So I've spent the week at my mom's house (one of the few bright sides of being unemployed is that I can take a lot of time off), helping her with some major tidying and cleaning out efforts. She knows that she won't be in this house forever — maybe no more than a few years — and the task of getting it ready to eventually move out is daunting after living here since 1978.
I had some ideas before I came out, but one thing I did was buy her a copy of Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. While the KonMari Method isn't wholly my cuppa, some basic principles she espouses are invaluable:
1. Does object X bring you joy to have? (If not, why are you keeping it? Really? Can you say that with a straight face?)
2. Do you actually want to keep object X? (Not, do you want to get rid of it — approach it in a positive manner, as selecting the things you want to keep, and letting the other things fall away.)
A lot of what we tackled was stuff that was there because it was there — books that had been picked up but never read, gifts that had been received but were tucked in bags or boxes in a closet, objects that might be useful some day but probably not. Stuff that others might find of use, but was not of any use here except to occupy cubic space. And it was all stuff that was, not-so-figuratively weighing Mom down, producing a paralysis about being able to do anything about it.
The office closet was the biggest thing, followed by smaller tasks of gift boxes in another closet and the office book shelf.
I can't show you the "before" pictures, under injunction of disinheritance, but the "after" pictures are what's amazingly cool. Mom did a hell of a job culling down what she wanted to keep in these contexts, and committing to some future activities to follow up. We took four decent-sized boxes of books down to the library today to donate to the book shop there, and another box that Mom's donating to her church. We have a half-dozen bags of hazarai going to a local charity tomorrow morning. We have a ton of paper, cardboard, etc., that will be recycled. There's a box of targeted items to give to others. I'm bringing a few things home in my carry-on, and my brother took a few things home with him.
And, yes, I cracked the whip a lot during this, but only with honesty and a spirit of being helpful. And, also, no, this wasn't my long-planned revenge for all the times Mom told me to clean my room when I was growing up. (No, really!)
All in all, it was a really successful trip, in terms of being able to help my mom here. And it was really neat being able to spend a week with her, both the going through of old stuff (e.g., boxes and envelopes full of photos) and just hanging out at night watching TV.
Not sure if I'll be able to make it back here any time soon to help with other problematic locales in the house (I hope to be otherwise employed), but she's made a great start and will, I trust, carry on.
Bravo, Mom.
[Note: Any resemblance between Dave the Hard-Hearted and Cut-Throat Tidier at His Mom's House and Dave the Inveterate Pack Rat at His Own House is purely coincidental, and should not be used for purposes of mockery, I'm looking at you, Mom!]
Ha. "And it was really neat …"
I deal with the stuff that's kinda neat but that I can't justify keeping by taking pictures of it. That way I can still look at it without having to figure out somewhere to put it.
That's some hard work you did there. Never could get Mom to give up her most precious. We moved the whole kit and caboodle to the assisted living place with her.
On the other hand, "getting organized" is her principal occupation these days. She never gets anywhere, but it's something to do.
+Brittany Constable That was an option I offered for a few things, just the offering of which sometimes settled the matter.
+Paula Moore Arguably, "getting organized" is all humanity's principal occupation. Your mom's just doing it in micro.
I remember my mom being irritated that I hadn't been available to help her clean out her parents' house earlier (I could only get out there on the last weekend before they had to vacate), because that idea hadn't occurred to her and it would have apparently saved a LOT of drama about how to dispose of some of their effects.
+Brittany Constable Having dealt with my dad's folks' property, and her folks, has given my mom a certain perspective as to not wanting to simply fob that off on her kids.
Though, honestly, there were boxes of things still that had simply been transferred down from said households without having been dealt with since, so I did sort of get to participate in that.