{"id":3375,"date":"2002-12-09T15:09:57","date_gmt":"2002-12-09T20:09:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/?p=3375"},"modified":"2014-12-09T18:02:20","modified_gmt":"2014-12-10T01:02:20","slug":"daves_five_rule","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/12\/09\/daves_five_rule.html","title":{"rendered":"Dave’s Five Rules for Walking Around a Theme Park in the Rain"},"content":{"rendered":"
    \n
  1. Nobody looks good in a rain poncho<\/b>. Not even Raquel Welch. Well, maybe Raquel Welch, if it were just<\/i> a rain poncho. Wet. Inside and out.\n

    Ahem.<\/p>\n

    Where was I? Oh, yeah. Rain ponchos are intended to drape, and they do so with all the elegance of dropcloths, especially when you stuff a purse, diaper bag, shopping bag, fanny pack, camera bag, etc., underneath it. Just accept that you’re going to look like a shambling mound and get on with life.<\/p>\n

  2. There is always a puddle, right there<\/i><\/b>. No matter how carefully crafted the grounds, how expert the architects and engineers, there will always be a puddle between you and where you want to go. And your daughter will step in it — wade in it — stop still in it.<\/p>\n
  3. Umbrellas are a cruel joke<\/b>. They keep the rain off your head. Usually. But that’s it. The rest of you will get wet. Badly.<\/p>\n
  4. The ride you want to go on will be called because of weather<\/b>. There is a 25% chance that the ride you really want to go on will be closed for repairs, refurbishment, or replacement when you arrive. Rain makes that spike up to 75%.<\/p>\n
  5. Every roof leaks<\/b>. Especially the one you’re in line under. And the leak is right there, where you’re going to walk. Deal with it.<\/p>\n
  6. EXTRA BONUS RULE<\/i>. There is no silver lining<\/b>. While rain dramatically cuts down on the number of people at the park, you still don’t see any more or go any faster. That’s because (a) everyone half as fast slogging through the rain and puddles (see #2). And (b) everyone takes up the volume of four people because of umbrellas, ponchos, and other weather gear (see #1). So weather would have to reduce the crowds by 87.5% to make it any easier — and if the weather gets that bad, they’ll shut down the park (see #4)<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Nobody looks good in a rain poncho. Not even Raquel Welch. Well, maybe Raquel Welch, if it were just a rain poncho. Wet. Inside and out. Ahem. Where was I?…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[26,50,749],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-travel","category-travel-wdw-02","category-weather-and-seasons"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12661,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2008\/03\/03\/all_my_bags_are_packed.html","url_meta":{"origin":3375,"position":0},"title":"All my bags are packed …","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 3-Mar-08 5:57am","format":false,"excerpt":"In a big and little bag, with room for any swag acquired. Little bag goes on with me, and include essentials in case big bag doesn't make it on...","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging & Internet"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging & Internet","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27317,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2012\/04\/03\/one-million-years-b-c.html","url_meta":{"origin":3375,"position":1},"title":"One Million Years B.C.!","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 3-Apr-12 9:37pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Must have been Raquel Welch. She was smokin'! #ddtbReshared post from +Brandon SergentAwesome. Embedded Link Scientists find evidence that human ancestors used fire one million years ago An international team led by the University of Toronto and Hebrew University has identified the earliest known evidence of the use of fire\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3377,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/12\/09\/a_mickey_mouse.html","url_meta":{"origin":3375,"position":2},"title":"A Mickey Mouse Vacation","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 9-Dec-02 2:48pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Well, we made it. No security hassle (well, I was searched at the security checkpoint, but they were so professional and nice, it didn't bother me -- there's a lesson...","rel":"","context":"In "Disney\/Pixar"","block_context":{"text":"Disney\/Pixar","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/media\/franchises\/disney"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":45663,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2014\/10\/06\/in-glasgow-mid-cold-and-rain.html","url_meta":{"origin":3375,"position":3},"title":"In Glasgow, mid cold and rain….","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 6-Oct-14 1:07am","format":false,"excerpt":"In Glasgow, mid cold and rain. Early morning, so waiting on room to be ready.","rel":"","context":"In "~Tweets"","block_context":{"text":"~Tweets","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/tweets"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17623,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2010\/06\/17\/savanna-with-rain.html","url_meta":{"origin":3375,"position":4},"title":"Savanna (with rain)","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 17-Jun-10 1:20pm","format":false,"excerpt":"The view from our room at Animal Kingdom Lodge.","rel":"","context":"In "Disney\/Pixar"","block_context":{"text":"Disney\/Pixar","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/media\/franchises\/disney"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9694,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2006\/05\/09\/video_fun.html","url_meta":{"origin":3375,"position":5},"title":"Video fun","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 9-May-06 2:24pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Radar track of FedEx planes flying into Memphis, dodging a thunderstorm front, like ants crawling around a puddle ... The dispersion of WalMart, like a plague of locusts across the...","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3375"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3375\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48783,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3375\/revisions\/48783"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}