{"id":5680,"date":"2004-01-26T15:24:19","date_gmt":"2004-01-26T22:24:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/2004\/01\/26\/i-waste-him-with-my-allen-wrench.html"},"modified":"2004-01-26T15:24:19","modified_gmt":"2004-01-26T22:24:19","slug":"i_waste_him_wit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2004\/01\/26\/i_waste_him_wit.html","title":{"rendered":"I waste him with my Allen wrench!"},"content":{"rendered":"

A computer game walk-thru is a narrative of the game, level by level, room by room, with advice on what you’ll encounter and what to be sure to do. It’s useful if you find youself stuck on a game level without a clue as to how to proceed.<\/p>\n

IKEA is a Swedish furnishings company with multiple levels, lots of show rooms, and stores scattered across the US (except the Denver area).<\/p>\n

Put ’em together, and you’ve got <\/a> …<\/p>\n

You start this world armed only with a UNIVERSAL FURNITURE-ASSEMBLY ALLEN WRENCH. This is the weakest weapon in IKEA: You will have to hit a person 16 times with it to kill them. So your primary goal in this level is to find more lethal means of dispatching your enemies.
\nAs you enter the SHOWROOM, perform a rolling dodge to the left. Grab a free PAPER TAPE MEASURE and a handful of IKEA EMBLAZONED GOLF PENCILS from the kiosk near the entryway. The PENCILS serve quite well as ranged weapons, but it will take some time to master their use. Before venturing further in the world, stand at the kiosk and practice hurling GOLF PENCILS at patrons as they enter the SHOWROOM. Remember: Hitting the eyes does triple damage.
\nNow make your way into the main SHOWROOM, using the PAPER TAPE MEASURE to throttle anyone who blocks your path.
\nAs you enter the main area, you will see an EKHARD oiled solid-oak dining sideboard. Quickly kick it apart to acquire the TABLE LEG WITH NAIL.<\/p>\n

(via Doyce<\/a>)<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A computer game walk-thru is a narrative of the game, level by level, room by room, with advice on what you’ll encounter and what to be sure to do. 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(I got a 64%, but I'm sure she'll do better.) #ddtb Embedded Link IKEA or Cheese? Online Quiz - Mental Floss How well do you know IKEA or Cheese?? Take the free online quiz on Mental Floss to find out.","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41374,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2014\/03\/09\/sci-fi-ikea-manuals.html","url_meta":{"origin":5680,"position":2},"title":"Sci-Fi Ikea Manuals","author":"***Dave","date":"Sun 9-Mar-14 12:19pm","format":false,"excerpt":"These have been around a few years, but they're still darned funny. \u00a0I particularly enjoy the piece list for the TARDIS.\ufeff Sci-Fi Ikea Manuals \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 View this post on Google+","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":136208,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2018\/05\/03\/swedish-meatballs-are-originally-from-turkey.html","url_meta":{"origin":5680,"position":3},"title":"Swedish Meatballs are originally from … Turkey?","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 3-May-18 7:53pm","format":false,"excerpt":"And, no, I'm not saying that Swedish Meatballs should be made with ground turkey (though I'm not saying they shouldn't be). But there's a good historical case to be made that Swedish Meatballs were actually introduced to Sweden by Charles XII in the 18th Century after a lengthy stay amongst\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/swedish-meatball.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":33694,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2013\/05\/10\/done-with-this-quarters-ikea.html","url_meta":{"origin":5680,"position":4},"title":"Done with this quarter’s IKEA …","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 10-May-13 3:44pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Done with this quarter's IKEA Death March. Time for some aquavit.","rel":"","context":"In "~Tweets"","block_context":{"text":"~Tweets","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/tweets"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10997,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2007\/04\/30\/coming_soon_to_a_vacant_l.html","url_meta":{"origin":5680,"position":5},"title":"Coming Soon to a Vacant Lot Near You!","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 30-Apr-07 9:47am","format":false,"excerpt":"Big Box Watch, tracking where new \"big box\" stores are in the works around the US.\u00a0 Currently tracks Best Buy, Home Depot, Ikea, JCPenney, Kohl's, Lowe's, Target, and Wal-Mart\u00a0....","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/images\/bigboxwatch.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5680","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5680"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5680\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5680"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5680"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5680"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}