Category: Love & Marriage

My wife is a wonderful person.

She is highly responsible. She is professional. She displays in her work a powerful commitment to customer service. She goes the extra mile. She is honest. She honors her commitments. She is interested in how people feel around her, both in her work life and in her home life. She is compassionate. She is competent. She is reasonable and rational and logical.

And though it may seem to belie that last sentence, she also expects others, especially in a professional, business relationship to be the same.

Which is a big reason why this whole U.S. Bank thing (see here and here) has so seriously upset her. And angered her.

Because the faceless drones at U.S. Bank have been utterly lacking in taking any responsibility. They have behaved unprofessionally. They have shown no commitment to customer service. They’ve not only not gone the extra mile, they’ve wandered off when her back’s been turned. They’ve been dishonest. They’ve not honored her commitments. They’ve shown little interest in how their customers feel. They’ve had only lip service to compassion. They’ve been incompetent. They (and their systems) have been unreasonable and irrational and illogical.

In other words, every aspect of Margie’s dealings with them over the past month and a half, in trying to figure out and resolve this stupid little $250 amount still showing up on an old, supposedly-paid-off-by-them second mortgage, has flown in the face of everything that Margie is, holds dear, and expects from others.

Rat bastards.

U.S. Bank’s motto is “Five Star Service Guaranteed.” Which sounds impressive until you realize that that’s on a scale of 1-20 stars.

At U.S. Bank, our Five Star Service Guarantee means that every teller, every loan officer, every manager and every employee is committed to responsive, respectful, prompt and helpful service. The Five Star Service Guarantee means putting your needs first and foremost. It means focusing on what you need to maximize your business or personal financial management. It’s our promise – to change forever what you expect from a financial institution. And it’s a promise WE GUARANTEE!

They lie.

Each of us at U.S. Bancorp takes responsibility for providing outstanding service to our customers, understanding our individual jobs, and performing our jobs at the highest level. In the end, it’s our individual personal commitment that helps deliver real results to our customers, company, shareholders and community.

They lie.

Margie has talked, repeatedly, to folks in Customer Service. In Loan Dispute. At the local branch. Each time she has been unable to get anyone to resolve the problem. Each time the problem will be looked into first thing in the morning, or referred to the Research Department. Each time she has gotten a firm commitment to be called back — tomorrow, within 48 hours, within 3-5 business days.

Nobody has called her back. Nobody.

Nobody has helped her. Nobody.

Of course, it doesn’t help that U.S. Bank’s corporate functions are spread across the US like dandelion seeds. “I can transfer you there, but they’ve all gone home by now.” “You’ll have to call them back, it’s too early there for any of the managers to be in.” “I don’t know anyone in that department. They’re in Wisconsin and we’re in Florida.”

She’s gotten apologies — from Level 1 phone folks who prefix everything with, “Well, I’m afraid I can’t help you with this, but …” She’s had supervisors refuse to get on the phone with her. She’s been transferred to the “department you need to talk to,” only to discover, after half an hour on hold, that it wasn’t. She’s had people tell her that it has to be handled at the branch, only to be told at the branch that it has to be handled by the folks in corporate.

She’s been jerked around to the point of tearful frustration and fury such that she doesn’t trust her voice on the phone. And for those of you who have met Margie, who know what a warm and calm and cheerful person she is, you cannot imagine what it takes to get her to that point.

Or how it makes me feel.

The one mercy in this debacle is that it will not interfere with our closing our new loan. The title company, at least, was able to get through the layers of customer disservice and arrange for a payment of the $200-odd (the number keeps changing).

But that’s no longer the point. Hell, if it were just that much, I told Margie, it’s not worth another minute of this.

Except that it is. Because now it’s the principle of the thing. It’s a matter of getting those rat bastards to back down, to admit their mistake, to fix it, and to apologize. For real.

In the meantime, let me take the opportunity to let the customer service maxim prevail that says that someone who get crappy service will let seven, or thirteen, or twenty people know about it. I get about 300-odd hits per day. That’s at least 250 people who will read this. Plus those who have read the other posts I’ve done on this problem. Plus those who come here in the future and see (I’m about this far from doing this) the permanent “U.S. Bank sucks” category. Plus the people who will see this page, and the others, via Google searches long into the future..

That’s hundreds, perhaps thousands of people who will hear what a crappy job U.S. Bank has done in settling this piss-ant dispute. Thousands who will hear how, once your problem gets sucked into the bowels of U.S. Bank, you’d best be prepared to spend hours on the phone, and months of time waiting for the problem to be resolved. If it ever is. If you don’t give up, first.

I would have given up. I freely admit it. I’d have sacrificed the money and run, a long time ago.

Margie won’t do that. Because she’s all those things I listed in the second paragraph, and she expects that others will be, too. And it’s right that she does, and that she hold them to it.

God, I love her.

So tell your friends. Tell your family. Avoid U.S. Bank. There are plenty of alternatives. They might suck, too, but at least you have one firm datapoint here that U.S. Bank sucks big time.

Or, as Margie just told me (going back to the Mary Poppins lesson about banking), “If you can’t trust a bank to return your phone call, how can you trust them with your money?”

It’s all about trust. That’s what banking and finance and accounting is founded on. That’s why the Andersen scandal has been so big.

U.S. Bank has blown our trust in them. They’ve frittered it away over a silly $250 charge. They’ve frittered it away by nobody taking responsibility, nobody acting in a professional, helpful, compassionate, or responsive manner. They’ve frittered it away by not returning phone calls when they said they would. They’ve frittered it away one bad service experience after another.

They don’t have our trust any more. Should they have yours?

[For more in this thread, visit here.]