{"id":18769,"date":"2010-10-01T10:41:40","date_gmt":"2010-10-01T16:41:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/?p=18769"},"modified":"2010-10-01T11:13:33","modified_gmt":"2010-10-01T17:13:33","slug":"silly-jokes-to-make-you-smile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2010\/10\/01\/silly-jokes-to-make-you-smile.html","title":{"rendered":"Silly jokes to make you smile"},"content":{"rendered":"

Via De<\/a>.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    \nUnique up on it.<\/li>\n
  2. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
    \nTame way.<\/li>\n
  3. How do crazy people go through the forest?
    \nThey take the psychopath.<\/li>\n
  4. How do you get Holy Water?
    \nYou boil the Hell out of it.<\/li>\n
  5. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
    \nDam!<\/li>\n
  6. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
    \nA stick.<\/li>\n
  7. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    \nNacho Cheese.<\/li>\n
  8. What do you call Santa’s helpers?
    \nSubordinate Clauses.<\/li>\n
  9. What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
    \nQuatro cinco.<\/li>\n
  10. What do you get from a pampered cow?
    \nSpoiled milk.<\/li>\n
  11. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    \nFrostbite.<\/li>\n
  12. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
    \nA nervous wreck.<\/li>\n
  13. What’s the difference between Roast Beef and Pea Soup?
    \nAnyone can Roast Beef.<\/li>\n
  14. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
    \nRight where you left him.<\/li>\n
  15. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
    \nBecause they have big fingers.<\/li>\n
  16. Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
    \nBecause it scares the dog.<\/li>\n
  17. Why did Pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
    \nBecause they wore their belt buckles on their hats.<\/li>\n
  18. What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
    \nA bad golfer goes, Whack, “Dang!”<\/em>
    \nA bad skydiver goes, “Dang!” Whack.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I plan on sharing these with Katherine this afternoon. \u00a0She’ll think they’re hilarious.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Via De. How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way. How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psychopath. How do you get Holy Water? You boil the Hell out of it. What do fish say when they hit a … Continue reading “Silly jokes to make you smile”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18769","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":48396,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2014\/11\/17\/margies-kitchen-roast-beef-tenderloin-with-port-sauce.html","url_meta":{"origin":18769,"position":0},"title":"Margie’s Kitchen: Roast Beef Tenderloin with Port Sauce","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 17-Nov-14 5:41am","format":false,"excerpt":"Margie's Kitchen: Roast Beef Tenderloin with Port Sauce http:\/\/bit.ly\/1BJfqho #recipe View on Twitter","rel":"","context":"In "~Tweets"","block_context":{"text":"~Tweets","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/tweets"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3335,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/12\/18\/its_tues_okay_i.html","url_meta":{"origin":18769,"position":1},"title":"It’s Tues — okay, it’s Wednesday","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 18-Dec-02 8:48am","format":false,"excerpt":"But that doesn't mean it's too late for this week's Tuesday This-or-That ... does it?...","rel":"","context":"In "Personal Q&A"","block_context":{"text":"Personal Q&A","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal\/personal-qa"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6730,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2005\/01\/11\/guilty_pleasure.html","url_meta":{"origin":18769,"position":2},"title":"Guilty Pleasures","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 11-Jan-05 10:54pm","format":false,"excerpt":"It's the Guilty Pleasures meme, even though, as I review my answers, they're pretty freakin' tame: CD I have in my car that I roll up the windows to listen...","rel":"","context":"In "Personal Q&A"","block_context":{"text":"Personal Q&A","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal\/personal-qa"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27436,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2012\/04\/17\/kobe-beef-its-not-whats-for-dinner.html","url_meta":{"origin":18769,"position":3},"title":"Kobe Beef: It's NOT what's for dinner!","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 17-Apr-12 6:58pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Not in the US, at least. No matter what it says on the menu. It's similar to disputes with Europeans over labels like \"Parmesan Cheese\" that isn't Parma or Champagne that's not from, well, Champagne. No steak is imported from Japan to the US, and Japan doesn't export any authentic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":137669,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2019\/01\/15\/that-27-pound-bucket-of-mac-n-cheese-at-costco.html","url_meta":{"origin":18769,"position":4},"title":"That 27-pound bucket of Mac 'n' Cheese at Costco","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 15-Jan-19 11:04pm","format":false,"excerpt":"In my household we always make jokes about the 50-gallon drums of shampoo one can buy at Costco. But this real-life item takes the cake. Or side dish.Alas, it's not a bucket of Mac 'n' Cheese per se, but 180 individual packaged servings of Mac 'n' Cheese, in specially sealed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38821,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2013\/09\/27\/sweet-dreams-are-made-of-cheese.html","url_meta":{"origin":18769,"position":5},"title":"Sweet dreams are made of cheese","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 27-Sep-13 6:09am","format":false,"excerpt":"Heh. \u00a0(h\/t +John E. 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