Spotted the girl of your dreams, but just can’t work up the nerve to go ask her, cold, for a date?
Hey, for only $78,000, you can have a group of former federal agents and police officers stalk her (the service is only provided for males looking for females), and set up everything needed for you go get to know the future Mrs. Loser.
We can observe her movements from dawn to dusk. We can use a clever pretext to interview roommates and classmates from her past and colleagues and girlfriends from her present. We can send an agent to check out her relatives. We can keep an eye on her apartment and squeeze information from previous boyfriends. Then,
We’ll design a ‘COINCIDENCE’.
We can arrange for the two of you to first meet at a convention, and then — a few weeks later — end up, coincidentally, seated next to each other on a trans-Atlantic flight. Or find yourselves, coincidentally, trapped in an elevator together.
SHE will start talking to YOU.
Guaranteed! And when you start chatting, you’ll draw on data we fed you beforehand. Say that you hate pumpkins but do like The Smashing Pumpkins, whereupon she’ll excitedly exclaim that she feels precisely the same. One thing will lead to another, and…
Yee-hah. And what a beautiful way to start a relationship.
(Via The Register)