The Waiter discusses demon-children in restaurants — and the need for moderation from everyone in the kids-in-restaurants debate.
And I don’t subscribe to the prissy “leave your kids at home” school of restaurateurship. Children are part of life and should be included in the celebrations of life. There are people who, for what ever reason, don’t like to share the same air as children. They think most public spaces should be a kid free zone. That’s nuts. We were all children once. Someone had to put up with us while we crapped in our pants. So, even if you don’t have kids, you should have some tolerance for those of other people.
I’m not talking about the kiddie policies of Uber restaurants like Per Se. If I’m shelling out $500 a person I don’t want kids in dirty diapers sitting next to me either! There are obviously places where children should not be taken.
Let’s be real. Parents have to follow some simple rules when taking children to an eatery nicer than McDonald’s. Kid haters need to loosen up a little. Half the problems with children in restaurants would be avoided if the child bound and childless put themselves in each other’s shoes. Compassion and consideration both go a long way.
But if your child turns into Satan’s howling minion you have to take them outside! There’s no excuse for letting children froth at the mouth twenty minutes. It doesn’t make the child look bad – it makes the parent look bad. Drag them outside and perform whatever exorcism your religion or pediatrician say works best. We’ll keep your food warm.
I’m pleased that we’ve been bringing Katherine to restaurants for years. While she remains a six-year-old, she’s learned the rules, she knows what we expect, and we’re able to keep her under decent-enough control to (I hope) not bother the other diners. A reminder here and there, a distraction, a veiled threat — it’s, generally speaking, enough.
And if she gets out of control, I’m more than willing to take her out of the place right then and there. My dread of bothering other people tends to bubble (in a paranoid fashion) pretty high in such circumstances.
Do yourself a favor, parents: take your kids out (and to someplace other than McDonalds). You’re going to have to sooner or later, and the sooner they learn the rules, the better they’ll be later. That having been said, be aware of something beyond what’s slopped on your plate, and if the kid’s becoming a pest, intervene — firmly, quickly, and non-disruptively (screaming at the kid to shut up is sort of missing the point). If that means leaving before you’re done eating, that’s one of
the lesser costs of being a parent.
Most restaurants, I find, welcome well-behave kids — they see enough of the alternative to appreciate them.