{"id":48711,"date":"2014-12-08T09:40:26","date_gmt":"2014-12-08T16:40:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2014\/12\/08\/on-being-a-nice-guy.html"},"modified":"2014-12-15T08:07:02","modified_gmt":"2014-12-15T15:07:02","slug":"on-being-a-nice-guy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2014\/12\/08\/on-being-a-nice-guy.html","title":{"rendered":"On Being a Nice Guy"},"content":{"rendered":"

I like to think I'm a Nice Guy. Indeed, it shows up on various social media profiles about myself. <\/p>\n

The article below (via +<\/span>George Wiman<\/a><\/span>) is a challenge to this designation as something to be proud of. George and I have been chatting a bit on the subject on his original post, and the thinking there got deep and reflective enough that it's worth my summing up my thinking on the matter here.<\/p>\n

The article details some cases and individuals — Martin Luther King, Jr, for one — decrying "niceness" and one frequent interpretation of it: that to be nice is to not rock the boat, to not upset others, to not yell too loudly or block traffic or make people uncomfortable. To be nice, in this model, is to seek order, peace and quiet, politeness, predictably pleasant and unchallenging social interactions.<\/p>\n

Now there's a certain amount of space where that's valuable. Not shoving your way into line, not flipping off people who are not letting you drive as fast as you want, tailoring messages to catch folk with honey rather than vinegar — all of that keeps us in a tolerable social setting.<\/p>\n

But it can, in fact, be a trap. It tells to the protester of injustice, "Be quiet. People are sleeping. Don't make anyone angry. Don't make waves. Follow channels. Be nice."<\/p>\n

Which may be what some folk want to have happen with some social protest movements of today, but which tactics would not have served the Founding Fathers very well. Patrick Henry, Ben Franklin, John Adams, and the rest, were not "nice" in this way. Indeed, a lot of debate was held about to what degree to be "nice" to the British in the face of what were seen as intolerable violations of liberty and local sovereignty. If the Founders had just worked through channels, not rocked the boat, not gotten anyone upset … we might be Canada.<\/p>\n

(Not that there's anything wrong with Canada, mind you.)<\/p>\n

When being "nice" is a way of shutting down conversation, of telling the victims of injustice to just suck it up because people don't want to listen to their complaining — when it is actually another word for denial<\/i> — or cowardice<\/i> — then being "nice" is not a virtue, but a vice.<\/p>\n

There are times, yes, when you attract more flies with honey than vinegar. But there are times that cry out for vinegar to make people blink their eyes and see what's going on.<\/p>\n

But "niceness" can have another component or tack: call it kindness<\/i> or compassion.<\/i> To be "nice" is to think of others, not just yourself. To be aware of others' burdens and to offer to help. To not just seek to solve social unpleasantness by quieting everyone down, but to actually solve<\/i> it (with, one hopes, only the most necessary of shouting).<\/p>\n

I hope when I am "Mr. Nice Guy," it's more in this latter sense than the former. Politeness and social order is generally useful, but there are times when it's not<\/i> useful — and prioritizing them becomes less of a virtue than a vice.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n
\n
\n<\/a>
\nNice Is the New Civil<\/a><\/span>
\nWords written over fifty years ago (boldface mine): First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettabl…\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

View on Google+<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I like to think I'm a Nice Guy. Indeed, it shows up on various social media profiles about myself. The article below (via +George Wiman) is a challenge to this designation as something to be proud of. George and I have been chatting a bit on the subject on his original post, and the thinking … Continue reading “On Being a Nice Guy”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[106,4,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48711","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-plusposts","category-personal","category-zt-pc"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":39955,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2013\/12\/09\/a-superman-movie-id-like-to-see.html","url_meta":{"origin":48711,"position":0},"title":"A Superman movie I'd like to see","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 9-Dec-13 10:05pm","format":false,"excerpt":"The challenge is not for Clark. It's for Jonathan and Martha.Reshared post from +George WimanDid you see Man Of Steel? Here's the Superman movie I wish they had made instead\u00a0\ufeff How to make an interesting movie about Superman Superman - you know him, right? Super-powerful, super-nice guy. He's so super\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33730,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2013\/05\/13\/do-the-robot.html","url_meta":{"origin":48711,"position":1},"title":"Do the Robot!","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 13-May-13 9:50pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Nice article (with some great sound\/video clips). But no mention of Robbie? \u00a0Or (just) The Robot? \u00a0Oh, the pain!Reshared post from +George WimanFor extra nerd points, what's the connection between Rossum's Universal Robots and Batman?\u00a0http:\/\/www.motherjones.com\/media\/2013\/05\/robots-modern-unimate-watson-roomba-timeline A Brief History of Awesome Robots From futuristic cities to a 1980s Chinese restaurant, a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42509,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2014\/06\/11\/because-i-am-mr-nice-guy.html","url_meta":{"origin":48711,"position":2},"title":"Because I am Mr. Nice Guy","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 11-Jun-14 3:43pm","format":false,"excerpt":"I really wouldn't wish anything horrible or damaging or destructive on the people who really torque me off. \u00a0But this list? \u00a0Yeah, I think I can morally kink my way around it.(original\u00a0http:\/\/thedoghousediaries.com\/5636)\ufeff View this post on Google+","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-02-12-e857c13%5B1%5D.png.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":136828,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2018\/06\/23\/george-will-is-voting-for-democrats-in-congress-this-fall.html","url_meta":{"origin":48711,"position":3},"title":"George Will is voting for Democrats in Congress this fall","author":"***Dave","date":"Sat 23-Jun-18 4:27pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Will is often too in love with his own voice, and I disagree profoundly with him on so many policy matters, which he casts out like pearls before swine, giving erudite essays that tend toward heartlessness.But apparently he's finally had enough.\u275d Amid the carnage of Republican misrule in Washington, there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9726,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2006\/05\/02\/room_with_a_vie.html","url_meta":{"origin":48711,"position":4},"title":"Room with a view","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 2-May-06 10:42am","format":false,"excerpt":"Not quite as nice as some have, but plenty of green. Plus, I can see the burrito guy on the way in ... this post enabled by airblogging.com....","rel":"","context":"In "Job Jollies"","block_context":{"text":"Job Jollies","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/job-jollies"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/\/images\/f0252ae352.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7193,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2004\/10\/11\/distorted_words.html","url_meta":{"origin":48711,"position":5},"title":"Distorted words","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 11-Oct-04 1:40pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Nice article here about how the GOP campaign has seized on certain words and phrases by Kerry, out of context, to distort his message (or to reinforce their own) in...","rel":"","context":"In "Elections 2004"","block_context":{"text":"Elections 2004","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/politics-law\/elections-2004"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48711","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48711"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48711\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48953,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48711\/revisions\/48953"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48711"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48711"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48711"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}