{"id":6406,"date":"2004-09-07T20:54:13","date_gmt":"2004-09-08T03:54:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/2004\/09\/07\/if-martha-stewart-were-a-comic-book-character.html"},"modified":"2004-09-07T20:54:13","modified_gmt":"2004-09-08T03:54:13","slug":"if_martha_stewa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2004\/09\/07\/if_martha_stewa.html","title":{"rendered":"If Martha Stewart Were a Comic Book Character"},"content":{"rendered":"

From the Top5<\/a> Little Fivers<\/a> Comics list:<\/p>\n

The Top 9 Differences If Martha Stewart Were a Comic Book Super Hero\/Villain<\/strong>
\n9. Pym Particles would come in 12 designer colors.
\n8. “With great power comes great responsibility, made out of leftover oven mitts and decorated with bit of lace recycled from a wedding dress.”
\n7. Laser eye-beam-carved ice sculptures.
\n6. She’d be the only JLA hero capable of freaking out Batman.
\n5. “Decorative ceramic tiles on your doomsday device will brighten up your entire evil lair.”
\n4. “Bring your organic steel skin to a healthy glimmer with ordinary household ingredients.”
\n3. “Skulls of vanquished foes can be used as decorative centerpieces during Thanksgiving.”
\n2. Martha: Not just cleaning up crime, but decorating it with festive garlands!
\nand the Number 1 Difference If Martha Stewart Were a Comic Book Super Hero\/Villain… <\/em>
\n1. Giant orbiting death ray replaced with a *really* big hot glue gun.
\n(via Marc Berard, Central Falls, RI (1, 2); Erik Deckers, Syracuse, IN (3, 4, 7); Jeremy Bleichman, Fair Lawn, NJ (5); Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina (6); Dave Hill<\/strong>, Centennial, CO (8); Craig Israel, Cleveland, OH (9); Andrew Jones, Brisbane, Australia (Topic)<\/small><\/p>\n

And from the runners up …<\/p>\n

More ecru, less solitude in the Arctic fortress. (Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina)<\/small>
\n“Green” Lantern? I think not. Try “Spring Moss with undertones of Burnt Sienna” Lantern! (Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)<\/small>
\n“The joes of Easy Company were getting anxious for action, so I set them to the task of crocheting new ammo belts for Bulldozer’s spring ensemble.” (Ibid.)<\/small>
\n“When I have defeated the Fantastic Four and made doilies out of their worthless hides, then all Latveria will cry, ‘It is a good thing!’ Doom has spoken!” (Ibid.)<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From the Top5 Little Fivers Comics list: The Top 9 Differences If Martha Stewart Were a Comic Book Super Hero\/Villain 9. Pym Particles would come in 12 designer colors. 8….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6406","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-media-comics","category-jokes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3102,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2002\/08\/08\/poor_martha.html","url_meta":{"origin":6406,"position":0},"title":"Poor Martha","author":"***Dave","date":"Thu 8-Aug-02 4:27pm","format":false,"excerpt":"The Feds seem to have their cross-hairs on Martha Stewart. Now, I love a good Martha Stewart joke as much as the next guy -- indeed, probably moreso. But I...","rel":"","context":"In "Media Moguls"","block_context":{"text":"Media Moguls","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/media\/media-moguls"},"img":{"alt_text":"Get Martha!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cbsnews.com\/images\/2002\/07\/02\/image514013l.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":148,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/06\/09\/nailing_martha.html","url_meta":{"origin":6406,"position":1},"title":"Nailing Martha","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 9-Jun-03 7:28am","format":false,"excerpt":"I love Martha Stewart-bashing as much as the next person. 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It's at desperate times like this that just what they need is a story about...","rel":"","context":"In "Fourth Estate"","block_context":{"text":"Fourth Estate","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/media\/fourth-estate"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7997,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2005\/07\/05\/attica_attica_a.html","url_meta":{"origin":6406,"position":3},"title":"ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 5-Jul-05 2:56pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Martha Stewart continues to defy any efforts to actually garner some sympathy for what many think was a dubious conviction by complaining bitterly over the conditions of her probation and...","rel":"","context":"In "Politics & Law"","block_context":{"text":"Politics & Law","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/politics-law"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5049,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/11\/11\/the_lesson_for.html","url_meta":{"origin":6406,"position":4},"title":"The Lesson for today …","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 11-Nov-03 8:20am","format":false,"excerpt":"The Parable of Jesus, Mary, and Martha Stewart Living Now it came to pass as they went past the flea markets and the tag sales where the furniture that is...","rel":"","context":"In "Potpourri"","block_context":{"text":"Potpourri","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/potpourri"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":138009,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2019\/03\/01\/dude-its-a-good-thing.html","url_meta":{"origin":6406,"position":5},"title":"Dude, it’s a GOOD thing!","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 1-Mar-19 8:39pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Martha Stewart is getting into ... the pot business? Lifestyle authority and television personality\u00a0Martha Stewart\u00a0has entered a business partnership with\u00a0Canopy Growth, one of the globe's largest marijuana producers, to develop hemp-derived CBD products.\u00a0Stewart will play an advisory role at Canopy and will assist in developing a broad new line of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Martha-Stewart-and-Snoop-Dogg.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Martha-Stewart-and-Snoop-Dogg.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Martha-Stewart-and-Snoop-Dogg.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6406","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6406"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6406\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6406"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6406"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6406"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}