{"id":23700,"date":"2011-11-13T23:27:40","date_gmt":"2011-11-14T06:27:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2011\/11\/13\/sex-before-marriage.html"},"modified":"2011-11-14T06:49:19","modified_gmt":"2011-11-14T13:49:19","slug":"sex-before-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2011\/11\/13\/sex-before-marriage.html","title":{"rendered":"Sex Before Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

"In my opinion, our obsessive focus on virginity and sexual purity doesn\u2019t serve anyone. Losing one\u2019s virginity is not an event; it\u2019s a process. Similarly, weddings are events, and signing your marriage license is an event, but marriages are not events. They are processes."<\/i><\/p>\n

To my mind, the only key factor in "sex" prior to "marriage" (subject to definition of both terms) is the willingness to address responsibly and maturely any potential offspring of same. I.e., to my rather old-fashioned mind, once kids are involved, that becomes your number one commitment, other plans and expectations notwithstanding.<\/p>\n

Outside of that, it's subject to the same social rules and constructs that address any human relationship. Some of the consequences may be more intense, profound, even life-threatening than some other human relationship issues, but those are more difference sin degree, not in kind.<\/p>\n

(Note: None of the above applies to my daughter, who I expect will remain virginal and chaste until she is 30.)<\/p>\n

(Further Note: No, of course I don't. It's up to her. No matter what I say or do or preach.) #ddtb<\/p>\n

\n

Embedded Link<\/strong><\/p>\n

\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tdo you believe in saving sex for marriage? – John Green's tumblr<\/a>
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tAnonymous asked: do you believe in saving sex for marriage? Answer: I can\u2019t answer that question unless I answer the question of what constitutes marriage. And none of the definitions I have for…\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

"In my opinion, our obsessive focus on virginity and sexual purity doesn\u2019t serve anyone. Losing one\u2019s virginity is not an event; it\u2019s a process. Similarly, weddings are events, and signing your marriage license is an event, but marriages are not events. They are processes." To my mind, the only key factor in "sex" prior to … Continue reading “Sex Before Marriage”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[106,14,23],"tags":[107],"class_list":["post-23700","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-plusposts","category-love-and-marriage","category-parenting","tag-ddtb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12385,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2008\/05\/16\/more_on_the_california_ga.html","url_meta":{"origin":23700,"position":0},"title":"More on the California gay marriage ruling","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 16-May-08 8:50am","format":false,"excerpt":"Couple of good articles in the LA Times about the state supreme court decision yesterday that overturned the legal ban on gay marriage. It's an instant presidential campaign issue, for...","rel":"","context":"In "LGBTQ &c"","block_context":{"text":"LGBTQ &c","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/gay-stuff"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":46066,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2014\/10\/24\/marriage-is-not-property.html","url_meta":{"origin":23700,"position":1},"title":"Marriage is not property","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 24-Oct-14 11:01pm","format":false,"excerpt":"And we're not talking here about one spouse considering the other as property, but the argument that certain (straight) people own the concept of marriage, and have materially invested in it by getting married, and therefore anyone else who wants to play in the sandbox is not only trespassing but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":128299,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2015\/10\/13\/ben-carson-and-same-sex-marriage.html","url_meta":{"origin":23700,"position":2},"title":"Ben Carson and Same-Sex Marriage","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 13-Oct-15 5:12pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Carson's continued harping on marriage between same-sex couples is useful largely because he keeps saying such silly things. For example, from this interview:\"If you change the definition of marriage for one group, what defense do you have for the next group that comes along and wants it changed. Can you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51514,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2015\/06\/19\/on-the-choosing-of-appropriate-terms-around-marriage-equality.html","url_meta":{"origin":23700,"position":3},"title":"On the choosing of appropriate terms around "marriage equality"","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 19-Jun-15 10:41am","format":false,"excerpt":"It's not just a matter of so-called political correctness, but of conveying, accurately, what one means. As a cause, I prefer the term \"marriage equality,\" as that captures what is at the heart of the matter. When talking about the event, however, or the how to refer to the married\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13655,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2008\/10\/31\/mawwiage.html","url_meta":{"origin":23700,"position":4},"title":"“Mawwiage …”","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 31-Oct-08 12:22pm","format":false,"excerpt":"BD passes along this meme: Copy this sentence into your Livejournal\/Blog if you're in a heterosexual marriage, and you don't want it \"protected\" by the bigots who think that gay...","rel":"","context":"In "LGBTQ &c"","block_context":{"text":"LGBTQ &c","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/gay-stuff"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/images\/mawwiage.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10358,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2007\/02\/07\/the_logical_conclusion.html","url_meta":{"origin":23700,"position":5},"title":"The logical conclusion","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 7-Feb-07 8:25am","format":false,"excerpt":"Last year, the Wasington State Supreme Court ruled against gay marriages, ruling (reluctantly) in Andersen v. King County to uphold its state Defense of Marriage Act, asserting that the state...","rel":"","context":"In "LGBTQ &c"","block_context":{"text":"LGBTQ &c","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/gay-stuff"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23700","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23700"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23700\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23700"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23700"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23700"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}