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Tech support

Les forwards on a nasty, nasty tale of the dark side of tech support, the kind of buffoonery that exists in outsourced, uncaring, we-get-paid-for-short-call-time tech support centers. Like the one…

Les forwards on a nasty, nasty tale of the dark side of tech support, the kind of buffoonery that exists in outsourced, uncaring, we-get-paid-for-short-call-time tech support centers. Like the one you call when your new computer’s not working. Though I’d call it less Orwellian than Kafkaesque.

Class officially started three hours ago, but our instructor has not yet arrived. This is not uncommon. By now many of my classmates have begun to bring cards, magazines and DVDs to pass the time. “The Matrix” is playing on someone’s laptop and has attracted a small crowd in the back of the room. The fact that we’re being paid largely to sit around and entertain ourselves has been the source of lots of jokes and smiles, but in the back of our minds we can’t help but be concerned.
Several people confess that they’ve never done more with a computer than check their e-mail. Others admit they haven’t even gotten that far. An impromptu contest develops to see exactly who knows the least. There are lots of contenders. I’m listening to them battle for the crown of incompetence as I’m dealt a new hand of cards when a frightening thought occurs to me. Our clueless bunch is now part of the technical-support staff for one of the world’s top three computer manufacturers, and in seven days we’re going to be taking your calls.

It goes downhill from there. Not for the faint of heart.

The bottom line is that you get what you incent for. If you reward folks for short call times, then they’ll produce short call times. Whether that means they’re actually solving problems will be beside the point.

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