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I like cake more than cookies, because I like cookies more than cake

Which is to say that, if there are cookies about to be eaten … they will be. One by one. “Just one more oatmeal raisin cookie, Mr. Creosote.” Cookies are…

Which is to say that, if there are cookies about to be eaten … they will be. One by one. “Just one more oatmeal raisin cookie, Mr. Creosote.” Cookies are a small, discrete package of tasty goodness (and calories), effortlessly taken and eaten.

The “small” and “effortless” part are what gets me. Same with chips. As the old commercial had it, I can’t eat just one.

Cake, or pie, or brownies, on the other hand, take work. At a minimum I need to pull out a knife and cut a piece. I might need a fork to eat it. And if I’m going to do that, then, by God, I’m going to make it a decent-sized piece, which rings other alarm bells. So if there’s cake, or brownies, on the counter (or, even moreso, in the fridge), it’s relatively safe.

Cookies, on the other hand —

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