Wow, this is a troubling, even depressing article about how much psychologists are beginning to learn about high school and its (mostly negative) emotional and cognitive impacts.
My own high school period had its own traumas and its own positive points. Interestingly enough, my contacts with people of that era are extremely limited — and, honestly, with very few exceptions ("Wonder whatever happened to X__?"), I'm just as happy. I've had little to no interest in any reunions.
One thing I think actually helped me a lot in high school was that I went to three of them. We moved when I was in the middle of my sophomore year, and that "fresh start" really helped me find a new crowd without the baggage of middle school junior high and the early days.
Anyway, an interesting (and foreboding) read, as our daughter navigates in that direction.
(h/t +Ginny Gibbs)
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Why You Truly Never Leave High School
New science on its corrosive, traumatizing effects.
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Fresh starts are great. Wish we could engineer one for someone who needs it!
It was mostly in retrospect that it turned out well. I was quite unhappy both times, though, for various reasons, it all ultimately worked out for the best in nay ways.
Yup, people-pleaser, here, and I can point to the exact incident that got me on that track. It's not necessarily a bad way to live, all things considered, but it's a worthy venture to understand where it comes from.
+Dave Hill That's an easy fix. Start planning your moves now.
Yes, those were largely dark times. However, I did meet you there! I still remember what you wrote in my yearbook (that I was one of the few who had the dubious honor of being whacky [sic] over the same things as you).
Then, years later, I googled you and found your blog. And now you can never be rid of me! (EG)
I too read that article. It explained a lot. My high junior high / high school years were miserable, and I have never been able to shake some of the effects completely. The article helped me understand why. I did do the reunion thing – even organized one of them – as therapy, and it helped a lot. But some of the damage — i can bury it, but it’s still lurking in there, and can come to the surface at certain triggers.
Yeah, a lot of folks I know have stories to tell (or shudder at, years later), myself as well. For example, get laughed at and mocked enough times by mean kids for social gaffes or even just for sport, and you’ll start to expect to be laughed at by anyone. (Waves hand.)
High School seems too late to me. I was the way I was in High School partly because of what happened in Jr. High. Even that was the product of what happened earlier. Yes, in High School, one is thrown into a larger population, but I'm not seeing that as a significant difference from Jr. High or even elementary school.
We don't have high-school… 😀
Andreas, you are probably much more well-adjusted for it!
What do the Danes substitute for education between the ages of 14 and 18?
Gymnasium or tradeprep school. I suspect the differences are many and small. Less focus no competition, for one.
Great article, a long read but really well done.
For me, Jr. high and Sr. High were like 6 years in a minimum security prison, I was doing my time and knew that eventually I would never have to see any of those people again.
For me the part of the article the hit home the most was the part with the mice and how if shocked when they saw X item, they would always be afraid for the rest of their lives. That is me in a public place, I always have to see where people are and rate what their level of threat to me is…always.
The other part that I thought was amusing was the popular kids at the top of the heap did not see themselves as such, but folks who were not know exactly where they were in the pecking order.
I think Andreas means "Gymnasium" in something like the German sense, which I believe is kind of like high school but a main difference is that students who attend Gymnasium have done well on a test that is used to determine what kind of education each student will receive. Those who attend Gymnasium are those who are thought to have the potential to go on to higher education. So, students at a Gymnasium would have more in common with each other than students at a US High School. That would certainly change the equation, possibly eliminating the anti-intellectual element that was a dominant element of my interactions with my fellow high-school students.
+David Newman Sort of. In effect it's quite inclusive – if people want in, they'll get in. At least into one of the forms.
It's much less specialized than High School, covers ages 16-18 (three years), we don't pick majors but can take either a math-heavy or a language-heavy direction, with some optional courses to choose from.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gymnasium_(school)#North_European_countries [in Denmark only the stx is called Gymnasium as such, the others are the trade preparation schools I was talking about]
Knowing that my friends also disliked High School intensely makes me feel less alone in that regard. Thanks guys, for sharing.
I find it interesting that each of my close high school friends has a different impression of high school. I have always assumed that we were equal in the teen social pecking order. Yet my memory or baggage from high school is very different from theirs. I wonder how much is personality and how much is family support.
@Margie – It may be that where you are with personality going in (esp. how well your personality has already been established due to other factors) might play a factor. I also think that home environment may well be a good part of it, or how much of a life you have and are engaged with outside of high school.
@DaveN – For all I rag on High School, Junior High (7-8) was, for me, worse. Kay seems to be getting through that a lot easier than I did, which gives me some hope.