On the Daughter

I will be circumspect in some ways here because the Daughter Unit actually reads my blog/stream, and I don't want to scare her off (or offend her). That said …

This was a very interesting weekend to spend with her, in the context of going to our alumni weekend.

First off, we did the official admissions office tour and lecture about +Pomona College. Granted, she's only a freshman in high school (for another few weeks), and we're not looking to rush her on higher ed, let alone twist her arm over what she needs to be when she grows up.

On the other hand, in just a year or two, this will become a much more serious discussion point, and introducing her to some concepts to think about (big vs small in overall campus size and classroom size; who teaches classes; liberal arts vs technical education; college vs university) is not a bad idea to start now.

Plus, y'know, now she knows a bit more about what our college days anecdotes are about. Even if she was not wowed by the awesomeness that is a Juanita's Burrito.

We'd certainly welcome her going to Pomona, but that's going to be her decision. Well, and a decision based on finances, to be honest (since we sort of fit in the gap between "needs-based grants" and "college as a discretionary expense"), but we'll see where we are in a few years on that.

So watching her take the tour, hear stuff, ask some questions, and start to ponder (hopefully in a contemplative sense, not a panicky sense) what she's looking for after high school was cool.

We also found time to get together for dinner with my mom, which was good in and of itself, but watching Kay interact with her in an articulate and enthusiastic and mature fashion was really neat. She is definitely moving into the adult category in so many ways that it's both daunting and exciting.

Finally, on the drive back to the grandparents' house on Friday night, we had a round-robin conversation about … stuff in the car. And, after, in the easy chairs. And Kay talked about the topics that she and her peers talk about, and what they avoid talking about because of the divisiveness that can come up, and her own thoughts about that.

And the grups in the room sort of talked about that with her, too — in a way that was both … respectful and non-aggressive and encouraging, but also challenging and forthright. And it was really cool having her in that kind of conversation as a mature (or maturing) intellect and person and individual — not a pat-on-the-head aren't-you-clever kind of way, but a "hey, here's a voice to listen to and engage with and enjoy" kind of way.

It was fun going back to the old campus, and it was net-net pleasant interacting with some old acquaintances. But watching my daughter start to step out of being just "our kid" into being a participant in adult life … was awesome.

View on Google+