{"id":3165,"date":"2002-07-30T07:06:16","date_gmt":"2002-07-30T12:06:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/?p=3165"},"modified":"2002-07-30T07:06:16","modified_gmt":"2002-07-30T12:06:16","slug":"parenting_quiz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/07\/30\/parenting_quiz.html","title":{"rendered":"Parenting Quiz"},"content":{"rendered":"
    \n
  1. You go upstairs to recover your daughter from her nap, only to discover that she’s made another stab at performance art, using her own bodily products as the materials, and the walls, door, bed and other furniture as her canvas. You …\n
      \n
    1. … explain in calm but firm tones that this is not acceptable behavior.\n
    2. … duct tape her to the potty while you clean up her room. Again.\n
    3. … call your spouse at work, informing said spouse in No Uncertain Terms that You Are Owed Big-Time For This.\n
    4. … apply for a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts.<\/ol>\n
    5. Your child awakens at 4 in the morning, expressing a desire to visit the potty. Suggestions that she use her own bathroom, rather than Mommy & Daddy’s bathroom, are met with agonizing wails best suited for the tortured souls of the damned. You …<\/p>\n
        \n
      1. … insist that she use the potty in her own bathroom.\n
      2. … wince at the too-loud-too-early and cave in to her demands.\n
      3. … lock her in her room with a potty seat.\n
      4. … stand there confused for a while, wondering what the hell you’re doing up at this ungodly hour.<\/ol>\n
      5. You are running some errands, and your toddler has decided that the Bestest Game is to Run Away As Fast As She Can, Preferably Toward That Glassware Over There. You …<\/p>\n
          \n
        1. … catch her and hold her tight, giving her a Time Out in your arms.\n
        2. … catch her and storm out of the store, fuming like Vesuvius.\n
        3. … catch her and duct tape her into the shopping cart.\n
        4. … gaze lovingly upon her as she wreaks havoc, marveling at her independent spirit and irrepressable scaliwaginess.<\/ol>\n
        5. You stub your toe something godawful and, restraining the natural cursing that would follow, explain to your toddler that you have a boo-boo. She kisses it and gives you a hug. You …<\/p>\n
            \n
          1. … wince as she steps on your sore toe.\n
          2. … point out rather peevishly that you stubbed your toe on some toy she left out.\n
          3. … point out that kissing boo-boos is likely to spread germs to any wound there.\n
          4. … count yourself the luckiest parent in the world, regardless of #1-3.<\/ol>\n<\/ol>\n

            Check back in twenty years for the scoring.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

            You go upstairs to recover your daughter from her nap, only to discover that she’s made another stab at performance art, using her own bodily products as the materials, and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3165","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4273,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/10\/02\/the_pitter_patt.html","url_meta":{"origin":3165,"position":0},"title":"The pitter-patter","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 2-Oct-03 11:08am","format":false,"excerpt":"For the last two nights, Katherine has come to visit us. Night before last, it was around 2:30a. She wanted assistance in going potty. A while later, she came back,...","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal\/parenting"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2701,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/05\/14\/topical_songwri.html","url_meta":{"origin":3165,"position":1},"title":"Topical songwriting","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 14-May-02 10:08pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Here we sit on the potty, The potty, The potty, Here we sit on the potty, Tinkle, Tinkle, Plop!...","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal\/parenting"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":185,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/06\/03\/push_coming_to.html","url_meta":{"origin":3165,"position":2},"title":"Push coming to shove","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 3-Jun-03 7:27am","format":false,"excerpt":"Katherine, over the past six months or so, has shown an on-again, off-again mild interest in potty training. 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She seems to be (knock on wood!) pretty well potty trained, praise the Maker. While we still bug her about hitting...","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal\/parenting"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4508,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/08\/18\/new_routines.html","url_meta":{"origin":3165,"position":5},"title":"New routines","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 18-Aug-03 9:59am","format":false,"excerpt":"Life with Kitten has been fairly routine. There have been small evolutions over time -- potty training being a big one, along with procedural mods as she's become Far Too...","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal\/parenting"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3165","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3165"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3165\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3165"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3165"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3165"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}