Three men die and meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.<\/p>\n
“In honor of this holy season,” St. Peter says, “you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into Heaven.”<\/p>\n
The first man thinks a few moments, then fumbles through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicks it on and announces, “It’s a candle.” <\/p>\n
“You may pass through the Pearly Gates,” St. Peter tells him.<\/p>\n
The second man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a set of keys. He shakes them and says, “Listen, they’re bells.” <\/p>\n
St. Peter smiles and nods. “You may pass through the Pearly Gates.”<\/p>\n
The third man had been searching desperately through his own pockets. Finally, he finds something, grins, and pulls out a pair of women’s panties. <\/p>\n
St. Peter looks at the man with a raised eyebrow and asks, “And just what do those <\/i>symbolize?”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The man replies, “They’re Carols.”<\/p>\n
(via my folks)<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Three men die and meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. “In honor of this holy season,” St. Peter says, “you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4960","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8689,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2005\/09\/06\/the_gospel_acco.html","url_meta":{"origin":4960,"position":0},"title":"The Gospel According to St Hagrid","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 6-Sep-05 2:04pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Things Hagrid the Half-Giant Would Say if He Served Jesus Instead of Harry Potter: \"Why, if a fellow wanted ta get away clean, Peter-me-lad, all they'd have ter do would...","rel":"","context":"In "Harry Potter"","block_context":{"text":"Harry Potter","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/media\/franchises\/harry-potter"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11379,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2007\/09\/10\/potpourri_for_the_feast_o-6.html","url_meta":{"origin":4960,"position":1},"title":"Potpourri for the Feast of St Cosmas","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 10-Sep-07 1:41pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Who was St Cosmas? Run your favorite web page through the Dialectizer and see how it reads in Redneck, Jive, Cockney, etc. (via Randy) Because what the world needs...","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging & Internet"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging & Internet","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/images\/potpourri.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7646,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2005\/01\/21\/oops_2.html","url_meta":{"origin":4960,"position":2},"title":"Oops","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 21-Jan-05 8:31pm","format":false,"excerpt":"No seat allocated. You are going to burn in HELL! (probably) Oh well. Christians! - Have you ever wondered if you will make it into heaven? Well now you can...","rel":"","context":"In "Personality Tests"","block_context":{"text":"Personality Tests","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal\/personality-tests"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3896,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/03\/17\/st_patrick.html","url_meta":{"origin":4960,"position":3},"title":"St. Patrick","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 17-Mar-03 9:34am","format":false,"excerpt":"Back when I was a school kid, St Patrick's Day was Very Important. We knew it was important, because it was the focus of many weeks (two or three) of...","rel":"","context":"In "Personal"","block_context":{"text":"Personal","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/personal"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42110,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2014\/05\/20\/when-i-was-hungry-you-fed-me.html","url_meta":{"origin":4960,"position":4},"title":""When I was hungry, you fed me"","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 20-May-14 10:46pm","format":false,"excerpt":"This evening, the vestry from my parish did their annual service at St Clare's Ministries just south of downtown Denver. This is an adjunct building to the (Episcopal) Church of St Peter & St Mary, where once a week they open the doors to feed as many homeless and impoverished\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16887,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2010\/03\/10\/tweets-from-2010-03-10.html","url_meta":{"origin":4960,"position":5},"title":"Tweets from 2010-03-10","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 10-Mar-10 11:30pm","format":false,"excerpt":"I keep thinking I need to create a Twitter account and setup for Margie, so she can at least follow along all the droll tweet threads. # Love pearly blue-gray light of pre-dawn gracing my office arrival this week. Just in time for Daylight Saving Time (ugh) this weekend. #\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~Tweets"","block_context":{"text":"~Tweets","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/tweets"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4960","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4960"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4960\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4960"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4960"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4960"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}