish might do but, well… my pronunciation might fail me. Especially when referring to your plaid as being tartan. I could do Dutch but then I'd lose all post Brexit rights.
I'm hiding behind the Tom Cruise-less couch, checking myself for alien cooties.
+Vashti T – Just remember that tartan is pronounced "plaid", and you'll be fine; thus your plaid is plaid, which is a very direct proof indeed. Sometimes they pronounce it "tear-tonne", but that's just to confuse the rubes.
Hiding behind the couch works better with Tom Cruise, because, let's be honest, he's a trainwreck of distraction, but make do as you can. And stay safe out there amongst the Brexiteers, which I suddenly realize sounds like a military unit specializing in cornflakes and milk, a glass of orange juice, and a side of bacon. Her Majesty's 13th Brexiteers, probably optimized in nutritionally balanced raids at dawn.
ha ha ha