Despite being in a crowd of rabid Star Wars viewers, playing a Star Wars RPG, which has just come out with a new rule book full of pictures and spoilers for Episode II, I managed to escape last night relatively unscathed in my knowledge of What Happens in the Movie.
This was, perhaps, assisted by my being the last person to the game, so all of the others were already gathered in the basement, waxing lyrical about the thing. “GO AWAY!” they chorused.
So I went upstairs to let them get it out of their system. And they did. Kind of.
Of course, the evening was full of dialog like this.
DAVE G.: Doyce, did you see page 45 of the new rules?
REY: Oh, yeah. New feat: Jedi Pastry Chef.
DOYCE: [Glancing nervously over at me.] Guys! Ixnay on the Astrypay …
JULI: That was so cool …
ME: [Warningly] Guys!
REY: Like when Obi-Wan … you know.
DOYCE: [Chuckling with recollected joy, in spite of himself.]
ME: Guys! I don’t want to hear it …
REY: Hey! It flashed up there in the third preview they released for a full quarter of a second. It’s not a spoiler!
JULI: [Chuckling] That was so cool …
DAVE G.: And you get an extra +4 on Cooking Skills if you’re a Dark Side Jedi.
RANDY: [Smiles knowingly.]
LORI: I have the Pastry Scene trading card already.
REY: All the trading cards are reprinted here in this magazine, along with the recipes.
DAVE G.: But Jedi Pastry Chef has no synergy bonus with Seduction for either Rhodians or non-humans shorter than 4 feet tall.
DOYCE: What? That doesn’t make any sense. Show me.
REY: Yeah, because when Yoda —
DOYCE: [Abruptly alarmed again, glancing over at me again.] GUYS!
JULI: That was so cool …
REY: It’s not a spoiler! See, when Amidala wakes up in bed with Mace, and he serves her breakfast pastries he’s made himself, you can see —
ME: [Sticking fingers in ears] LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-I-CAN’T-HEAR-YOU-LA-LA-LA …