{"id":1989,"date":"2002-03-29T22:39:25","date_gmt":"2002-03-30T03:39:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/?p=1989"},"modified":"2002-03-29T22:39:25","modified_gmt":"2002-03-30T03:39:25","slug":"more_airport_se","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/03\/29\/more_airport_se.html","title":{"rendered":"More airport security humor"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>From <a href=\"http:\/\/www.satirewire.com\/news\/march02\/screeners.shtml\">SatireWire<\/a>:<\/p>\n<p class=\"block\">Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) \u2014 In a troubling sign that investigators may be getting bored with their success smuggling guns and knives onto airplanes, the U.S. Department of Transportation today disclosed that its agents have recently cleared airport security checkpoints with an M1 tank, a beluga whale, and a fully active South American volcano. <br \/>\nDOT investigators also boasted that they have repeatedly slipped past screeners with a six-burner Viking stove, the Field Museum of Natural History, and actor Sidney Poitier, whom they had gagged and, for some reason, painted bright blue.<\/p>\n<p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From SatireWire: Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) \u2014 In a troubling sign that investigators may be getting bored with their success smuggling guns and knives onto airplanes, the U.S. Department of Transportation&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-homeland-security"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2206,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/02\/15\/fbi_warnings.html","url_meta":{"origin":1989,"position":0},"title":"FBI Warnings","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 15-Feb-02 8:15pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Now here's a plan I can get behind: FBI TO ISSUE 5-DAY TERROR FORECASTS Recognizable Format Should Make It Easier for Americans to Organize Week Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) \u2014 Abandoning...","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Potpourri&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Potpourri","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/potpourri"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2020,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/03\/26\/the_highest_lev.html","url_meta":{"origin":1989,"position":1},"title":"The highest level of security","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 26-Mar-02 6:34am","format":false,"excerpt":"The inspector general of the Dept. of Transportation has been running tests of airport security since 9\/11. What's been found -- during a period when the highest level of security...","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Homeland Security&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Homeland Security","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/politics-law\/homeland-security"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1244,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/02\/07\/hey_theres_an_i.html","url_meta":{"origin":1989,"position":2},"title":"Hey, there&#8217;s an idea &#8230;","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 7-Feb-02 9:09pm","format":false,"excerpt":"News flash! SURPRISE SETTLEMENT EVENLY SPLITS MICROSOFT; ONE FIRM TO MAKE SOFTWARE, OTHER TO MAKE PATCHES Decision Keeps Redmond from Monopolizing Massive Microsoft Patch Industry Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) \u2014 In...","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Hi-Tech&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Hi-Tech","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/hi-tech"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1525,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2001\/12\/17\/but_nailclipper.html","url_meta":{"origin":1989,"position":3},"title":"But nailclippers are a big no-no","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 17-Dec-01 10:43am","format":false,"excerpt":"There have been plenty of stories of late about travellers who've had nail clippers, corkscrews (ahem), knitting needles, etc., confiscated by airport security. There have also been other stories --...","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Homeland Security&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Homeland Security","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/politics-law\/homeland-security"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4321,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/09\/25\/the_terror_of_f.html","url_meta":{"origin":1989,"position":4},"title":"The terror of flying First Class!","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 25-Sep-03 7:24am","format":false,"excerpt":"Knives are now allowed back on airplanes. The TSA is now allowing metal meal knives -- though, of course, only first class meals need them -- to go along with...","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Homeland Security&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Homeland Security","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/politics-law\/homeland-security"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10179,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2006\/08\/17\/the_eyes_have_i.html","url_meta":{"origin":1989,"position":5},"title":"The eyes have it","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 17-Aug-06 2:39pm","format":false,"excerpt":"So if we're not going to strip-search and toss into cryogenic freeze all airline passengers, we're faced with the possibility of folks slipping Bad Stuff onto airplanes. (Of course, make...","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Homeland Security&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Homeland Security","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/politics-law\/homeland-security"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1989","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1989"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1989\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}