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The Bleat Goes On

James Lileks (the Bleat for 12 Dec.) takes on anti-violent-toy movements and DragonBall Z, all at once. One of the toys to which the director objected was “Rock ’em Sock…

James Lileks (the Bleat for 12 Dec.) takes on anti-violent-toy movements and DragonBall Z, all at once.

One of the toys to which the director objected was “Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots,” – the commercials of which were a staple of my childhood. The cry of “You knocked my block off” was as common in the playground as the plaintive lament “You sunk my battleship!” Yet none of us grew up to be mass murderers. John Walker no doubt played with neither the Robots or Battleship, and spent his childhood moaning “You negatively impacted my self-image!” and “You scuttled my Rainbow Warrior!”
Another DANGEROUS toy was a Dragonball Z action figure. Here I agree – not because the show is violent, but because it is stupid . As far as I can tell – and I’ve stumbled across the show many a time, and sat through a few episodes in rapt horror – the show consists entirely of guys levitating in the air grunting as though they’re trying to pass a Rubik’s Cube through their small intestine. Then they fire big noisy bolts of energy at each other while screaming. Cut to the characters on the ground, who are usually saying “huh?” and grunting, with drops of sweat flying off their heads. That’s it.

Read him.

Potter and Hobbits – Racists through and through

Chris Henning, in the Sydney Morning Herald opines that children’s tales such as the Harry Potter series or the Lord of the Rings, are “fundamentally racist,” and appeal to us…

Chris Henning, in the Sydney Morning Herald opines that children’s tales such as the Harry Potter series or the Lord of the Rings, are “fundamentally racist,” and appeal to us on that basis.

Yeah. Of course. It’s obvious now that he mentions it.

The appeal of the Lord of the Rings is fundamentally racist. Middle Earth is inhabited by races of creature deeply marked off from one another by language, physical appearance, and behaviour. It is almost a parody of a Hitlerian vision: orcs are ugly, disgusting, brutal, violent – without exception; elves are a beautiful, lordly, cultured elite; in between are hobbits, short, hairy, ordinary, a bit limited, but lovable and loyal and brave when they have to be.
Individuals within races don’t vary from the pattern. To know one is to know all. The races are either dangerous or they are benign. An orc – any orc – is without question an enemy. A hobbit would never side with an orc.

Okay, let’s consider this.

There’s a certain, shallow accuracy to what Henning writes. We don’t see any orcs turning coat and helping the good guys.

However, the sides are not quite as monolithic as that. There’s conflict in the Shire — with some hobbits siding with Saruman when he shows up there, and others working hand-in-glove with the Ringwraiths. The elves are divided, too — intervene or stay aloof or just high-tail it. The humans are certainly divided amongst different camps.

The “good guys” also fight between themselves. Elves and dwarves have an ancient conflict. Hobbits mistrust humans. Humans mistrust elves. Heck, in The Hobbit, the whole kit-n-kaboodle get into a big battle.

And that’s where this thesis begins to fall apart further. Tolkien’s message, in both The Hobbit (at the Battle of Five Armies) and in LotR is that we of good will must hang together, or else we shall surely hang separately. The Fellowship itself represents an unprecedented alliance of elves and dwarves (who work through their racial differences to become the fastest of friends), along with humans of different factions, and, of course, hobbits. When they work together, they succeed. When they fight amongst themselves, they fail.

Is there some “black and white” thinking in LotR? Well, yes, orcs are evil, and, as “corrupted” elves, that’s all they really can be. You can call that racist if you want, but you might as well call the fixation on Aragorn’s bloodline as being racist, too. It’s a standard element of myth, folks, and perhaps it’s an antequated version of “Us vs. Them,” with the orcs as Them/Outsiders/Enemies, but I don’t know that the LotR would have been any better, or more meaningful, had one of the orcs turned out to be a lover of flowers and elves and trees.

What about Harry?

But … but … Harry and his friends are members of an elite. They are not a race, but their powers are handed down the generations from parents to children. The skills must be inherited before they are developed with teaching at Hogwarts. The reader quickly identifies with this genetic elite, the wizards such as Harry, and despises the talentless, boorish muggles.
How we laugh when the Dursleys get into difficulties! They deserve it. They are, after all, just muggles – hapless, fat, brutal and stupid. They’re all like that. Go on, Harry, hit them again and watch them cry.

Where to begin, where to begin …?

Okay, as a parody of English boarding schools, there’s going to be a certain measure of “eliteness” about the setting. That having been said, everything in the series counters Henning’s thesis. The Dursley’s aren’t despised because they’re magic-less muggles. They’re despised because they are cheap, petty tyrants and spoiled brats, oppressing Harry because he is special.

Indeed, much of the magical behind-the-scenes society seems designed to help protect muggles. Magic is not to be used among them, for example. Muggles, and those wizards who come from “mixed” families, are looked down on — but only by the elitists like Draco Malfoy, who is clearly painted as an undesireable, hateful character.

Without attributing too much profundity to the Potter series, it seems that it’s designed more as a glorification of the Everyman than of the elite. Harry’s just a normal kid, raised amongst muggles. Ron’s family, though magical, is poor, and he has to face that challenge against the rich Malfoys of the world.

Are the wizards of Hogwarts an elite? Well, they certainly have talent and skills — some inherited, some trained. But that’s life. My mother has both talent and skill as a violinist — some native, some trained (and practiced, and practiced, and practiced …). That makes her an “elite” in some way, but a book that glorified the wonders of life at a music academy wouldn’t be accused of racism, would it?

Does holding the idea that some people have special talents in some areas that others do not make one elitist, or racist? I sure hope not.

Harry and the hobbits, with their takeaway racism, offer the same comfort for the whole world: join our tribe, be special with us, despise our subhumans.

I’d say Mr. Henning is trying to read his own political message into these books — and the books belie him at every turn.

(Via Xkot’s Discussion Board)

Truth in Advertising

Warning: If a bottle prominently notes “Tasty Lozenges” on the front, and the instructions on the back start off with “Every pleasant tasting Zinc-Ease lozenge …”, then you can be…

Warning: If a bottle prominently notes “Tasty Lozenges” on the front, and the instructions on the back start off with “Every pleasant tasting Zinc-Ease lozenge …”, then you can be pretty darned certain that “tasty” and “pleasant” will not cross your mind when sucking on one of those suckers.

(And, yes, Randy, I know, the fruity-flavored ones at Albertson’s are better, but this is what we had in the house.)

Comfort

And in another cross-reference to a blog I read, Speakeasy talks about why he leads a physical life similar (to the extent he describes it) to mine, save for the…

And in another cross-reference to a blog I read, Speakeasy talks about why he leads a physical life similar (to the extent he describes it) to mine, save for the lack of that Demon Weed in my life.

Oh sure, my mind is getting stronger daily, but this body grows fatted and more complacent by the moment. And why won’t I change it? One word: comfort. I, dear reader, am a comfort freak.

Been there, freaked that.

Them’s good readin’s.

“It will not matter how late you are.”

Crazy Tracy at “Time For Your Meds” has some words of wisdom for folks traveling this holiday season, inspired by two accidents she passed. An excerpt (read the whole thing,…

Crazy Tracy at “Time For Your Meds” has some words of wisdom for folks traveling this holiday season, inspired by two accidents she passed. An excerpt (read the whole thing, whydontcha):

Slow down. Be late. Make an entrance. Be the one everyone is waiting for. Be the guy or girl that the family’s holding dinner for. Show up with an air of mystery and intrigue, but fucking SHOW UP. It will not matter how late you are. Trust me this one time.

Words, literally, to live by.

Or, in the far simpler words many folks use but never quite think about what they mean, “Better late than never.”

Move over, Phlogiston

Science is usually criticized for one of two contradictory things. Either scientists are so blindly accepting of How Science Says Things Are that they cannot be trusted to make judgments…

Science is usually criticized for one of two contradictory things.

Either scientists are so blindly accepting of How Science Says Things Are that they cannot be trusted to make judgments about stuff like flying saucers and ESP and the ghost of Elvis.

Or else scientists are so uncertain of How Things Really Are that it just proves that any hypothesis — flying saucers, ESP, the ghost of Elvis — is as good as any other.

Now, granted, some scientists are as enamored of knowing The Truth that they do get blinded by it. But most scientists are not, I’d say, and even those verging on that accept the scientific method: hypothesize based on what you’ve proven, develop an experiment to test the hypothesis, disprove the hypothesis or move onward.

Scientists do occasionally discover stuff that was hypothesized, and even widely accepted, is not true. Now that may be happening again. Some new experiments are hinting that a hypothesized subatomic particle called the Higgs boson — which has conveniently fit into quite a bit of the picture physicists have draw about the fundamental nature of matter and energy — may not actually exist.

The point to this is not that scientists don’t really know anything. If that were so, this computer wouldn’t exist. What it does mean is that scientists don’t know everything — and that good scientists are willing to change their worldview as the evidence changes.

As Isaac Asimov once put it:

The young specialist in English Lit … lectured me severely on the fact that in every century people have thought they understood the Universe at last, and in every century they were proved to be wrong. It follows that the one thing we can say about our modern “knowledge” is that it is wrong.
… My answer to him was, “… when people thought the Earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the Earth was spherical they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the Earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the Earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together.”
— Isaac Asimov (1920-1992), in The Relativity of Wrong (1996)

(Via Xkot)

We get comments …

… and now the comments will remember who you are (if you want), thanks to Doyce and Athenia Associates. But mostly thanks to Doyce, who is, in fact, a Golden…

… and now the comments will remember who you are (if you want), thanks to Doyce and Athenia Associates.

But mostly thanks to Doyce, who is, in fact, a Golden God.

A not terribly coherent sales pitch

A friend asked me if I’d tell another friend, who’s looking at moving out of New England, about Colorado. I did, then thought, “Hey, great blog fodder …” Colorado is…

A friend asked me if I’d tell another friend, who’s looking at moving out of New England, about Colorado. I did, then thought, “Hey, great blog fodder …”

Colorado is great. Having come from California, I’m not sure I can compare it to New England, but …
… there are seasons.
… there’s snow — but, generally speaking, the roads are dry within a day.
… it’s dry. It’s not humid.
… there are very few insects in the summer, and none in the winter.
… it’s sunny (more sunny days than either Miami or San Diego).
… it’s pretty.
… if you like hiking, skiing, or out-of-doorsy stuff, this is the place. And Denver has zillions of miles of bike trails.
I can mostly speak about the Denver metro area, since that’s where I live, though I could probably comment on stuff from Ft Collins to Colorado Springs.
Good schools, up through college and post-grad. Good medical centers.
Denver’s a good city. Large enough to find whatever you want. Small enough that you can get to *know* it. It has a lively downtown.
Good sports teams, if you’re of that inclination. Except the Nuggets, of course. We don’t talk about them.
Down sides:
– No Trader Joe’s or Ikea. Some chains are reluctant to locate here because it generally requires them to build a distribution network into the area. Really there’s not another major city for several hundred miles in any direction, which is both good and bad.
– A certain measure of suburban sprawl.
– Denver International is in the grips of a United Airlines monopoly.
– State politics are generally more conservative than I like.
– It takes forever to drive anyplace outside of the area.
All in all, though, we love it, and plan on spending many, many years here.

Of course, probably the last thing I should do is paint a rosy picture of Colorado. I mean, with that suburban sprawl thing I just mentioned, we hardly want to attract more immigrants, right?

So all of you except Sarah’s friend, ignore what I just said. Colorado. Bleah. Snows all the time. Except when it’s dry as a dust-bowl. All the newcomers (anyone who’s arrived here since 1994) have Californicated the place up. Terrible. Don’t come here. Go away. Danger. Do not enter. Here be dragons. …

Comics, comics, comics …

Suicide Squad #4 (DC) – Flashback story to Sgt. Rock and how he led one of the first suicide squads immediately after WWII to recover Nazi atomic research down in…

  • Suicide Squad #4 (DC) – Flashback story to Sgt. Rock and how he led one of the first suicide squads immediately after WWII to recover Nazi atomic research down in Argentina. Fair effort from Keith Giffen, with fine “DC War Comic” art from Russ Heath. [Writing/Art – B/B-]

  • Black Panther #39 (MarvPG) – “‘Nuff Said” installment (all art, no dialog), with plenty of battle action between BP and an evil/possessed Iron Fist. BP holds his own, interestingly enough. A bit of backstory, as Ross’s condition deteriorates, and a bit of fudging on the monthly concept by having some hand-written notes by Ross help explain what the frell is going on with him. [B/B+]

  • Fray #5 of 8 (DH) – More reluctant Slayer fun in the future. Joss Whedon’s book is fresh in a familiar way. This issue feels a bit more pedestrian than most, but it’s still worth the cover price. [A-/B+]

  • Captain Marvel #25 (MarvPG) – Rick gets depressed, Cap gets beat up on by Blastaar, Blastaar and Burstaar get angry, Moondragon watches Holy Grail, the Supreme Intelligence plots, Ronan plots, too, Una-Rogg gets snarky … and things get even more depressing. One of Peter David’s occasionally somber issues. [B+/A-]

  • Liberty Meadows #24 (ISG) – The funniest stuff on four — or two — legs. Frank Cho’s strip is ending in newspapers soon, but that’s so he can focus on uninhibited action in his comic. This issue, his how-to feature, “How I Draw Brandy With Outrageous Cans.” Buy it. It’s funny. [A/A]

  • Dork Tower #15 (Dork Storm) – John Kovalic’s strip is for anyone who likes gaming or scifi or (in this case) Renn-Faires, or for anyone who knows someone who does. Also very, very funny stuff, though the Matt/Kayleigh/Gillian triangle is starting to get a wee bit painful. [A-/B+]

  • Elektra #5 (MarvPG) – Bendis’ writing is fine as always, and works well in the spy/crime/honor/conspiracy realm, but Chuck Austin’s art is marginal at best, and far too awkward for a martial arts story. Bleah. [B/D]

  • Adventures of Superman #599 (DC) – Filler story from Joe Casey and Derec Aucoin, in the relationship between Supes and a sub captain he rescued from a Kursk-like event years ago. [B+/B]

  • Fury #4 (MAX) – Ennis is beginning to hit his stride here, with Fury playing Fury as a bitter super-soldier with the occasional surprising soft spot. There’s nothing really new here if you’ve read Punisher, but it’s still good stuff. [B+/B]

  • Green Lantern #145 (DC) – Winick continues playing with GL’s power in different ways, and this time he’s pushed the envelope even further. The writing is interesting, but Winick does better personal interaction than grand action, and the latter is what this story is mostly about. [B+/B+]

  • Detective #765 (DC) – Over the past year or so, the Bat-books — at least the ones I read — have been more about the people around Bats and how they perceive him, and themselves through him, than on Bats himself. And maybe that’s how it should be. A character this dark and mysterious should be mysterious. Greg Rucka has been having fun with turning Bruce Wayne’s bodyguard, Sasha, into a Bat-sidekick, letting her be sort of an Everywoman in the Bat-world. [A-/B] This title’s backup series is one of the best so far. “Josie Mack,” as written by Judd Winick, is a Gotham detective who can “read” objects, sense their emotions, their stories. Of course, she can’t exactly tell anyone this. Good fun, but it’s not clear that it would ever stand up as its own series, nor would she be a good supporting character (since she’d likely only be drawn in as a deus ex machina. [A-/B+]

  • Impulse #81 (DC) – After the relative pathos of the past few issues, this story, “Dan Coyote: The Man of La Jolla,” is classic Impulse fun. Bart gets to play Sancho Panza to a special effects guy who thinks he’s a super-hero. Hilarity ensues. Good work from Todd Dezago, and the art by Carlo Barberi continues the Humberto Ramos tradition. [A-/B+]

  • X-Treme X-Men #8 (MarvPG) – A “‘Nuff Said” issue, which is just what Chris Claremont needs. Though things get a tad confusing along the way (given that one of the villains is busy changing everyone’s perceptions of reality, and the art of necessity flashes back and forth between those perspectives), it’s a good enough issue. Sal Larroca’s art is definitely worth watching, if for no other reason than he’s finally gotten Gambit out of that really ugly thing he used to wear under his duster. [A-/A-]

  • Barry Ween, Boy Genius vol 3, #5 of 6 (Oni) – The third, and best, by Winick’s efforts reviewed here. Though the dialog sometimes gets a bit too South Park even by Barry Ween standards, the story has a great blend of both action and emotion. Barry, Jeremy, and Sara all get run through their paces, both comedically and dramatically. If you’re not reading this book — or the previous two series (conveniently TPBed for your purchasing pleasure), you should. [A/A-]

  • Missing links

    The Pentagon has finally confirmed at least one disease scientifically linked to Gulf War service — Lou Gehrig’s disease. The study compared nearly 700,000 military personnel who served in the…

    The Pentagon has finally confirmed at least one disease scientifically linked to Gulf War service — Lou Gehrig’s disease.

    The study compared nearly 700,000 military personnel who served in the Gulf War between August 1990 and July 1991 with another 1.8 million personnel who were not deployed to the region. It found that those who were deployed were nearly twice as likely to develop amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, a fatal neurological disorder often called Lou Gehrig’s disease.
    […] The rate was not uniform among all personnel. Those who served in the Air Force were 2.7 times as likely to contract the disease, and those in the Army were twice as likely. Disease rates among Marine and Navy veterans were not statistically different from personnel not in the Gulf.

    No specific cause has been identified, but there have been claims for years that exposure in the Gulf to everything from oil field fires to nerve gas to depleted uranium rounds was responsible for reported illnesses. The Pentagon has previously dismissed other studies which have claimed to find links to other diseases and conditions, particularly since any sort of causality has been difficult to establish.

    (Via NextDraft)

    How to be a Westerner

    Among various documents being found as al Qa’eda keeps withdrawing were some notes from a class on how to pass as a Westerner, reports the Washington Post. Clothes should be…

    Among various documents being found as al Qa’eda keeps withdrawing were some notes from a class on how to pass as a Westerner, reports the Washington Post.

    Clothes should be used, not new and therefore “suspicious,” but they should match well. And under no circumstances should the agent bring along any clothing made in countries associated with Islamic terrorism.
    Deodorant is meant to be used directly on the body, the notes advise, rather than on clothing, while watches should be worn on the left wrist. Rings should be made of gold, even though Islamic fundamentalists say it violates religious law for men to wear gold. It is important to know the difference between perfume and after-shave, the notes say, and even more significant to know the difference between perfume for men and that for women. “If you will use the female perfume so you will be in big trouble.”

    (Via NextDraft)

    Hear the mighty engines roar

    When we moved into our house, we knew that Centennial Airport was just a few miles away. A small, private airport, there are still the occasional private/business/charter jets that take…

    When we moved into our house, we knew that Centennial Airport was just a few miles away. A small, private airport, there are still the occasional private/business/charter jets that take off and land there, since it’s next to the Denver Tech Center, the largest employment hub in the region.

    An ongoing legal fight has been going on between the Airport (supported by the local communities) and at least one company that wants to have regularly scheduled commercial flights into Centennial.

    I’m certainly not in favor of such flights, but I’m also grown-up enough to realize that that’s one of the possible dangers of being near an airport.

    Unfortunately, the Supreme Court has let stand an FAA ruling that would deny Centennial just under $2MM/yr in federal maintenance assistance if it doesn’t accept scheduled flights. The airport is considering its options, which could include trying to make up the money from local citizenry (which would truly be a case of folks putting their money where their ears are).

    Catch a clue, folks

    Colorado has, miracle of miracles, adopted a law to let people register to not receive telemarketing calls. Hoody-freakin’-hoo, since I despise the things, make it a point never to buy…

    Colorado has, miracle of miracles, adopted a law to let people register to not receive telemarketing calls. Hoody-freakin’-hoo, since I despise the things, make it a point never to buy anything through them, and still they interrupt my time at home (not to mention, if I screen them via caller ID, they still wipe out my WLAN due to my 2.4GHz cordless phone).

    The effort to get this law passed (it goes into effect 1 July 2002) was made by the non-profit Bighorn Center. As part of that effort, they set up a site where people could pre-register their names for the exclusion list. The Public Utilities Commission reasonably decided that those names could be automatically transferred to the official list, if the Bighorn Center took some reasonable efforts to validate them.

    Not surprisingly, AT&T and WorldCom are both petitioning the PUC to reconsider. They, along with other companies that telemarket, bitterly fought the registry in the first place.

    Any bets whether this ends up in court?

    Synopsis

    Through a comedy of errors, we discovered that our corporate license for all our anti-virus software expires on the 31st of December. We did a crash course evaluating whether we…

    Through a comedy of errors, we discovered that our corporate license for all our anti-virus software expires on the 31st of December. We did a crash course evaluating whether we wanted to continue using that particular vendor or a different one, whilst the contracts folks (a) negotiated with various vendors, and (b) negotiated with our main vendor for a 90-day extension.

    Current vendor says, “Pound sand, dude.”

    New CIO says, “No, that vendor has a very unattractive cost model. Change over to this other vendor.”

    Change server, mail, and desktop anti-virus software on about 20,000 PCs, 750 servers, 100 mail servers, in three weeks. Over the holidays. When we’ve encouraged everyone to take vacation during that period in order to help our G&A expenses.

    Hilarity — and a bit of hysteria — ensues.

    Dave steps up to bat, says, “Hey, if this is really undoable, we need to quote facts and figures, not just make pouty-faces at the CIO. Let’s do some swags, let’s point out the problems, let’s decide what can be done, the gap analysis, and the risks involved.”

    So now everyone blames Dave for this fiasco …

    Poor Dave …

    UPDATE, 12 Dec.: Sanity prevails, thanks to Dave’s noble efforts. Grateful IT populace lifts Dave onto their shoulders and sprinkles him with flower petals. Dave uses flower petals to blow his nose, and goes home early, trying to get some rest and get over the creeping crud before the CIO comes to visit tomorrow ….

    Wouldn’t it be loverly?

    The nine demurring states in the Micro$oft anti-trust settlement have put together some intriguing proposals for a settlement. Intriguing enough that they’re probably all non-starters, according to the summary in…

    The nine demurring states in the Micro$oft anti-trust settlement have put together some intriguing proposals for a settlement. Intriguing enough that they’re probably all non-starters, according to the summary in the Register.

    The salient difference between this document and the previous is that the States have made a reasonable attempt at identifying previous abuses, anticipating future ones and, step-by-step, explaining how the remedies they’re proposing would tackle them. It’s a pretty big problem, so inevitably they’ve come up with something that is wholly unpalatable to Microsoft, and that therefore could never have been achieved via a negotiated settlement.
    The DoJ document, on the other hand, lists the relatively few concessions that could be achieved to form a negotiated settlement, then makes a futile and unconvincing attempt to explain why these will solve all the problems and tame The Beast. There is at least intellectual merit in the nine States having tossed this approach and devised something with internal logic and coherence instead.
    […] Ed Black of the Computer & Communications Industry Association (CCIA) welcomed the proposal, while saying that additional remedies would also be appropriate. “Unlike the Justice Department’s capitulation to Microsoft, this is a serious effort to curb the illegal monopoly conduct of the company and restore competition to the software industry. Perhaps the most striking difference between the States’ proposed remedy and the Microsoft/DoJ settlement is that the States’ proposal was clearly drafted by prosecutors seeking to enforce the law, while the settlement was obviously crafted largely by Microsoft to provide a means of evading the law.”

    Among the tidbits are a proposal to make Internet Explorer an open source utility, and to allow other companies to license the code to M$ Office to be ported to other computing platforms than Windows. There’s also the normal dreary stuff about preventing breakware, independent secure code reviews, etc.

    Most notably, folks in the process who aren’t happy about it aren’t gagged by the settlement, either.

    It’s almost certainly a non-starter, but it’s nice to see someone in the process actually looking for some remedies for the adjudged monopolistic practices of M$.

    Now showing!

    Coming now to a workplace near you … He thought life would be EASIER after his boss left. He was WRONG … Now Dave learns that CATCH-UP is a BITCH,…

    Coming now to a workplace near you …

    He thought life would be EASIER after his boss left. He was WRONG …

    Now Dave learns that CATCH-UP is a BITCH, in Warner Bros. hilarious new screwball comedy, “IT-a-Putty-Tat!”

    THRILL as Dave tries to deal with the MAJOR CRISES dumped in his lap while his boss was visiting yesterday!

    CHILL as Dave tries to deal with the MAJOR CRISES crises that were already on his lap but were delayed a full day while his boss was visiting yesterday!

    MARVEL that Dave can stay up until midnight discussing business with his boss, and then wake up at 4:45 and still not DRIVE OFF THE HIGHWAY on his way into work!

    CHUCKLE as Dave realizes that Christmas is TWO WEEKS AWAY and neither gifts nor Christmas cards have been mailed!

    LAUGH as Dave tries to deal with a winter cold and a HEAD full of SNOT!

    You’ll be astonished! You’ll be amazed! You won’t see any more blog entries of Dave’s until tonight! If then!

    All in Warner Bros. hilarious new screwball comedy, “IT-a-Putty-Tat!”

    (This picture rated PG for Pretty Goofy.)

    Slow news day

    My boss is in town, so no rest (or blogging) for the wicked until, likely, later tonight. If then, since I was up ’til midnight last night, doing performance reviews….

    My boss is in town, so no rest (or blogging) for the wicked until, likely, later tonight. If then, since I was up ’til midnight last night, doing performance reviews. Bleah.

    … 5, 4, 3 …

    I should really be going to bed, but why not round out the day with yet more comic reviews, this time of the three most recent issues of Marvel’s “The…

    I should really be going to bed, but why not round out the day with yet more comic reviews, this time of the three most recent issues of Marvel’s “The 100 Greatest Marvels of All Time.”

    As of #5, they are doing a single issue per issue, so to speak, which is kind of cheesy, especially given this particular triplet.

    • 5) X-Men #1 (10/91) “Rubicon” – The second X-Men title debuted with Chris Claremont and Jim Lee at the helm. Claremont is certainly true to his rep, introducing eleventy-dozen characters, setting up Magneto as Numero Uno (Albeit Tortured but Well-Meaning) Bad-Guy, and juggling an overly large X-cast that has to be split up into two teams (twice). Jim Lee’s art was getting progressively more and more Image-like (he left after #11 to help found that company), and while there are some nice Byrne/A.Adams riffs, it’s still an early-90s muddle of cheesecake and cross-hatching. Incredible cover art of Magneto, though, looking every bit the Master of Magnetism. Claremont, for his part, didn’t even last as long as Lee; he got pulled from the title after #3, ending his 17-year X-reign. [Writing/Art: B/B+]
    • 4) Giant-Sized X-Men #1 (5/75) “Second Genesis” – This was the blockbuster that actually introduced the New X-Men (after the old team had been relegated to reprints and occasional guest appearances). Though the early New X-Men are usually associated with Claremont and Byrne, this first issue was a Len Wein/Dave Cockrum extravaganza. It’s fascinating seeing how a desire Marvel’s president to get an international super-hero team (with “guaranteed” global sales power) turned into the New X-Men — in the intervening decades the idea that the team was made up of a Canadian (Wolverine), Russian (Colossus), African (Storm), Japanese (Sunfire), German (Nightcrawler), Native American (Thunderbird), Irishman (Banshee), and an Anglo (Cyclops) sort of lost its punch.

      I actually have a small digression here. In 1975, my family was vacationing at the Grand Canyon, and I managed to wangle an offer to buy a comic book at the general store there from my Mom. I had some beloved Neal Adams X-Men issues, and that the X-Man title I was seeing there was “Giant-Sized” meant I was getting all the better a bargain from my wangling. Which is why I actually have (in mediocre shape) this issue in its original — in good shape, slabbed, it would probably net several hundred dollars, easy.

      Part of what I remember was that my mom, desperate for reading material, read it, too, some of it aloud. And, yes, rereading it now, the dialog is just as bloody melodramatic and unnatural-sounding as it was when Mom was reciting it. Cockrum’s art was serviceable, but never (IMO) wonderful. Overall, this is quite a mediocre comic, and it would be deservedly lost in the mists of obscurity were it not what it signalled the beginning of. It took Claremont and Byrne, at the top of their form, to take this band of misfits and send them to the top of the charts. [B-/B]

    • 3) Uncanny X-Men #137 (9/80) “The Fate of the Phoenix” – And this was it — Claremont and Byrne at the top of their form. Close, personal writing, mixed with stunning, exciting art. I was just beginning to seriously collect comics at this time, being off at college, and this made me search for all the C/B issues I’d missed. The C/B run on X-Men would set the gold standard to me for what a good comic was all about.

      Claremont’s prose is occasionally overwrought, but most of the lines can be spoken aloud without gagging. And his study of the interpersonal relations between the various characters is excellent. Byrne’s pencilled, inked by his best collaborator, Terry Austin, are superb, lacking the sloppy breeziness of his more recent work, fully expressive and vibrant.

      By now the story well-known of how Jim Shooter overrode C/B and required Jean Grey/the Phoenix to die (except she didn’t, neither of them, but that was a ploy for a later day) for her destruction of the planet of the Asparagus People. Whether it was better to kill Jean and then bring her back later than to have simply depowered her (and, to be frank, brought her powers back later) is a question of aesthetics. Frankly, it’s just fun to reread this comic, even if it’s been reprinted a dozen times. Indeed, that’s probably a good sign that it really does deserve to be #3. [A/A]

    And that’s all the comic books on the table — well, all the ones I’ve read, and the rest get to go upstairs, and I really better sign off because tomorrow’s a work day.

    And a few comics more

    Grades [writing/art] … Generations 2 #4 (of 4) (DC) – John Byrne, over the past few years, has done much better working in his own little worlds than in interfacing…

    Grades [writing/art] …

  • Generations 2 #4 (of 4) (DC) – John Byrne, over the past few years, has done much better working in his own little worlds than in interfacing with the “real” universes of Marvel and DC. His retake on Spidey’s origins were soundly lambasted (though they were no more radical than Bendis’ Ultimate Spider-man). His Marvel Forgotten Years and X-Men Forgotten Years (or whatever they were called), though, were fine efforts, and proof that the man knows as much about his Marvel trivia as, say, Mark Waid. Generations 2 was a follow-up to his earlier Generations series, which posits a DC universe in which everyone aged normally, starting with the appearance of Superman and Batman in the mid-30s. Thus we get multiple generations of their descendents, as well as others who pop up along the way. This last issue of the second series deals with the years 2008 and 2019. It’s good story-telling, and Byrne’s art is always better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. [B+/A-]

  • The Spectre #12 (DC) – J.M. DeMatteis has been doing a fascinating job of dealing with Hal Jordan, erstwhile Green Lantern, silver age hero, and then cosmic-powered villain, having been given the job of serving as God’s Wrath Personified, the Spectre. Along the way, he’s been hitting on a raft of metaphysical themes, questions of redemption, hope, evil, good, vengeance and punishment. This time out he encounters Saint Nick and a concept of Charles Dickens, not to mention Scrooge. The result is both more hopeful than the title sometimes allows, but also somehow less satisfying. Ryan Sook does a fine Mignola riff, with enough of his own personality added in to keep it from being dull. [B+/A-]

  • Powers #15 (Image) – What happens when a highly visible, highly successful — and highly profitable — super-team breaks up, acrimoniously. Think about the hassles when major rock groups disintegrate, then add super-powers and apparent murder. Walker and Pilgrim discover the mess is bigger than just the body in the bathroom. Bendis is doing great stuff here, and Oeming’s odd, cartoony style works perfectly. A “Top Ten” comic, IMO. [A/A-]

  • More more comics

    Working my way down the stack … Grades [Writing/Art] Superman #177 (DC) – I only recently got back onto the Superman bandwagon, and Jeph Loeb is a big reason why….

    Working my way down the stack … Grades [Writing/Art]

  • Superman #177 (DC) – I only recently got back onto the Superman bandwagon, and Jeph Loeb is a big reason why. Nothing earth-shattering here — an A plot of giant robots attacking each other, a B plot of Supes answering requests by e-mail, and small advances of the “What’s wrong with Pa Kent?” and “What’s up with Clark & Lois?” subplots. [B/B]

  • Ruse #2 (Crossgen) – What if Sherlock Holmes were a gentleman adventurer, Watson were a covert sorceress who was actually there to watch after him, and the world was full of subtle magic and real gargoyles on the skyscrapers? Actually, this effort by Mark Waid and Butch Guice is much better than the premise, with a “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” feel about it without the dehumanizing darkness of that series. Good stuff. [A-/A-]

  • Exiles #7 (MarvPG) – I’ve been enjoying this series of alternate-reality-hopping-X-types, largely because of Judd Winick’s writing. He’s having fun with the Marvel Universe, and the nature of the tales lets him tweak things however he likes. This is the first of the “‘Nuff Said” month December issues, wherein the stories are being told without any dialog or captions. An interesting tale of what the Exiles dream about. For those who want to see how Winick scripts, the first several pages also have the script for them in the back — something Marvel is doing with all its books this month, with the remaining script pages on-line. [A-/B+]

  • The Authority #27 (Wildstorm) – The story continues to lurch along through creative changers. Mark Millar gives Arthur Adams one of his darkest assignments I’ve ever seen. We continue to see the New Authority basically making life miserable for anyone opposing their G7 masters (including this issue’s brief homage to the Legion of Super-Heroes). We also discover how the powers that be are taking revenge on the Old Authority — and more than just their memories. Fine art, bloody writing, good show — for a while longer. [B+/A]

  • Giant Sized Mini-Marvels #1 (Marv) – Chris Giarrusso has been doing little four-panel Mini-Marvel strips (think Marvel Heroes as the Little Rascals) for years, tucked into different editorial pages of Marvel’s comics. This is a collection of all of them thus far, plus a new (and less satisfying) full-length story. Charming, in moderation. [B-/B]

  • Avengers: Celestial Quest #4 (of 8) (MarvPG) – This miniseries lets Steve Englehart continue both the Celestial Madonna storyline of decades past with the latest-greatest villainy of Thanos, with the Avengers (including a romance-seeking Vision) along for the ride. Varying between entertaining and a bit ho-hum (Mantis is, frankly, a boring character, and Thanos seems to be going through the motions), I was pleased this issue to see Starfox (Eros) finally get to do something a bit more interesting than his appearances for several years. He’s a fun, underused character, with a keen costume and a lot of possibilities. [B-/C+]

  • Uncanny X-Men #400 (Marv) – Issue 400, and all we get is a mediocre story (by Joe Casey) of yet another mutant-hating human conspiracy, drawn by six artists whose only thematic similarity is general ugliness? *Sigh*. Voted “Most Likely To Be Dropped Real Soon Now by Dave” for this month. [C+/D to C+]

  • Thor: Godstorm #3 (of 3) (Marv) – Kurt Busiek and Steve Rude finish their Lee/Kirby riff with a bang. Good, entertaining fun. Not my cuppa all the time, but the simplicity of this story in both writing and art would be a good lesson for a lot of the other writers and artists mentioned above. [B+/B]

  • War Story: Screaming Eagles (Vertigo) – Artist Dave Gibbons complements Garth Ennis tale of the closing days of the war very nicely. Garth Ennis has a rep as an iconoclast with a heart of stone, but there’s a humanity to his writing — as in Preacher — that belies that rep, and this whole series has demonstrated it. And while its not spelled out in black-and-white whether this Easy Company and its protagonist Sargent is, in fact, a particular DC war comics icon — it’s certainly nice to think they are. Waiting for the collection of these. [A-/A-]