Hmm, Hrm, Rrg, and other grunts I make

Communication — it’s important!

A series of emails between me and one of my direct reports, Fred:

From: Me
To: Fred

Hmm. Okay.

From: Fred
To: Me

Does “Hmm” mean you disagree or does it mean you are ok with the rationale?

Sometimes it’s hard to read your responses both in email and IM when they include prefaces such as this.  Maybe if I had a translation of each? 🙂

Hmm
Hrm
Rrg

From: Me
To: Fred

Hmmmm …

Hmm –> “I’m considering what you said.”
Hrm –> “I’m considering what you said, but I’m not thrilled about it.”*
Rrg –> “Unhappy” (see, also, “Ugh,” though “Rrg” has a bit more of a growling, tooth-grinding tone.)

So “Hmm. Okay” means, “I see your point. That’s fine.”

“Hrm. Okay” would mean, “I see your point, aren’t in full agreement, but I acquiesce for the moment.”

“Rrg. Okay” would mean, “Damn, I really wanted another answer, but if you say so …”

I’ll try to be a bit more clear.

*I’ve been using this since Rorschach, by the way. Not that I was going to explain that to Fred.

From: Fred
To: Me

Perfect, this is very useful!

From: Me
To: Suzie, Bob
Cc: Fred

I’m fwding this on to the team, just because it might be useful to you guys, too.  I don’t try to be cryptic, but clearly I’ve not always communicated as clearly as I thought I was.  That being the case, great feedback from Fred, and, hopefully, a “key” for you guys.

I should have also added:

“Huh.” –> “Well, that’s interesting, though not necessarily in a particularly pleasing way.” Less disgruntled than “Hrm.”  🙂

I offer this up, not just for its amusement value, or even stylistic  understanding of the things I write, but because it really did not occur to me that these little “noises” were causing any level of confusion.  I thought it was perfectly clear, as though I were saying them aloud (and the recipient would be able to figure it out from my tone of voice, etc.).  And nobody had ever asked me to explain before …

It’s always good to get that perspective on ourselves and our assumptions.