{"id":1763,"date":"2002-05-01T20:04:59","date_gmt":"2002-05-02T01:04:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/?p=1763"},"modified":"2002-05-01T20:04:59","modified_gmt":"2002-05-02T01:04:59","slug":"doyce_made_me_d","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/05\/01\/doyce_made_me_d.html","title":{"rendered":"Doyce made me do it"},"content":{"rendered":"

After passing up several references elsewhere, Doyce <\/a>finally got me to read The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the US Army<\/a>.<\/p>\n

My Top 5 … well, 11:<\/p>\n

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
\n34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
\n55. An order to ‘Put Kiwi on my boots’ does *not* involve fruit.
\n58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
\n87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
\n101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.
\n111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles.
\n118. Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires – therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.
\n152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light \u00ae batteries.
\n173. I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
\n191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot. <\/p>\n

Who says Stripes<\/a><\/i> was fiction?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After passing up several references elsewhere, Doyce finally got me to read The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the US Army. My Top 5 ……<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1763","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-potpourri"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":50955,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2015\/05\/11\/chew-gum-to-fix-ear-worms.html","url_meta":{"origin":1763,"position":0},"title":"Chew gum to fix ear worms","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 11-May-15 5:50pm","format":false,"excerpt":"What does the Wrigley's say? I'll have to remember this. It would probably help if I also carried gum. Annoying song stuck in your head? Chew gum Catchy songs are infectious, so you shouldn't feel bad if you've spent the last six months muttering about being all about that bass.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":137262,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2018\/09\/29\/whom-do-you-serve-and-whom-do-you-trust.html","url_meta":{"origin":1763,"position":1},"title":"Whom do you serve, and whom do you trust?","author":"***Dave","date":"Sat 29-Sep-18 4:28pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Remind me which one was the person who's being put forward to serve a lifetime role as one of the top jurists in our nation? Originally shared by +Doyce Testerman: Kavanaugh didn\u2019t just DARVO his way through yesterday\u2019s hearing: his bluster, tears, rage, and blame-shifting also allowed him to dodge\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":45318,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2014\/09\/17\/baby-decision-making.html","url_meta":{"origin":1763,"position":2},"title":"Baby Decision-Making","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 17-Sep-14 6:06pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Been a while, but I don't think this has changed in the last dozen-plus years. Originally shared by +Doyce Testerman: How Babies Make DecisionsFinal step: Scream. Just because. DOGHOUSE | How Babies Make Decisions Hey people! Forekast just launched! It's a project we've been working on. If you wanna know\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4588,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/08\/03\/home_sweet_home.html","url_meta":{"origin":1763,"position":3},"title":"Home, sweet home","author":"***Dave","date":"Sun 3-Aug-03 2:51pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Doyce gets The Dreaded Knock On the Door in the Middle of the Night -- or, more properly, The Dreaded Letter from the Homeowner's Association in the Middle of the...","rel":"","context":"In "Home Improvement"","block_context":{"text":"Home Improvement","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/home-improvement"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":131143,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2016\/07\/26\/animation-magic.html","url_meta":{"origin":1763,"position":4},"title":"Animation Magic","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 26-Jul-16 5:48pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Calling this a montage of Disney animated images would very much understate the description. Very cool. Watch it.[h\/t +Doyce Testerman] View on Google+","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":722,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2001\/11\/20\/i_am_doyces_dis.html","url_meta":{"origin":1763,"position":5},"title":"I am Doyce’s disease","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 20-Nov-01 5:48pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Or not. According to the Horrible Affliction Test ... Which reminds me ... 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