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Bore at the Gates of Hell

Ho-hum. Okay, Constantine it might turn out to be an okay movie, even if the trailer makes it look like another cardboard-cut-out angels-and-demons-occult-war potboiler (without even a Christopher Walken to…

Ho-hum.

Okay, Constantine it might turn out to be an okay movie, even if the trailer makes it look like another cardboard-cut-out angels-and-demons-occult-war potboiler (without even a Christopher Walken to redeem it, so to speak).

But it sure doesn’t look like any John Constantine or Hellblazer I know.

What’s kept that particular comic fresh over the years is that Constantine is an irrepressible bastard with chutzpah out the wazoo and a guilty conscience to match. This Constantine, portrayed by Keanu Reeves, comes across as …

… well, as a Keanu Reeves — dull and boring, though trying to come off as grim and gritty. But that rakish smile, that spit-in-the-devil’s-eye sense of humor, is nowhere to be seen.

Which leaves us with, well, another cardboard-cut-out angels-and-demons-occult-war potboiler.

Ah, well.

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