{"id":9934,"date":"2006-10-09T08:09:18","date_gmt":"2006-10-09T15:09:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/wp\/2006\/10\/09\/keep-our-nation-safe-from-rocks.html"},"modified":"2006-10-09T08:09:18","modified_gmt":"2006-10-09T15:09:18","slug":"keep_our_nation_safe_from","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2006\/10\/09\/keep_our_nation_safe_from.html","title":{"rendered":"Keep Our Nation Safe from Rocks!"},"content":{"rendered":"

People have always wondered when the Terrorists will actually ever be defeated. Maybe, some have said, when all they can do is throw rocks at us.<\/p>\n

Nuh-uh. Homeland Security realizes just how dangerous that can be!<\/a> Thus, a large rock that a geologist was bringing as a sample for a convention — a rock he’s carried with him to similar meetings for three years — was confiscated at an airport security checkpoint as a possible weapon.<\/p>\n

\n

To enhance my speech, I nestled one of my favorite specimens between my underwear and shirts in a carry-on bag because I never check luggage on business trips. My banded chunk of the Hebron Gneiss (pronounced “nice”) resembled a broken slice of layer cake composed of licorice and cream cheese.<\/p>\n

In retrospect, I suppose I could have put the grapefruit-sized specimen inside my sock, swung it around my head like a mace, charged the cabin and attempted to hijack the flight. This, of course, never occurred to me until the zealous inspector declared my rock a “dual-use” item.<\/p>\n

“What, pray tell, is a dual-use item?” I asked. I’m afraid I chucked just a little, causing her to glare, withhold a satisfactory answer and call her supervisor. He hefted my rock, scrutinized it for a moment, and agreed that my specimen was indeed a dual-use item, meaning a potential low-tech weapon. During those uneasy moments when I thought I would be detained, I wondered if a doctor’s stethoscope would also be declared a dual-use item, since it could be used to strangle a pilot.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Don’t give them any ideas.<\/p>\n

So, yes, evidently a large rock is a danger. Someone in TSA is planning ahead, with the realization that terrorists could board a plane, and then use large rocks to … bludgeon the passengers back to the Stone Age<\/em>. Or something.<\/p>\n

I feel safer already. If Fred Flintstone ever joins the Axis of Evil, we’ll be ready for him.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

(via the Consumerist<\/a>)<\/p>\n

<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

People have always wondered when the Terrorists will actually ever be defeated. Maybe, some have said, when all they can do is throw rocks at us. Nuh-uh. 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At TEDxPSU, he explains why we spend billions addressing news\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Homeland Security"","block_context":{"text":"Homeland Security","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/politics-law\/homeland-security"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":149,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2003\/06\/09\/keeping_their_h.html","url_meta":{"origin":9934,"position":1},"title":"Keeping their house in order","author":"***Dave","date":"Mon 9-Jun-03 6:43am","format":false,"excerpt":"Perhaps folks might be willing to cut John Ashcroft a little slack on his homeland security claims, if crap like this didn't keep happening. 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The article is full of paeans for Kelly about how he understands the risks of combat, how his family has sacrificed for war (his son was killed in Afghanistan), and about his long and distinguished military\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "~PlusPosts"","block_context":{"text":"~PlusPosts","link":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/category\/blogging\/plusposts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6072,"url":"https:\/\/hill-kleerup.org\/blog\/2004\/05\/28\/oh_boy.html","url_meta":{"origin":9934,"position":5},"title":"Oh, boy!","author":"***Dave","date":"Fri 28-May-04 5:02pm","format":false,"excerpt":"The combination of TSA budget cutbacks (way to go with that Homeland Security thang, Congress!) and anticipated summer travel spikes means that security will be short-handed at DIA. 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