{"id":20700,"date":"2011-04-09T15:22:01","date_gmt":"2011-04-09T21:22:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/?p=20700"},"modified":"2011-04-09T15:24:09","modified_gmt":"2011-04-09T21:24:09","slug":"nobody-expects-bryan-fischer-to-be-a-dolt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2011\/04\/09\/nobody-expects-bryan-fischer-to-be-a-dolt.html","title":{"rendered":"NOBODY EXPECTS … Bryan Fischer to be a Dolt!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Bryan Fischer, Dolt<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Actually …<\/p>\n

I suppose, Bryan, that it makes sense to you that if All Muslims are Evil Terrorists Out to Destroy Our Culture and Pollute Our Precious Bodily Fluids, then we should simply require that all Muslims who are seeking to immigrate to this country should convert away from Islam<\/a> — preferably to being “good” Christians, of course. \u00a0(It’s unclear, Bryan, whether converting to being “bad” Christians, like, say, Episcopalians, would be acceptable to you.). \u00a0Let’s roll that transcript<\/a> …<\/p>\n

Allowing Muslims to immigrate into the United States, a Christian nation by origin, history and tradition, without insisting that they drop their allegiance to Allah, Muhammad, the Qur\u2019an, and sharia law, is to commit cultural suicide.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I think they used to say that about Catholics, too, Bryan. \u00a0I mean, those mackerel-smackers need to drop their allegiance to the Pope, all those idolatrous saints, those extra books in the Bible, those crafty Jesuits, and become good Americans like the rest of us Protestants! \u00a0Look at how many troubles those drunken Irish and swarthy Eye-talians cause and lazy Mexicans cause! \u00a0Go Team Reformation!<\/p>\n

We believe in freedom of religion for Muslims like we do for everybody else.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Except that we don’t want them to be free around us<\/em> with it. \u00a0So, similarly, folks are free to exercise their freedom of speech, but only if they move to another country that doesn’t mind the ideas they espouse. \u00a0That’s … an interesting definition of freedom, Bryan.<\/p>\n

But if they insist on clinging to their religion, they will need to exercise their freedom of religion in a Muslim country which shares their values: death for those who leave Islam, the beating of wives by their husbands, and the labeling of Jews as apes and pigs.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’ll suggest that (a) death for those who were of the wrong Christian sect is a value that Christians held for many, many centuries (see: Europe). \u00a0(b) Beating of wives by husbands is explicitly defended as a Christian, Bible-based, Family Value by some ostensible Christians in this country. (Others, gentler souls simply say that women should stay at home to cook and push out babies, and that there’s no such thing as rape by husband of wife.). And (c) while not many Christians call Jews “apes and pigs,” there are still far too many of them who consider Jews as swarthy hook-nosed bankers and Christ-killers out to take over the world. And there are plenty of Christians who seem willing to label Muslims as demon-worshipers and terrorists. Does that make Muslims the new Jews?<\/p>\n

(Wow, I think I just offended three different religions with that one.)<\/p>\n

I’ll also note, on (a) and (b) that there are civil laws in the US against both, and no sign that the Evil Muslim Community in Our Midst has any desire to get rid of same. \u00a0Heck, maybe some of them are here because <\/em>they want to be away from national cultures that allow or promote such things.<\/p>\n

Immigration is a privilege, not a right, and our policy should be to admit to our shores only those with a commitment to a full assimilation to American culture, adopting our faith, our heroes, and our history. Someone with a Muslim background who wants to become an American had best be prepared to drop his Islam and his Qur\u2019an at Ellis Island.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’m sure you’re speaking metaphorically, Bryan, since you’re probably aware that immigrants aren’t processed at Ellis Island any more.<\/p>\n

But, then, what kind of drugs are you on, Bryan? \u00a0A commitment to “full assimilation to American culture, adopting our faith, our heroes, and our history” is something we’ve asked of nobody who’s come here, even folks we really didn’t want, like said Irish, or those Mediterranean types, or Jews, or Japanese, or Chinese.<\/p>\n

We ask them to be productive members of society. \u00a0We ask them to obey the law. \u00a0And that’s all we should ask them to do.<\/p>\n

Besides, Bryan, if all Muslims are really fiends out to destroy us — aren’t they going to be willing to lie <\/em>about it? \u00a0I mean, it’s not like they already declare their intent to destroy American when they arrive. \u00a0They’re all fiendish liars who will pretend to drop their demonic, anti-American not-a-real-religion at the drop of a hat.<\/p>\n

And you know what that means, Bryan — we need to have, oh, let’s say special police forces looking for Secret Muslims. \u00a0To solicit input from the Neighborhood Watch, looking for Muslims who say <\/em>they’ve converted \u00a0but who really practice their faith underground, in basements and behind closed doors, perhaps even in catacombs.<\/p>\n

Yeah, we need a special group of police, maybe led by good (Christian) religious examiners, who would follow up on leads about suspicious activities, arrest people who weren’t obviously pious enough about being Christian (and worshiping Washington and Lincoln and Chuck Norris and other True American Heroes).<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
I suspect it would not be nearly so funny as these guys<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

We could call it … the American Inquisition.<\/p>\n

That’s catchy! \u00a0Nobody would expect them! \u00a0Their greatest weapons would be fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to Ronald Reagan, and nice red uniforms …<\/p>\n

After all, that’s what the Spanish and Portuguese Inquisitions were about: after the Reconquista of Spain, tracking down Moors \/ Muslims who hadn’t converted to the True Faith. \u00a0And Jews, of course, too. \u00a0And if there were other heresies to be found — well, heck, two birds, one stoning, right?<\/p>\n

So we can set up an American Inquisition. \u00a0And once some crypto-Muslims are tracked down, if they refuse to admit that they really are still Muslims and praying five times a day toward Mecca — well, there’s always waterboarding to get it out of them. \u00a0And if that doesn’t work, or if they admit it and refuse to rat out the rest of their cell …<\/p>\n

Auto-de-f\u00e9<\/a>, anyone?<\/p>\n

Moving right along …<\/p>\n

\u2026<\/p>\n

So ancient Israel offers a paradigm of what a sensible and sane immigration policy looks like.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sorry, Bryan, was that before or after they slaughtered the Canaanites that were already in the land?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s simple: don\u2019t break the law (that is, come in through the front door instead of breaking in through a window), …<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Certainly I prefer legal immigration, and law-abiding immigrants.<\/p>\n

… convert to Christianity, …<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jews, too? \u00a0Hindus? Buddhists? \u00a0How about folks who don’t believe in anything? \u00a0And what brand of Christianity? \u00a0Not to keep harping in the Catholic thing, but do they count? How about hypothetical Mormon immigrants?<\/p>\n

Of course, it makes no sense to allow allow immigration of folks willing to become Christian, if you already have non-Christians in the country. \u00a0So I suppose we need to demand that all Americans convert, too.<\/p>\n

Better break out those red uniforms again …<\/p>\n

… fully assimilate (become an authentic American, not a hyphenated American), …<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How nice of you to decide, Bryan, not only who is a true Christian, but a true American, too. Will there be a test?<\/p>\n

… and support yourself.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The poor you will always have with you … unless you keep ’em out of the country?<\/p>\n

I’m not 100% solid on US immigration policy, but I believe we already require someone to have a job offer or a family willing to support them.<\/p>\n

If you commit to those things, you are welcome here. If you don\u2019t or won\u2019t, perhaps it\u2019s best for you to stay home.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Gee, do the rest of us get to vote on who to kick out (and keep out) of the country, too, Bryan? \u00a0Especially if we think that that such people are dangerous to our culture, and hold radical religious beliefs that can only end in tragedy for those who are around them or who listen to them and are sucked into their destructive ideologies? \u00a0 Because I can think of a few …<\/p>\n

Let me know, Bryan. \u00a0I have a lovely red suit …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Actually … I suppose, Bryan, that it makes sense to you that if All Muslims are Evil Terrorists Out to Destroy Our Culture and Pollute Our Precious Bodily Fluids, then we should simply require that all Muslims who are seeking to immigrate to this country should convert away from Islam — preferably to being “good” … Continue reading “NOBODY EXPECTS … Bryan Fischer to be a Dolt!”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20703,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[100,10,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20700","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dolts","category-geopolitical-brouhaha","category-religion"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/monty-python-spanish-inquisition.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":33615,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2013\/05\/06\/bryan-fischer-is-a-dolt-atheistic-counter-terrorism-disarmament-edition.html","url_meta":{"origin":20700,"position":0},"title":"Bryan Fischer is a Dolt (Atheistic Counter-Terrorism Disarmament Edition)","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 6-May-13 5:16pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Bryan Fischer is a Dolt (Atheistic Counter-Terrorism Disarmament Edition)The idea that Obama's about to open up a new front in some mythical War on Christianity by classifying all faithful Christians as terrorists in order to have the justification to take all their guns away ... well, is zany enough to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25073,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2012\/01\/04\/bryan-fischer-is-a-dolt-amateur-virologist-edition.html","url_meta":{"origin":20700,"position":1},"title":"Bryan Fischer is a Dolt (Amateur Virologist Edition)","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 4-Jan-12 2:39pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Yes, Bryan, that's right, it's all a huge conspiracy between money-grubbing research scientists and drug-abusing gays. I'm sure there are also some Muslims you can blame for AIDS, too, if you set your mind to it. Dolt. #ddtbReshared post from +David BadashSick. And, dangerous. Playing with lives. Totally irresponsible. Embedded\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20805,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2011\/04\/19\/bryan-fischer-is-a-dolt-spiritual-cooties-edition.html","url_meta":{"origin":20700,"position":2},"title":"Bryan Fischer Is a Dolt (Spiritual Cooties Edition)","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 19-Apr-11 5:20pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Bryan, why are you so afraid that Muslims are going to give Christian churches Allah Cooties? I would never participate in interfaith dialogue with a Muslim. That's not at all surprising, Bryan, after all the things you've said about them. You have all these Christians out there, these pastors, wonderful\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Dolts"","block_context":{"text":"Dolts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/dolts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/bryanfischer-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":49227,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2015\/01\/10\/bryan-fischer-is-a-dolt-blame-charlie-edition.html","url_meta":{"origin":20700,"position":3},"title":"Bryan Fischer is a Dolt: Blame Charlie Edition","author":"***Dave","date":"Sat 10-Jan-15 10:37am","format":false,"excerpt":"Bryan, all I have to say is that if God were actively orchestrating misfortune and\/or terrorists to punish those whose pride and perversity make a mockery of Christ ... you might be in a lot of trouble. Originally shared by +Ginny Gibbs: Bryan Fischer Is a Dolt: Hebdo BlasphemyHat tip\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":49408,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2015\/01\/28\/the-afa-has-belatedly-fired-bryan-fischer-dolt.html","url_meta":{"origin":20700,"position":4},"title":"The AFA has (belatedly) fired Bryan Fischer, Dolt","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 28-Jan-15 9:35pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Apparently some folk in Israel -- to which the American Family Association was paying for a trip by Reince Priebus and a large number of Republican National Committee members -- got a bit out of sorts when they discovered that the AFA's public face and \"Director of Issue Analysis\" was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23295,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2011\/11\/01\/bryan-fischer-is-a-dolt-no-really.html","url_meta":{"origin":20700,"position":5},"title":"Bryan Fischer is a Dolt. No, really","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 1-Nov-11 1:11am","format":false,"excerpt":"Dear Bryan. I don't \u201chate religious liberty\u201d or \u201chate freedom,\u201d I don't seek to \"destroy\" God's order or everything God is for, I don't get a \"malicious pleasure just destroying stuff,\" nor am I aware of some \"mindless, irrational, dark energy\" motivating me. Aside from that, Bryan, you're right about\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20700","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20700"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20700\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20703"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20700"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20700"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20700"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}