{"id":138586,"date":"2019-04-10T19:31:11","date_gmt":"2019-04-11T01:31:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/?p=138586"},"modified":"2019-04-10T19:31:11","modified_gmt":"2019-04-11T01:31:11","slug":"into-the-laminated-woods","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2019\/04\/10\/into-the-laminated-woods.html","title":{"rendered":"Into the (Laminated) Woods"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Here’s a lovely (and hysterical) description of a family trip to IKEA by James Breakwell:<\/p>\n

12:48 We\u2019re inside. Everything is so clean and so Swedish. Not sure what I mean by that, but it sounds vaguely offensive. I should probably delete it later.<\/p>\n

12:49 No time to admire things. We\u2019re heading straight to the cafeteria. But there\u2019s no direct route there. The path winds randomly, but I dare not step off it or I\u2019ll be lost forever. IKEA is basically Mirkwood.<\/p>\n

12:51 Other customers are speaking with a British accent. How far have we traveled?<\/p>\n

12:54 Minotaur.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Read the whole thing<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I will be forever saying “IKEA is Mirkwood” whenever I visit in the future.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
“Good-bye! Be good, take care of yourselves \u2013 and DON’T\u00a0LEAVE THE PATH<\/em>!” — Gandalf<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Though I think there are fewer spiders.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A delightful chronicle into a family trip to IKEA.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":138587,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[35,30],"tags":[1554],"class_list":["post-138586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-big-business","category-jokes","tag-ikea"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IKEA-Centennial.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":26851,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2012\/03\/05\/ikea-or-cheese.html","url_meta":{"origin":138586,"position":0},"title":"IKEA or Cheese?","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 5-Mar-12 3:38pm","format":false,"excerpt":"This one's for Margie. (I got a 64%, but I'm sure she'll do better.) #ddtb Embedded Link IKEA or Cheese? Online Quiz - Mental Floss How well do you know IKEA or Cheese?? Take the free online quiz on Mental Floss to find out.","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41374,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2014\/03\/09\/sci-fi-ikea-manuals.html","url_meta":{"origin":138586,"position":1},"title":"Sci-Fi Ikea Manuals","author":"***Dave","date":"Sun 9-Mar-14 12:19pm","format":false,"excerpt":"These have been around a few years, but they're still darned funny. \u00a0I particularly enjoy the piece list for the TARDIS.\ufeff Sci-Fi Ikea Manuals \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 View this post on Google+","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22529,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2011\/09\/05\/tweets-from-2011-09-05.html","url_meta":{"origin":138586,"position":2},"title":"Tweets from 2011-09-05","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 5-Sep-11 10:45pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Minor coincidence today: saw Barbara Anderson as Lenore on ST:TOS \"Conscience of the King,\" then later as IMF member on Mission: Impossible. # A month later and IKEA still with event staff and overflow parking. Yeesh. # Managed to find our way back out of IKEA, but now we're all\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~Tweets"","block_context":{"text":"~Tweets","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/tweets"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33694,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2013\/05\/10\/done-with-this-quarters-ikea.html","url_meta":{"origin":138586,"position":3},"title":"Done with this quarter’s IKEA …","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 10-May-13 3:44pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Done with this quarter's IKEA Death March. Time for some aquavit.","rel":"","context":"In "~Tweets"","block_context":{"text":"~Tweets","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/tweets"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":136208,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2018\/05\/03\/swedish-meatballs-are-originally-from-turkey.html","url_meta":{"origin":138586,"position":4},"title":"Swedish Meatballs are originally from … Turkey?","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 3-May-18 7:53pm","format":false,"excerpt":"And, no, I'm not saying that Swedish Meatballs should be made with ground turkey (though I'm not saying they shouldn't be). But there's a good historical case to be made that Swedish Meatballs were actually introduced to Sweden by Charles XII in the 18th Century after a lengthy stay amongst\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/swedish-meatball.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10997,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2007\/04\/30\/coming_soon_to_a_vacant_l.html","url_meta":{"origin":138586,"position":5},"title":"Coming Soon to a Vacant Lot Near You!","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 30-Apr-07 9:47am","format":false,"excerpt":"Big Box Watch, tracking where new \"big box\" stores are in the works around the US.\u00a0 Currently tracks Best Buy, Home Depot, Ikea, JCPenney, Kohl's, Lowe's, Target, and Wal-Mart\u00a0....","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/images\/bigboxwatch.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=138586"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138586\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":138589,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138586\/revisions\/138589"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/138587"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=138586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=138586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=138586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}