{"id":10045,"date":"2006-09-18T15:26:13","date_gmt":"2006-09-18T22:26:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/2006\/09\/18\/truth-in-announcing.html"},"modified":"2006-09-18T15:26:13","modified_gmt":"2006-09-18T22:26:13","slug":"truth_in_announcing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2006\/09\/18\/truth_in_announcing.html","title":{"rendered":"Truth in Announcing"},"content":{"rendered":"

The only thing remotely engaging or interesting about listening to flight attendants drone on about safety procedures is trying to spot when and where things have changed — something added, something taken out.<\/p>\n

It might be more interesting if they told the truth<\/a>:<\/p>\n

The flight attendants are now pointing out the emergency exits. This is the part of the announcement that you might want to pay attention to. So stop your sudoku for a minute and listen: knowing in advance where the exits are makes a dramatic difference to your chances of survival if we have to evacuate the aircraft.<\/p>\n

Also, please keep your seat belt fastened when seated, even if the seat-belt light is not illuminated. This is to protect you from the risk of clear-air turbulence, a rare but extremely nasty form of disturbance that can cause severe injury. Imagine the heavy food trolleys jumping into the air and bashing into the overhead lockers, and you will have some idea of how nasty it can be. We don’t want to scare you. Still, keep that seat belt fastened all the same.<\/p>\n

Your life-jacket can be found under your seat, but please do not remove it now. In fact, do not bother to look for it at all. In the event of a landing on water, an unprecedented miracle will have occurred, because in the history of aviation the number of wide-bodied aircraft that have made successful landings on water is zero. This aircraft is equipped with inflatable slides that detach to form life rafts, not that it makes any difference. Please remove high-heeled shoes before using the slides. We might as well add that space helmets and anti-gravity belts should also be removed, since even to mention the use of the slides as rafts is to enter the realm of science fiction.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

(There is evidently some debate over the “water landings<\/a>” question, but the number is, at the very least, passingly small.)<\/p>\n

(via BoingBoing<\/a>)<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The only thing remotely engaging or interesting about listening to flight attendants drone on about safety procedures is trying to spot when and where things have changed — something added,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-travel"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":29125,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2012\/08\/01\/making-space-on-the-bus-and-train-and-plane.html","url_meta":{"origin":10045,"position":0},"title":"Making space on the bus and train (and plane)","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 1-Aug-12 11:53am","format":false,"excerpt":"I see this on airline flights (and the flight attendants will often call it out when the flight is full). \u00a0I also see it daily on the train, though for the most part people are pretty good about making space. \u00a0For the most part.I will confess that on our trains\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31935,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2012\/12\/27\/tales-of-flight.html","url_meta":{"origin":10045,"position":1},"title":"Tales of Flight","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 27-Dec-12 11:16pm","format":false,"excerpt":"I wouldn't call these \"shocking,\" but they are kind of interesting. \u00a0I might think of something other than Diet Coke to order in the future. Embedded Link 10 Shocking Secrets of Flight Attendants - Mental Floss 10 Flight Attendant SecretsHeather Poole has worked for a major airline for more than\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44248,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2014\/08\/08\/the-evolving-airline-media-environment.html","url_meta":{"origin":10045,"position":2},"title":"The evolving airline media environment","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 8-Aug-14 7:59am","format":false,"excerpt":"All I have to say is, \"I'm glad I always have a book with me.\"Aside from being a big #firstworldproblem , this is kind of interesting. I was thinking the other day (in a discussion about cell phones on planes) about how you never see those seat-back telephones any more.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32730,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2013\/03\/05\/security-theater-of-the-surreal.html","url_meta":{"origin":10045,"position":3},"title":"Security Theater of the Surreal","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 5-Mar-13 2:17pm","format":false,"excerpt":"On the one hand, I applaud the TSA for actually doing something relatively sane here. \u00a0People will be able to carry aboard (once again) small pocket knives (2.36\" blade length), as well as lacrosse sticks, ski poles, and small, souvenir baseball bats.Which makes sense, because, really, nobody is going to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5937,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2004\/06\/25\/too_friendly_sk.html","url_meta":{"origin":10045,"position":4},"title":"Too-Friendly skies","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 25-Jun-04 8:58am","format":false,"excerpt":"After 9-11, the consensus among folks I chatted with was that \"cooperative\" hijackings were a thing of the past. Nobody was going to believe that, if only they played nice,...","rel":"","context":"In "Homeland Security"","block_context":{"text":"Homeland Security","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/politics-law\/homeland-security"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":133549,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2017\/05\/25\/when-men-will-not-sit-next-to-women-on-an-airplane.html","url_meta":{"origin":10045,"position":5},"title":"When men will not sit next to women on an airplane","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 25-May-17 6:39pm","format":false,"excerpt":"In this case, we're talking about ultra-Orthodox Jewish men on air flights between the US and Israel. 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