Isn’t that nice? United informs me, helpfully, that for only $1675, I can buy enough “Elite Qualifying Miles” (a bit under 12K) to qualify for United Premier Status, which will get me (I am told):
No baggage fees Access to Economy Plus® seating Priority check-in and boarding 25% redeemable mileage bonuses And so much more
“So much more”?! Wow! How can I pass up that offer?
Um … pretty easily.