{"id":6719,"date":"2004-07-28T18:36:37","date_gmt":"2004-07-29T01:36:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/2004\/07\/28\/your-religious-joke-for-today.html"},"modified":"2004-07-28T18:36:37","modified_gmt":"2004-07-29T01:36:37","slug":"your_religious","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2004\/07\/28\/your_religious.html","title":{"rendered":"Your religious joke for today"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"block\">A strong Baptist family decided to buy a home and make everything in the house Baptist.  They were going to make it look and feel Baptist through and through.  So when they were finished they went to a pet shop to look for a Baptist dog.  They asked the owner, &#8220;Do you have a Baptist dog?&#8221;<br \/>\nSurprised, the pet shop owner thought about it for a while and then nodded, saying, &#8220;Yes &#8230;  yes, I think we have a dog that will fit your description.&#8221; <br \/>\nSo the owner brought out the dog to the family, and the father said, &#8220;Let&#8217;s see if this is a real Baptist dog.&#8221; So the father said to the dog, &#8220;Go get a Bible.&#8221; <br \/>\nAnd the dog ran over to a table, grabbed a Bible in its mouth, ran back to the man and plopped the book at his feet. <br \/>\nImpressed, the father continued, &#8220;Let&#8217;s see if this dog knows its books of the Bible.  Turn to Psalm 23&#8221;.  <br \/>\nThe dog then opened the Bible with its snout and pawed through the pages to Psalm 23. <br \/>\nVery pleased, the father bought the dog and brought it home.  <br \/>\nThe next day, the family had visitors.  They showed their friends the Baptist dog and the things it could do. <br \/>\nFinally, the friends asked, &#8220;Well, can it do any other tricks that normal dogs do?&#8221; <br \/>\nThe Baptist father wondered and said, &#8220;Hmm, I don&#8217;t know.  I&#8217;ve never tried.&#8221; He then ordered the dog, &#8220;Heel.&#8221;<br \/>\nSuddenly the dog leaped onto the father&#8217;s lap and placed its paw on the man&#8217;s head and started to pray. <br \/>\n&#8220;Wait a minute!&#8221; exclaimed the Baptist mother, &#8220;This dog isn&#8217;t Baptist!  It&#8217;s Pentecostal!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><small>(via <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cybersaltlists.org\/\" target=\"_blank\">PearlyGates<\/a>)<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A strong Baptist family decided to buy a home and make everything in the house Baptist. They were going to make it look and feel Baptist through and through. So&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[30,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6719","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes","category-religion"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":139232,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2019\/06\/12\/and-theyll-know-we-are-christians-by-our-love-4.html","url_meta":{"origin":6719,"position":0},"title":"And They&#8217;ll Know We Are Christians by Our Love","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 12-Jun-19 8:29pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Except for those ostensibly Christian leaders who want to execute LGBTQ people. Yeesh.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Church &amp; State&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Church &amp; State","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/politics-law\/church-state"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/they-will-know-we-are-christians-by-our-love.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/they-will-know-we-are-christians-by-our-love.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/they-will-know-we-are-christians-by-our-love.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":51651,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2015\/07\/01\/satisfied-customer-shout-out-rub-a-dog-pet-services.html","url_meta":{"origin":6719,"position":1},"title":"Satisfied Customer Shout-Out: Rub-a-Dog Pet Services","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 1-Jul-15 12:53pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Lissa did a great job with our kitties while we were gone. She's definitely a keeper in our phone list, and recommended to anyone needing pet services down in our SE corner of the Denver metro area. Rub-A-Dog Pet Services LLC Specializing in canine massage, pet sitting services and dog\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;~PlusPosts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12365,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2008\/05\/19\/ecumenism.html","url_meta":{"origin":6719,"position":2},"title":"Ecumenism","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 19-May-08 10:36am","format":false,"excerpt":"So when ever I talk about the Episcopal Church, it seems like I'm dwelling on the divisions within it from controversies over gays and women and whatever. And that raises...","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Episcopal Church&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Episcopal Church","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/religion\/religion-episcopal-church"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9851,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2006\/10\/20\/tongues.html","url_meta":{"origin":6719,"position":3},"title":"Tongues","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 20-Oct-06 9:39am","format":false,"excerpt":"As in, \"Speaking in.\" Now, honestly, this is a particular religious topic I have a hard time getting my brain around. I am ... well, I'm reluctant to say \"skeptical,\"...","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Religion&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Religion","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/religion"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25038,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2012\/01\/03\/a-pet-infographic.html","url_meta":{"origin":6719,"position":4},"title":"A Pet Infographic","author":"***Dave","date":"Tue 3-Jan-12 2:15pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Some remarkable numbers on American pet ownership, the money involved -- and the animal lives lost anyway. Spay and neuter your pets, people. And unless you're a professional dog show person, please consider getting your next cat or dog at a local shelter. #ddtb","rel":"","context":"In &quot;~PlusPosts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42126,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2014\/05\/21\/dogs-and-texts.html","url_meta":{"origin":6719,"position":5},"title":"Dogs and Texts","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 21-May-14 9:44pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Heh.\ufeff If Your Dog Could Text, He Would Probably Send You Messages Like These. Every dog owner will appreciate these. And even if you don't have one they will still put you in stitches. View this post on Google+","rel":"","context":"In &quot;~PlusPosts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6719","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6719"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6719\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6719"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6719"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6719"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}