{"id":1630,"date":"2001-12-02T17:55:28","date_gmt":"2001-12-02T22:55:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/?p=1630"},"modified":"2014-11-06T09:39:50","modified_gmt":"2014-11-06T16:39:50","slug":"todays_humor_fr","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2001\/12\/02\/todays_humor_fr.html","title":{"rendered":"Today’s humor from Top5 list"},"content":{"rendered":"

After having mentioned how Philip Morris is changing their corporate name to Altria, I feel obliged to provide the Top5 list on the subject.<\/p>\n

The Top 17 Rejected Slogans for The Altria Group<\/b>
\n17> New Snazzy Name, Same Lying Scumbags!
\n16> Altria: The Curiously Strong Carcinogen
\n15> Altria: Because “al Qaeda” was already taken
\n14> Oh, like you never gave a fake name before screwing somebody?
\n13> Try Our Healthy Organic Oral Incense Sticks!
\n12> It’s Latin for “Light up, Spunky!”
\n11> Altria: We shortened the name so you can say it without coughing.
\n10> We’re not your father’s multi-national corporate killing machine.
\n9> Hey, *you* try coming up with a good name when you HAVEN’T HAD A SMOKE IN TWO F***ING HOURS!
\n8> Altria: Because some little shit wanted $500,000 for the rights to eSmoke.com.
\n7> Have Fun Retyping All Those Lawsuits, Suckers!
\n6> And We’re Also Referring to Lung Cancer as “Respiria”
\n5> Altria: The Name Just Rolls Off Your Yellow Tongue
\n4> Deaths to date from smoking Altria cigarettes: 0
\n3> Lame? Sure, but it’s still WAY better than “Attack of the Clones”
\n2> Mr. Morris, If You’re Nasty
\nand Topfive.com’s Number 1 Rejected Slogan for The Altria Group…<\/i>
\n1> We don’t make cancer. We make it cancerier.<\/p>\n

The Top5<\/a> list is Copyright (c) 2001 by Chris White.<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After having mentioned how Philip Morris is changing their corporate name to Altria, I feel obliged to provide the Top5 list on the subject. The Top 17 Rejected Slogans for…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[16,372],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1630","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-potpourri","category-star-wars-media-movies"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":741,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2001\/11\/17\/phone_call_for.html","url_meta":{"origin":1630,"position":0},"title":"“Phone call for … Altria?”","author":"***Dave","date":"Sat 17-Nov-01 2:24pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Tobacco companies have long contended that the only reason they advertise is not to encourage people to take up smoking (of course not!), but to promote brand recognition and name...","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1564,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2001\/12\/08\/phone_call_for.html","url_meta":{"origin":1630,"position":1},"title":"“Phone call for Phillip Morris!”","author":"***Dave","date":"Sat 8-Dec-01 10:10pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Denver's venture capital company Altira is suing Phillip Morris to keep them from changing their name to Altria. 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