{"id":10911,"date":"2007-05-21T22:23:14","date_gmt":"2007-05-22T05:23:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/2007\/05\/21\/capt-ahab-has-nothing-on-me.html"},"modified":"2007-05-21T22:23:14","modified_gmt":"2007-05-22T05:23:14","slug":"capt_ahab_has_nothing_on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2007\/05\/21\/capt_ahab_has_nothing_on.html","title":{"rendered":"Capt. Ahab has nothing on me"},"content":{"rendered":"

Just to demonstrate, after the last post, that I actually am going around the bend …<\/p>\n

So we have the new guest room pretty much in shape for, well, guests.  In particular, my parents, arriving Thursday.<\/p>\n

Just one small problem (aside from wanting to clean off the desktop, get the tchotchke shelves stocked, etc.).  The room has been … haunted … over the years … by … cats.<\/p>\n

Yeah.<\/p>\n

The real solution is that we need to replace the carpet.  Which is true for pretty much the whole house, and that’s not going to happen between now and Thursday afternoon, so …<\/p>\n

… I ask Doyce if I can borrow his carpet cleaner, and he says sure, and, rather than bringing it over on Sunday, he softly, silently, slips it into the garage on Monday, after Margie’s gotten home …<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

And I begin to clean the carpet.  And, given the state of the carpet, I’m running the machine on Heavy, Nay, Ungodly Traffic, and using the bottle of Pet-Stain-Be-Gone Bissell “Pet Odor and Soil” carpet cleaner stuff<\/a> which Doyce left with the cleaner.<\/p>\n

Which, needless to say, rapidly gets exhausted.<\/p>\n

At which point, I see the white whale on the horizon and head that direction.<\/p>\n

King Soopers?  Nope.  They have the normal, non-Pet-related Bissell cleaner, but not the Real Thing.<\/p>\n

Walgreens?  Nope.<\/p>\n

Safeway?  Nope.  <\/p>\n

I call Doyce.  Get his voice mail.  I check in with Margie, who is far more tolerant of all this than I have any right to expect.  She checks the Bissell page, and calls me back to let me know that Petco and Lowe’s supposedly have The Real Thing.<\/p>\n

I go to Petco.  Nope.  They have various off-brand anti-pet-odor things, supposedly rated for carpet cleaners, but I do not weaken, do not give in.  Somewhere, that purple bottle is out there, mocking me …<\/p>\n

Lowe’s is, ironically, too inconvenient to drive to.  So I go to Home Depot, instead.  Nope.  I form a contingency plan, and pick up some Zep High Traffic Carpet Cleaner, Good for Pet Stains, Too.  But that’s just a fall-back position ….<\/p>\n

I go to PetSmart (“Like Petco But Without Actual Pets”).  Nope.  Various off-brand organic orange-flavored carpet cleaners … but I won’t give up.  It tasks me, and I will have it!<\/p>\n

I drive to the Belly of the Beast, Wal-Mart.  They don’t even have carpet cleaner fluids, unless they are with the carpet cleaners (which I also cannot find — I flee before I become one of the Pod People).<\/p>\n

I limp home, some 90 minutes after I left.  I finish the job with the Zep — too foamy, it is, yet I trust it will do the job.<\/p>\n

Let’s see how the room smells tomorrow …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Just to demonstrate, after the last post, that I actually am going around the bend … So we have the new guest room pretty much in shape for, well, guests. …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10911","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-home-improvement"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":20454,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2011\/03\/15\/carpet-2.html","url_meta":{"origin":10911,"position":0},"title":"Carpet 2","author":"Margie","date":"Tue 15-Mar-11 6:01pm","format":false,"excerpt":"...Guest room.","rel":"","context":"In "Home Improvement"","block_context":{"text":"Home Improvement","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/home-improvement"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12101,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2007\/11\/19\/look_wood_floors.html","url_meta":{"origin":10911,"position":1},"title":"Look! Wood floors!","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 19-Nov-07 5:01pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Project of the week is putting down some hard flooring in the \"craft room\" (former Kitten bedroom). Today we tore up carpet....","rel":"","context":"In "Home Improvement"","block_context":{"text":"Home Improvement","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/home-improvement"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm3.static.flickr.com\/2396\/2048793410_5751569514.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":20453,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2011\/03\/15\/carpet-1.html","url_meta":{"origin":10911,"position":2},"title":"Carpet 1","author":"Margie","date":"Tue 15-Mar-11 6:00pm","format":false,"excerpt":"New carpet on stairs, loft & [upper hallway.]","rel":"","context":"In "Home Improvement"","block_context":{"text":"Home Improvement","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/home-improvement"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20398,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2011\/03\/07\/kittens-new-carpet-and-dresser.html","url_meta":{"origin":10911,"position":3},"title":"Kitten’s new carpet and dresser","author":"Margie","date":"Mon 7-Mar-11 5:55pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Bed arriving tomorrow. Kitten enjoying sleeping on the floor.","rel":"","context":"In "Home Improvement"","block_context":{"text":"Home Improvement","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/home-improvement"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18404,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2010\/09\/02\/well-we-can-now-do-the-dishes-but.html","url_meta":{"origin":10911,"position":4},"title":"Well we can now do the dishes, but …","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 2-Sep-10 10:04pm","format":false,"excerpt":"The first sign of trouble. The subsequent sign of significant trouble. The pictures of today's action, first and second. The current status: The drain from the kitchen now ... drains. \u00a0The cracked clean-out cap is replaced. The rotted-out cast iron bit running below it has been excavated, cut out, the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Home Improvement"","block_context":{"text":"Home Improvement","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/home-improvement"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/roman-plumbing-ephesus.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/roman-plumbing-ephesus.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/roman-plumbing-ephesus.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/roman-plumbing-ephesus.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/roman-plumbing-ephesus.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4558,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/08\/06\/brown_not_grey.html","url_meta":{"origin":10911,"position":5},"title":"Brown, not grey","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 6-Aug-03 10:09pm","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm not sure why it is that our household has all the power tools that the Testerfolk borrow, and theirs has all the carpet cleaning tools that we borrow, but...","rel":"","context":"In "Home Improvement"","block_context":{"text":"Home Improvement","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/home-improvement"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10911","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10911"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10911\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10911"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10911"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10911"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}