{"id":7648,"date":"2005-01-21T18:25:20","date_gmt":"2005-01-22T01:25:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/2005\/01\/21\/phi-kappa-mutant.html"},"modified":"2005-01-21T18:25:20","modified_gmt":"2005-01-22T01:25:20","slug":"phi_kappa_mutan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2005\/01\/21\/phi_kappa_mutan.html","title":{"rendered":"Phi Kappa Mutant"},"content":{"rendered":"

From this weeks Top5 Little Fivers<\/a> Comics edition:<\/p>\n

The Top 9 Ways to Tell If a Superhero\/Supervillain Is a College Student<\/em><\/strong><\/center><\/p>\n

9. He won’t perform rescues during Final Four weekend.<\/p>\n

8. He can’t get into his secret HQ because his roommate is in there with a hot date.<\/p>\n

7. All evidence points to his archenemy running a tequila bar in Cancun. Said evidence is discovered the weekend before Spring Break starts, just like last year.<\/p>\n

6. She spends all week writing lame Top5 College entries, then has to pull a desperate all-nighter to build her superweapon.<\/p>\n

5. Instead of feeding you to his mutant sharks, he’s making you write term papers.<\/p>\n

4. He pulls an all-nighter cramming for his crossover battle.<\/p>\n

3. “Avengers Assemble? Dude, it’s only 10 AM! I only have afternoon Assemblies this semester!”<\/p>\n

2. He can’t team up with you because he still has a sidekick back home.<\/p>\n

and the Number 1 Way to Tell If a Superhero\/Supervillain is a College Student… <\/em><\/p>\n

1. He picks fights with lame villains, aiming at the easy credits.<\/p>\n

Copyright 2005 by Chris White. Selected from 47 submissions from 22 contributors: Marcelo Rinesi (1, 6), Bernard Donohue (2, 5), Dave Hill (3)<\/strong>, Mark David (4), Douglas Ward (7), Marc Berard (8), Chuck Burke (9), Dave Goudsward, Moderator.<\/small><\/p>\n

Other submissions of mine that didn’t make the cut:<\/p>\n

A. “Only a paternalistic tool of the our corrupt capitalistic society like you, Captain Testosterone, would not recognize that my spandex bikini is actually a symbol of my liberation from outmoded patriarchal restrictions on womyn’s body freedom!”<\/p>\n

B. “Dude, I can’t do anything with this. I only took Antimatter Planet-Cruncher Bomb Defusing for Jocks.”<\/p>\n

C. “Tremble before the mind-bending punch of Captain Everclear!”<\/p>\n

Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week …<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From this weeks Top5 Little Fivers Comics edition: The Top 9 Ways to Tell If a Superhero\/Supervillain Is a College Student 9. He won’t perform rescues during Final Four weekend….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7648","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-media-comics","category-jokes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5740,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2004\/07\/23\/super_president.html","url_meta":{"origin":7648,"position":0},"title":"Super-President","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 23-Jul-04 1:20pm","format":false,"excerpt":"Super President was an actual cartoon, running back in 1967. 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Pym Particles would come in 12 designer colors. 8....","rel":"","context":"In "Comics & Comic Books"","block_context":{"text":"Comics & Comic Books","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/media\/media-comics"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5794,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2004\/07\/16\/complain_compla.html","url_meta":{"origin":7648,"position":5},"title":"Complain, complain, complain …","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 16-Jul-04 1:28pm","format":false,"excerpt":"From the Top5 list Comics \"Little Fiver\" for today: The Top 9 Complaints of Alfred Pennyworth That's \"Alfred, Bruce Wayne\/Batman's butler,\" to y'all. 9. No overtime for organizing sidekick funerals....","rel":"","context":"In "Comics & Comic Books"","block_context":{"text":"Comics & Comic Books","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/media\/media-comics"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7648","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7648"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7648\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7648"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7648"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7648"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}