{"id":9720,"date":"2006-05-03T09:32:24","date_gmt":"2006-05-03T16:32:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/2006\/05\/03\/im-a-capricorn-just-like-jesus.html"},"modified":"2006-05-03T09:32:24","modified_gmt":"2006-05-03T16:32:24","slug":"im_a_capricorn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2006\/05\/03\/im_a_capricorn.html","title":{"rendered":"“I’m a Capricorn, Just Like Jesus”"},"content":{"rendered":"

As far as I can tell, KeepMarriageBiblical<\/a> is a legitimate site. Which makes this lady’s personality profile on the news page<\/a> no clever satire, but, bogglingly, real .. <\/p>\n

1. Do you believe in the Saving Power of the Blood of Jesus Christ?<\/strong> Yes<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Okay, off to a good start.<\/p>\n

2. How many years have you been saved? <\/strong>13, but I say 12 years 12 months because 13 is a unlucky number<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Hmmmm. Isn’t Numerology a kind of witchcraft? Oh, well, next month you should be okay.<\/p>\n

3. What is your favorite thing about the KMB Flea Market Ministry?<\/strong> There are new experiences and challenges everyday! <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

KMB Flea Market Ministry appears to spend a lot of time defending God’s Definition of Marriage by passing out Bibles and Chick tracts at a local flea market.<\/p>\n

4. If you could wish for anything, what would it be?<\/strong> For Jesus to come back and begin the assault on the unbelievers and the lukewarm churches<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Be careful what you wish for …<\/p>\n

5. Pepsi or Coke?<\/strong> Neither, because Coke is owned by the Mormon Church and Pepsi has the Ying and Yang symbol on it and Deut. 7:26 says I am not allowed to bring it into my house<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Um … no, Coke isn’t owned by the Mormon Church<\/a>. And the Pepsi logo<\/a> has a broad white stripe in the middle of it (which once carried text), which doesn’t seem to make more than a passing resemblance to the yin-yang symbol.<\/p>\n

6. What is your favorite color?<\/strong> Dark purple<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Isn’t that a papist color?<\/p>\n

7. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?<\/strong> Pistachio<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And that’s just wrong<\/em>.<\/p>\n

8. What is your sign?<\/strong> Capricorn, just like Jesus<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Astrology? You’re quoting astrology?! You’re identifying yourself and Jesus with an astrological sign? Gads<\/a>.<\/p>\n

9. If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be?<\/strong> Donald Trump (without the eyebrows & hairdo)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

What a great role model. What a truly Christian man to aspire to be, even for a day. Unless the idea would be to divest all your wealth to give to the poor. That would be cool.<\/p>\n

10. What are your hobbies?<\/strong> Bowhunting, gun-smithing, welding, wood working, & a one year old son!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’m not sure I’d list my daughter as a hobby, but maybe it’s just cute.<\/p>\n

It’s probably unkind to poke fun at someone’s beliefs (certainly some of my own are probably liable to poking at). I just find some of the incongruities above to be … interestingly incongruous.<\/p>\n

(via J-Walk<\/a>)<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As far as I can tell, KeepMarriageBiblical is a legitimate site. Which makes this lady’s personality profile on the news page no clever satire, but, bogglingly, real .. 1. Do…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9720","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-religion"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":425,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/04\/16\/kick_ass.html","url_meta":{"origin":9720,"position":0},"title":"Kick ass","author":"***Dave","date":"Wed 16-Apr-03 9:18am","format":false,"excerpt":"So which LOTR Villain are you? 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