And while I wait for someone to come fix my e-mail system, let’s hit The Thursday Thumb-Twiddler.
1. If you were to discover that your closest friend is a heroin dealer, what would you do?
Actually, I would find it hard to believe that any of my friends were that stupid.
I’d certainly discuss it with Margie. Because the biggest question — dropping said friend like a wormy apple not being subject to debate — would be whether to drop a dime, too.
Heroin is bad stuff. We’re not talking pot here. It’s not just illegal to sell it — and thus participate in the whole violent world of heroin dealership — but the stuff is wildly destructive to those who buy it, who are addicted to it, who end up doing whatever they can in order to get more. Anyone who would willingly support that is certainly nobody I want around my family, and probably nobody I want on the streets.
It would be difficult to narc on a former friend, and by and large I don’t see many circumstances when I’d do it. But I might make an exception for something like this.
2. Having learned to a moral certainty that the world is going to end in six months, what one thing would you do for the first time?
Well, it all sort of puts it into perspective, doesn’t it? The temporal positive consequences of some actions (writing or finishing a novel, for example) and the negative consequences of others (any bad action you can think of) are mitigated by having only that long to benefit/suffer from it.
I might go out and buy a gun. If it becomes public knowledge before the end, public order might seriously break down (for the above reasons).
As to what else I might do? Well, I’d probably indulge in some of my pet vices more (though that doesn’t qualify as “first time”), such as gaming, reading, eating, etc. I might quit my job, in order to do so, and to spend more time with the family.
But going out in a wild orgy of immoral behavior is not my cuppa, if for no other reason than the “end of the world” doesn’t qualify as the “end of personal existence” in my book. And there aren’t a lot of other vices I’d really like to do, and a lot of the “like to do this before I die” stuff would be a bit too poignant (or, conversely, meaningless) if it All Ends in six months.
3. If you could create a memorial to yourself in a city park, what would it be?
A fountain. A big fountain, with lots of waterfalls and noises about it. And a large endowment to (a) keep it in good shape, and (b) keep it running.
I like fountains. Another reason to hate the drought.