Life’s little lessons

When I was taking Katherine to gymnastics class on Saturday, they were having a rather nice crafts fair at Goodson Rec Center. It was, alas, a very hectic day already, so I didn’t get to go through the whole thing. Nonetheless, picked up some Christmas goodies for family members (with Katherine’s help).

She was actually very good while there, keeping her hands off, keeping within sight, etc. At one point, though, she was a couple of booths over, and was calling, “Daddy, Daddy! You have to see this!”

I indicated to her that shouting across the room wasn’t a polite thing to do, and that I’d be through checking out from the booth I was at in just a minute.

When I got over there, I found she had fixated on a set of hand-made quilts with stuffed animals wrapped up in them. Since she has neither a shortage of quilts nor of stuffed animals, I opined that such a purchase would not be forthcoming.

The booth was manned by an older couple, and clearly Katherine had been talking up a storm with them, because when she became a bit crestfallen, the lady asked her which of the animals she liked.

She pointed at the beanie baby of a tabby cat.

“Here you go, love. You can have it.”

I told the lady that she really didn’t need to do that, but she insisted. It was very nice of her, and Katherine gave her a thank you and a hug and carried the little kitty around with her the rest of the weekend.

It was at that point that the lesson began. Because at the next booth I stopped at (to buy something), Katherine started telling the gent there all about nice lady who had given her the kitty-cat after Daddy had said that they didn’t need the quilt.

At which point I really was mortified, because I was sure that the guy would think that Katherine was telling him this, not as a cute story, but to suggest he might want to give her some of his wares. Fortunately, he seemed to miss that cue.

I suggested to Katherine that she didn’t need to tell everyone the story. But not a minute later, she was at the booth across the aisle, starting in with the lady over there. I pulled her back over, and told her very quietly that she really shouldn’t tell that story to other people there at the craft fair, because they would think that she wanted them to give her something, too.

She agreed, and then noted how pretty some of the stuff at the table was we were at, and maybe if she told them how much she liked it —

Which was, in point of fact, exactly what I was afraid they were going to think, except it turned out to be with (as innocuous as it was) with justification. So I told her, in no uncertain terms, that making that sort of hint was very impolite, and she should only tell the story to her family and friends, not to people in stores.

She seemed to understand, and didn’t repeat it again until, oh, three seconds after we arrived home.

Heh.

It’s funny. Katherine is a very charming girl (if I do say so myself), and her good humor and desire to chat with folks almost always gets a positive response from adults. But we do have to be careful that she doesn’t get the wrong idea from that — or, worse, that she gets the correct idea, and begins to assume that it’s her due, that all adults will give her stuff if she plays the cute little girl, and that she’s somehow entitled to whatever they have.

I can recall a couple of embarrassing instances from my own childhood where I made a similar mistake, and had to have it explained to me that folks being generous is always their choice, not my entitlement. I’d rather Katherine learn that lesson early, and that she learn it correctly.