Some things to not bear too much criticism or examination, and I acknowledge that this is a humorous piece, but worth a few moments of nattering and consideration …<\/p>\n
Truths for mature adults\u2026..<\/p>\n
1.\u00a0 I think part of a best friend\u2019s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Actually, nothing there I’m at all concerned about. Especially with more recent browsers that let you surf without a history file …<\/p>\n
2.\u00a0 Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you\u2019re wrong.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Um … yup.<\/p>\n
3.\u00a0 I totally take back all those times I didn\u2019t want to nap when I was younger.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Um … double-yup.<\/p>\n
4.\u00a0 There is great need for a sarcasm font.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Jonathan Swift and H.L. Mencken and Mark Twain somehow all managed …<\/p>\n
5.\u00a0 How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Use the internal seam points as your corners. Tuck in loose edges as you go. You really need two to make it work.<\/p>\n
6.\u00a0 Was learning cursive really necessary?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Well, I don’t use cursive for any of my handwriting, but I’m glad I have a cursive (ish) scrawl for my signature. Block letter the sig line on a check draws stares.<\/p>\n
7.\u00a0 Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5.\u00a0 I\u2019m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Maybe as an option. If you’re doing directions from someplace you don’t know …<\/p>\n
8.\u00a0 Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Most usually do, though not in any great detail.<\/p>\n
9.\u00a0 I can\u2019t remember the last time I wasn\u2019t at least kind of tired.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
See #3.<\/p>\n
10.\u00a0 Bad decisions make good stories.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Very true. Good decisions make for dull stories, either for the teller, or the tellee.<\/p>\n
11.\u00a0 You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren\u2019t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Voluntarily and involuntarily.<\/p>\n
12.\u00a0 Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray?\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to have to restart my collection\u2026again.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I’d like to think that it will be data files that will Last Forever. But that ignores resolution and technolgical advances, let alone DRM and distribution restrictions and vendor control over what you are
buying<\/del> licensing.<\/p>\n13.\u00a0 I\u2019m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Heh.<\/p>\n
14.\u00a0 \u201cDo not machine wash or tumble dry\u201d means I will never wash this \u2013 ever.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
We delicate-wash quite a few things that are “dry clean only.” On the other hand, it sure seems that women’s clothing has a large percentage of “dry flat” and “line dry” restrictions. (I intentionally only buy things that don’t have to be ironed.)<\/p>\n
15.\u00a0 I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?\u00a0 Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail.\u00a0 What did you do after I didn\u2019t answer?\u00a0 Drop the phone and run away?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Usually it rings once, and then I know that they’ve rolled to my voice mail and are leaving me a message, so then I have to call them back again.<\/p>\n
16.\u00a0 I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Pretty much my life. But do I get to wear shorts and Hawaiian shirts to the office? Nooooooo ….<\/p>\n
17.\u00a0 I keep some people\u2019s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Too many of my calls come from offices that don’t have a recognizable caller ID. Bastards.<\/p>\n
18.\u00a0 I think the freezer deserves a light as well.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Um … at least two of our fridges have lights in the freezer.<\/p>\n
19.\u00a0 I disagree with Kay Jewelers.\u00a0 I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lips that touch Miller Lite will never touch mine!<\/p>\n
20.\u00a0 Sometimes I\u2019ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Yup. That goes right along with walking into a room and suddenly not being sure why you did.<\/p>\n
21.\u00a0 Sometimes, I\u2019ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Yup. Frequently.<\/p>\n
22.\u00a0 I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Ah, the Litherman’s Load. I know it well. Margie says I do it because I’m self-challenging. I say I do it because I’m lazy.<\/p>\n
23.\u00a0 The only time I look forward to a red light is when I\u2019m trying to finish a text.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
HA! Yes.<\/p>\n
24.\u00a0 I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Oh, yes.<\/p>\n
25.\u00a0 How many times is it appropriate to say \u201cWhat?\u201d before you just nod and smile because you still didn\u2019t hear or understand a word they said?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Been there, nodded that.<\/p>\n
26.\u00a0 I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.\u00a0 Stay strong, brothers and sisters!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Sadly, someone always lets him\/her in.<\/p>\n
27.\u00a0 Shirts get dirty.\u00a0 Underwear gets dirty.\u00a0 Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
They’re certainly good for multiple wearings, depending on the circumstances (wrinkles, occasion to wear them to). I try to wear work pants for at least a couple of days. Shorts over the summer may get a week or two of wear.<\/p>\n
28.\u00a0 Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
It’s not just you.<\/p>\n
29.\u00a0 There\u2019s no worse feeling than that millisecond you\u2019re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Related to #2.<\/p>\n
30.\u00a0 As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
There are indeed bicyclists who ride like jerks. I’m by no means convinced they exceed in number the other two classes in their jerkiness.<\/p>\n
31.\u00a0 Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey \u2013 but I\u2019d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Actually, I’m just as likely to knock the damn thing on the floor, since I never hit snooze (That Way Lateness Lies …).<\/p>\n
(via Doyce<\/a> from Vulcan Stev<\/a>)
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