{"id":25815,"date":"2012-01-29T13:03:20","date_gmt":"2012-01-29T20:03:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2012\/01\/29\/those-left-behind.html"},"modified":"2012-02-01T13:39:32","modified_gmt":"2012-02-01T20:39:32","slug":"those-left-behind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2012\/01\/29\/those-left-behind.html","title":{"rendered":"Those left behind"},"content":{"rendered":"

It would be very difficult to realize that you were not "compatible" with your current spouse in a very deep, profound way — e.g., in realizing (or accepting) that you're gay. No matter how you would deal with the situation, it would not be easy. Indeed, I suspect that, more than other sorts of marital breakups, it would be a lot harder, with the potential for a lot more heartbreak on all sides.<\/p>\n

Which is where the "it would be difficult" part of the equation would encompass the other half of the relationship, the straight spouse. I can't imagine how that<\/i> would feel. It would have all the "normal" trauma of a spouse leaving you, but with additional baggage of "Should I have known? Did I know? What will people say? " — perhaps combined with wanting to be happy for the ex finding a profound key to their own happiness, or feeling particularly betrayed or feeling a failure if you see homosexuality as something awful.<\/p>\n

It's good to hear that there is an organization out there specifically dedicated to helping such spouses left behind.<\/p>\n

Perhaps, in a world were homosexuality mustn't be kept a deep, dark, shameful secret, these sorts of breakups will be less common — and, when they happen, they won't be so uniquely traumatic. One can hope. #ddtb<\/p>\n

Reshared post from +David Badash<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Help for those who are often forgotten.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

Embedded Link<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n

\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tOn Our Radar \u2013 The Straight Spouse Network<\/a>
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tThe Straight Spouse Network helps you when your wife tells you over breakfast that she is in love with another woman, and she is moving her in and you out.\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It would be very difficult to realize that you were not "compatible" with your current spouse in a very deep, profound way — e.g., in realizing (or accepting) that you're gay. No matter how you would deal with the situation, it would not be easy. Indeed, I suspect that, more than other sorts of marital … Continue reading “Those left behind”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[106,25,14],"tags":[107],"class_list":["post-25815","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-plusposts","category-gay-stuff","category-love-and-marriage","tag-ddtb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":160999,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2026\/04\/08\/the-wheels-on-the-spouse-go-round-and-round.html","url_meta":{"origin":25815,"position":0},"title":"The Wheels on the Spouse Go Round and Round","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 8-Apr-26 3:41pm","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Mawwiage!\"","rel":"","context":"In "Love & Marriage"","block_context":{"text":"Love & Marriage","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal\/love-and-marriage"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/wedding-3.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/wedding-3.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/wedding-3.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/wedding-3.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/wedding-3.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/wedding-3.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3506,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/11\/05\/love_is_pain_sa.html","url_meta":{"origin":25815,"position":1},"title":"Love is pain, say scientists","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 5-Nov-02 3:23pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Ignoring the common convention that one's spouse is a pain in the neck, scientists have determined that actually spouses are pain in the back. I was going to write a...","rel":"","context":"In "Science & Nature"","block_context":{"text":"Science & Nature","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/science"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12417,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2008\/05\/10\/wordplay.html","url_meta":{"origin":25815,"position":2},"title":"Wordplay","author":"***Dave","date":"Sat 10-May-08 10:40am","format":false,"excerpt":"One of the side joys of having a spouse who enjoys wordplay, esp. of the bawdy kind, is that we can be having quite suggestive conversations and repartee without...","rel":"","context":"In "Love & Marriage"","block_context":{"text":"Love & Marriage","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal\/love-and-marriage"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/images\/nudge_nudge.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1947,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/04\/04\/a_different_twi.html","url_meta":{"origin":25815,"position":3},"title":"A different twist on traffic light cameras","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 4-Apr-02 9:29am","format":false,"excerpt":"Here's an amusing sidebar on the whole traffic ticket camera debate: what happens when the ticket, with photo, arrives at the violator's house, a spouse opens it, and sees the...","rel":"","context":"In "Politics & Law"","block_context":{"text":"Politics & Law","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/politics-law"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39251,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2013\/10\/20\/new-jersey-supreme-court-on-gay-marriage.html","url_meta":{"origin":25815,"position":4},"title":"New Jersey Supreme Court on gay marriage","author":"***Dave","date":"Sun 20-Oct-13 1:44pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Here are some excerpts from the ruling.What's interesting is something of a cascade effect. 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