{"id":350,"date":"2003-04-30T06:47:52","date_gmt":"2003-04-30T11:47:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/?p=350"},"modified":"2003-04-30T06:47:52","modified_gmt":"2003-04-30T11:47:52","slug":"s_h_o_pp_ing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/04\/30\/s_h_o_pp_ing.html","title":{"rendered":"S-H-O-PP-ING"},"content":{"rendered":"

Shopping with Kitten<\/s> Gnat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the boddle <\/i>stow,\u201d said Gnat as we walked inside. She was fascinated by the beer cooler – the dark depths beyond, the distant music playing from a boombox, the hum of the chillers, the neat rows of bottles stretching up to the sky. I bought my usual potion – James Page Pale Ale – and we went to check out. En route she found a bottle of wine, picked it up and staggered along behind me. Very Dickensian, in a way; I should have drawn myself up to my full height and shouted \u201cmake haste, or tonight the lumps in your gruel shall be moving again!\u201d
\nWe put the bottle back. I paid for the beer, turned around, and found her holding a can of Red Bull in each hand. Energy drinks. Oh, she needs that. Why not just put a box of Lucky Charms in the blender, add chocolate milk, six cups of sugar and pump it in a vein?
\nOff to Target. I needed the wide-mouth refills for the Diaper Genie. If you don\u2019t know what I mean, be grateful.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shopping with Kitten Gnat: \u201cIt\u2019s the boddle stow,\u201d said Gnat as we walked inside. She was fascinated by the beer cooler – the dark depths beyond, the distant music playing…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1586,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2001\/12\/07\/rpo_redux.html","url_meta":{"origin":350,"position":0},"title":"RPO Redux","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 7-Dec-01 10:49am","format":false,"excerpt":"The Bleat talks today about (among other things) Rolie Polie Olie. And as I mentioned before, it\u2019s set to great music - the theme makes Gnat dance, and the last...","rel":"","context":"In "Media & Culture"","block_context":{"text":"Media & Culture","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/media"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1516,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2001\/12\/18\/blorch.html","url_meta":{"origin":350,"position":1},"title":"Blorch","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 18-Dec-01 10:35am","format":false,"excerpt":"Katherine has, of a mercy, never much been one for throwing up, spitting up, or otherwise spewing. James Lilek's \"Gnat,\" on the other hand, has no such compunctions. (To the...","rel":"","context":"In "Potpourri"","block_context":{"text":"Potpourri","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/potpourri"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3435,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/11\/22\/generations.html","url_meta":{"origin":350,"position":2},"title":"Generations","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 22-Nov-02 6:45am","format":false,"excerpt":"This is so happening in my house. I guarantee it. For reasons I'll never know, my dad picked up a routine from Snuffles, a cartoon dog in a cheap mid-60s...","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal\/parenting"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1344,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/01\/22\/more_bleaty_goo.html","url_meta":{"origin":350,"position":3},"title":"More bleaty goodness","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 22-Jan-02 11:16am","format":false,"excerpt":"James Lileks has a 17-month-old. The developmental differences with Katherine are minimal enough to be highly, ah, amusing. Gnat has begun to wake a little earlier than usual, by which...","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal\/parenting"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3262,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/01\/06\/reference.html","url_meta":{"origin":350,"position":4},"title":"Reference","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 6-Jan-03 9:58am","format":false,"excerpt":"I haven't linked to a Lileks column recently. That's become sort of passe in the blogosphere -- it's simply assumed that everyone pulls up Lileks' Bleat column on a daily...","rel":"","context":"In "Geopolitical Brouhaha"","block_context":{"text":"Geopolitical Brouhaha","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/geopolitical-brouhaha"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":390,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/04\/24\/the_cookie.html","url_meta":{"origin":350,"position":5},"title":"The Cookie","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 24-Apr-03 8:46am","format":false,"excerpt":"A tale that will sound familiar to any parent, courtesy of Lileks: Finish your milk. Cookie. Milk. COOKIE! I picked up the cookie. \"Finish your milk, or I'll eat the...","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal\/parenting"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=350"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}