{"id":6697,"date":"2004-07-31T11:16:14","date_gmt":"2004-07-31T18:16:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/2004\/07\/31\/todays-joke-2.html"},"modified":"2004-07-31T11:16:14","modified_gmt":"2004-07-31T18:16:14","slug":"todays_joke_2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2004\/07\/31\/todays_joke_2.html","title":{"rendered":"Today’s joke"},"content":{"rendered":"

From the Top5.com Little Fivers “Internet” list<\/a>, it’s … <\/p>\n

The Top 9 Signs You’re Addicted to eBay<\/strong>
\n9> Every time you go to the grocery store, you offer the cashier one cent more for each item in the cart of the person in front of you.
\n8> To cut costs, FedEx and UPS are considering relocating their operations centers to your house.
\n7> Sitting on the floor of your empty apartment, you stare at your fingers and wonder whether they’ll sell better individually or as a matched set.
\n6> Your spouse is loving and caring but you decided to file for divorce because you need the storage space.
\n5> You’re the reason they adopted the “No selling your children’s vital organs” policy.
\n4> You find yourself searching eBay auctions for milk, eggs and bread.
\n3> When your wife agrees to have sex with you, you become suspicious and ask how many other bidders there were.
\n2> Just ask your kids, eRay and eFaye.
\nand the Number 1 Sign You’re Addicted to eBay …<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

1> After a particularly passionate night, you lean over and whisper in your spouse’s ear, “Excellent service, great communication! Would recommend again! AAAA++++”<\/p>\n

Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 1, 3; Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 1, 9; Chris Lipe, Rome, NY — 2; Bruce Kane, Bentonville, AR — 4; Matt Van Opens, Kenosha, WI — 5; Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 6, Topic; Doug Crews, San Diego, CA — 7; RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS — 8; Chuck Burke, Phoenix, NY — 8; Julie Nusbaum, Hamilton IN — 8; Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator. Copyright 2004 by Chris White All rights reserved. Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use in any manner without crediting “TopFive.com<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From the Top5.com Little Fivers “Internet” list, it’s … The Top 9 Signs You’re Addicted to eBay 9> Every time you go to the grocery store, you offer the cashier…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6697","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9435,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2006\/07\/07\/predatory.html","url_meta":{"origin":6697,"position":0},"title":"Predatory","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 7-Jul-06 7:50am","format":false,"excerpt":"For all the criticism of Google \"unfairly\" leveraging its search and AdWords functionality to make Google Checkout so attractive, I'm amused that eBay -- which owns PayPal, seen as the...","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12338,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2008\/05\/27\/first_sale_and_software.html","url_meta":{"origin":6697,"position":1},"title":"First Sale and Software","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 27-May-08 12:22pm","format":false,"excerpt":"When you buy a book from a book store, the publisher loses all rights as to whom (or whether) you sell it in the future.\u00a0That refers to the \"First Sale\"...","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":127890,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2015\/09\/05\/reminiscing-about-the-x-15.html","url_meta":{"origin":6697,"position":2},"title":"Reminiscing about the X-15","author":"***Dave","date":"Sat 5-Sep-15 5:53am","format":false,"excerpt":"No, not that X-15. This X-15 -- a tricycle from Mattel in the early 60s (named after the famous test aircraft, https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/North_American_X-15). I actually had one of these as a kid, and it was awesome. There was a \"vroom\" sound effect when the front wheel was turned, and the joystick\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8693,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2005\/09\/06\/take_a_number.html","url_meta":{"origin":6697,"position":3},"title":"Take a number","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 6-Sep-05 12:17pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Amazon, eBay, and PayPal don't publish their customer service phone numbers online. But that doesn't mean you can't call them....","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6574,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2004\/08\/17\/behaving_differ.html","url_meta":{"origin":6697,"position":4},"title":"Behaving differently","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 17-Aug-04 7:19am","format":false,"excerpt":"The Register has a run-down on XP SP2 problems, including programs that run into firewall problems, programs that \"behave differently,\" eBay issues, and more. Holding off for a while seems...","rel":"","context":"In "Hi-Tech"","block_context":{"text":"Hi-Tech","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/hi-tech"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4978,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/11\/21\/all_your_e_comm.html","url_meta":{"origin":6697,"position":5},"title":"All your e-commerce are belong to us!","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 21-Nov-03 10:22am","format":false,"excerpt":"AT&T has a patent on e-commerce. That seems to be the gist of its law suit yesterday against PayPal and eBay. AT&T alleges that, through the use of their online...","rel":"","context":"In "Hi-Tech"","block_context":{"text":"Hi-Tech","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/hi-tech"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6697","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6697"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6697\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6697"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6697"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6697"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}