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The Mission

So the local IT group is trying to build a Mission Statement (which sits atop the corporate departmental mission and the corporation’s mission).  And, like a good Dilbert cartoon, they…

So the local IT group is trying to build a Mission Statement (which sits atop the corporate departmental mission and the corporation’s mission).  And, like a good Dilbert cartoon, they started with brainstorming all sorts of buzz words and are desperately trying to string all of them together with a bucket of prepositions and conjunctions.  And, to be fair, that’s how most mission statements come about, and why most of them are uniformly awful.

Actually, the Dilbert Test (a/k/a the Horselaugh Test) is a good way to approach any proposed Mission Statement:  if you can’t say it with a straight face, or without coming off sounding like a stereotype in a Dilbert cartoon, it’s probably way too buzzwordy or florid.

My advice:

  • Simple language.
  • Active verbs.
  • Straightforward conjugations and declensions — stay away from lots of “-ing”s and “-ity”s. 
  • Center on a few concepts, not everything you could possibly do.
  • Come up with a touchstone that you can judge any request or opportunity against to see if it fits.
  • Run it through a langauge checker.  If it reads as over 4th grade, simplify it further.
  • Imagine it engraved in marble.  Can’t?  Then it’s not a mission, it’s a sales brochure.

The KISS factor applies, too.  Creating a bullet mission item “by manifesting an attitude and atmosphere of positivity” or something like that isn’t going to inspire, or help, or endear you to the local operation.

‘Nuff said.

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2 thoughts on “The Mission”

  1. I use to love doing buzzwords Mission Statements because I would go for pure pointy haired boss/Cat-bert territory every time. ;P

    And 9 times out of 10 it would be the one that got selected. 😀

  2. Our wise city council renamed the downtown area from “downtown” to “uptown” on the advice of a consultant. To say the very least it hasn’t passed the horselaugh test ’round town. They’re spending $73m on the advice of the same consultant, though, so they’re probably immune to accusations of idiocy from the serfs.

    Probably smoking some really good “mission statement” when the dreamed that one up.

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