{"id":13156,"date":"2008-07-08T08:53:14","date_gmt":"2008-07-08T15:53:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/2008\/07\/08\/comic-book-battles.html"},"modified":"2008-07-08T08:53:14","modified_gmt":"2008-07-08T15:53:14","slug":"comic_book_battles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2008\/07\/08\/comic_book_battles.html","title":{"rendered":"Comic Book Battles"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The Chicago Tribune is doing a goofy <a href=\"http:\/\/redeye.chicagotribune.com\/entertainment\/red-superherotourney,0,4881219.special\" target=\"_blank\">superhero-vs-superhero competition<\/a>.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Imagine if the best superheroes of all-time got together for one giant showdown. It&#8217;d be a gut-wrenching, no-mercy melee.<\/p>\n<p>You can stop dreaming. Welcome to RedEye&#8217;s &#8220;Best Superhero&#8221; tourney, which will run over the next few weeks and determine the best superhero ever.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Well, no, of course it&nbsp;won&#8217;t.&nbsp;&nbsp;But it may provide some entertainment.&nbsp;Readers get to vote, which will make it particularly goofy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Note that the poll&nbsp;isn&#8217;t consistent about&nbsp;whether we&#8217;re talking about an arena match, remote assignments, or even just a subjective &#8220;who&#8217;s the best superhero?&#8221; popularity contest (which makes the inclusion of Catwoman problematic). I&#8217;m treating this as the first &#8212; two go in, one comes out.<\/p>\n<p>So let&#8217;s see how I rate the first round, just for giggles.<\/p>\n<p>STAN LEE REGION<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li> <u>No. 1 Superman vs. No. 8 Mr. Fantastic<\/u> &#8212; I have to give this one to <strong>Superman<\/strong>. Given time and equipment, Reed Richards could pull a Lex Luthor, but on a straight one-on-one, Richards has been defeated by far less uber characters than Superman.<\/li>\n<li> <u>No. 4 Capt. America vs. No. 5 Capt. Marvel<\/u> &#8212; We&#8217;re talking the Billy Batson Captain Marvel here, and I&#8217;m going to further posit it&#8217;s the &#8220;classic&#8221; flavor. In which case I&#8217;m going to have to go with <strong>Captain America <\/strong>(Steve Rogers) because (a) he&#8217;s a kick-ass warrior and (b) Billy would be way too nice to go all-out on him.<\/li>\n<li> <u>No. 3 The Thing vs. No. 6 The Shadow<\/u> &#8212; Sorry, a pair of .45s, nigh-invisibility, and a spooky laugh do not make up for a single sound-barrier-crashing clap of the hands. <strong>The Thing <\/strong>eventually wins, just because there&#8217;s nothing the Shadow can do to actually hurt him.<\/li>\n<li> <u>No. 2 Wonder Woman vs. No. 7 Spawn<\/u> &#8212; Not up enough on my Spawn to know the actual power levels being talked about here, but Diana has kicked mythological and demonic butt enough times that I&#8217;m not worried about <strong>Wonder Woman <\/strong>winning.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>KEVIN SMITH REGION<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li> <u>No. 1 Batman vs. No. 8 The Spirit<\/u> &#8212; Nothing against Danny Colt, but <strong>Batman <\/strong>cleans his clock in about 15 seconds, tops.<\/li>\n<li> <u>No. 4 Thor vs. No. 5 Buffy The Vamp. Slayer<\/u> &#8212; While Buffy has taken on gods before, I really can&#8217;t see her taking down this one, once <strong>Thor <\/strong>made up his mind to actually hit a cute girl.<\/li>\n<li> <u>No. 3 Silver Surfer vs. No. 6 Popeye<\/u> &#8212; The Power Cosmic trump the Power Spinach.&nbsp;Sorry, <strong>Silver Surfer <\/strong>in about half a nanosecond Kirbyesque blasting, followed by several minutes of angsty regret.<\/li>\n<li> <u>No. 2 The Flash vs. No. 7 Flash Gordon<\/u> &#8212; Um &#8230; you do realize that Flash Gordon has no powers, is frequently knocked out and taken prisoner, and &#8230; um, <strong>Flash <\/strong>probably makes this the fastest victory.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>NICOLAS CAGE REGION<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li> <u>No. 1 Spider-Man vs. No. 8 Phoenix<\/u> &#8212; From the picture, it looks like we&#8217;re talking classic green-suit Phoenix, so an incredibly powerful psi-teke vs. a guy who&#8217;s harder to hit and take down than a cockroach. I have to give it to <strong>Phoenix<\/strong>, but Spidey would make a hell of battle of it.<\/li>\n<li> <u>No. 4 Black Panther vs. No. 5 Punisher<\/u> &#8212; Frank Castle is tough, ruthless, and well-armed. The Panther is the same, only more on Captain America&#8217;s level. It would be a rollicking battle, but advantage to the <strong>Black Panther<\/strong>.<\/li>\n<li> <u>No. 3 Green Lantern vs. No. 6 Green Arrow<\/u> &#8212; I&#8217;m sure there is one circumstance or another where GA could take down GL, but not in anything resembling a stand-up fight. <strong>Green Lantern <\/strong>cleans his clock.<\/li>\n<li> <u>No. 2 Iron Man vs. No. 7 Elektra<\/u> &#8212;&nbsp;Iron Man should win this hands-down, but Elektra&#8217;s almost as wily and resourceful as Batman. I mean, she&#8217;s a freaking <em>ninja<\/em> (I&#8217;m counting this as her, not as a Skrull, mind you). And she&#8217;s a stone killer, which Tony Stark &#8212; who has way too high of an opinion of his technical superiority to take the match seriously until it&#8217;s far too late &#8212; is not. I have to give this to <strong>Elektra<\/strong>, the underdog.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>ROSARIO DAWSON REGION<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li> <u>No. 1 Wolverine vs. No. 8 Sub-Mariner<\/u> &#8212; A battle with serious anger management issues. I&#8217;d probably give it to <strong>Wolverine <\/strong>after a looooong match, but we&#8217;re talking a major workout for that healing factor.<\/li>\n<li> <u>No. 4 Hellboy vs. No. 5 Daredevil<\/u> &#8212; <strong>Hellboy <\/strong>gets repeatedly kicked, batoned, punched, tripped, thrown, and then gets ticked off and clocks DD. Game over.<\/li>\n<li> <u>No. 3 Hulk vs. No. 6 Aquaman<\/u> &#8212; Arthur&#8217;s damned powerful, but <strong>Hulk<\/strong>, in nearly any incarnation, can take him, unless serious trickery is involved.<\/li>\n<li> <u>No. 2 Catwoman vs. No. 7 Kitty Pryde<\/u> &#8212; Ultimately, her only power (besides ninja training and picking up tips from Wolverine) is to become intangible. I&#8217;m going to give <strong>Catwoman <\/strong>this one, but it could go both ways.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I voted for each of these, which let me see the results to date (voting for this round ends on Friday). I&#8217;m with the majority on most, but by no means all, of the picks above.<\/p>\n<p><small><\/p>\n<p>(via DOF)<\/p>\n<p><\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Chicago Tribune is doing a goofy superhero-vs-superhero competition. Imagine if the best superheroes of all-time got together for one giant showdown. It&#8217;d be a gut-wrenching, no-mercy melee. You can&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-media-comics"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":23839,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2011\/11\/18\/purple-prose-and-jessica-jones.html","url_meta":{"origin":13156,"position":0},"title":"Purple Prose and Jessica Jones","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 18-Nov-11 11:05am","format":false,"excerpt":"Having just finished rereading the books, I'm very excited about an Alias ... er, aka Jessica Jones TV series, and the writer here seems to have a good grasp on the character (though I'm filled with cognitive dissonance about her also writing the newest Twilight movie and for Dexter ...).Less\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;~PlusPosts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38146,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2013\/07\/05\/superhero-movie-bingo.html","url_meta":{"origin":13156,"position":1},"title":"Superhero Movie Bingo","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 5-Jul-13 12:42pm","format":false,"excerpt":"I like it.Reshared post from +Mark MeansCoolnessWho says BINGO has to be a yawnfest??\"Oh...there's Stan Lee....BINGO!!\" Superhero Movie Bingo I had an idea pop into my head the other day, and I just had to see it through to fruition. There's plenty of common things that happen in many superhero\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;~PlusPosts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":50531,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2015\/05\/07\/superhero-movies-no-girlz-allowed.html","url_meta":{"origin":13156,"position":2},"title":"Superhero Movies: NO GIRLZ ALLOWED!","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 7-May-15 3:45pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Ike Perlmutter has always been something of a pimple on the butt of the comics industry, focused much more on the bottom line than on, in a word, art or creativity. Sadly, as one of the winnners in the bloodbath around Marvel's bankruptcy in the late 90s, he's been Marvel's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;~PlusPosts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Black%2BWidow.jpgimgmax%3D660.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Black%2BWidow.jpgimgmax%3D660.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Black%2BWidow.jpgimgmax%3D660.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":26651,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2012\/02\/23\/saucy-costumes-for-the-goose.html","url_meta":{"origin":13156,"position":3},"title":"Saucy costumes for the goose","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 23-Feb-12 9:34pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Not the first such collection I've seen, but these go for both costume and pose, so they get extra credit. #ddtb Embedded Link Hur Dur Dur (Welcome to: If Male Superhero Costumes were...) Welcome to: If Male Superhero Costumes were Designed Like Female Superhero Costumes! Aaaaa I dunno. I got\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;~PlusPosts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":49215,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2015\/01\/09\/astro-city-is-the-super-hero-comic-fans-super-hero-comic.html","url_meta":{"origin":13156,"position":4},"title":"Astro City is the super-hero comic fan&#039;s super-hero comic","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 9-Jan-15 9:43am","format":false,"excerpt":"I've loved Kurt Busiek's Astro City book since its inception. Abetted by Brent Anderson on the interior art and Alex Ross on the covers, Busiek plays with, respects, and brings freshness to super-hero tropes in a way nobody else does in the industry. He also spends a lot of time\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;~PlusPosts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":128797,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2015\/11\/14\/the-best-superhero-tv-show-ever.html","url_meta":{"origin":13156,"position":5},"title":"The Best Superhero TV Show Ever","author":"***Dave","date":"Sat 14-Nov-15 10:41am","format":false,"excerpt":"There are some other fine contenders, but I can't argue with the conclusion of the writer here. JLU was and remains the best supers show on TV.In addition to all the fine reasons the writer mentions, I'll add a couple of my own.Though the show gave us a lot of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;~PlusPosts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13156"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13156\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}