GMs and Players

This week’s RPG WISH question:

What is your idea of the relationship between GM and player? Is the GM a host, an adversary, an enabler…?

Yes, yes, and yes. But …

Actually, the analogy of the GM as “host” — as in host at a dinner party — is a good one.

I expect the host to provide the setting, the substance (food and drink), the background music, the basic timing of events. Perhaps, if necessary, even the seating chart.

I expect the host will adjust the above, to a certain extent, based on the invitees — no fish for Susan, don’t put George and Tom together unless you want to see sparks fly, Ed has to leave early, Lila offered to bring dessert, etc.

I expect to be entertained by the host.

I expect the host to be a leader — not a pusher, not a dictator, but also not a passive observer. If that corner of the party seems to be lagging, the host goes over and livens things up. If a person seems to be sitting alone, the host goes over and engages in conversation. If everyone seems to be clustered all the time in the kitchen, the host scootches them out into other rooms. If someone’s glass is empty, the host should (offer to) refill it. If the hors d’oevre tray is picked clean, the host should restock it — or move everyone along to sit down for dinner.

The host should make everyone feel welcome, and encourage their participation in the events. And the host should solicit feedback, both during the event (“Everybody having a good time here? Can I get anyone anything?”) and afterwards.

By the same token, the player should be as a guest at a dinner party. Be prompt. Bring something. Talk with everyone. Be friendly and convivial. Let the host know about any food allergies or dislikes ahead of time, but don’t bitch about what gets served if you didn’t offer a warning beforehand.

If you are guest, it’s reasonable to expect to be entertained — but also to be called upon to help with said entertainment, and to participate fully (and with as much enthusiasm as possible) with the festivities. A guest should be willing to help clear the table, if the host needs help — and to back off, if the host says to. A guest should also be willing and able to suggest something for folks to do if things seem to be dragging — other than suggesting that everyone leave to catch a movie.

Don’t break the party, even if you’re having a miserable time; deal with it by not accepting the next invitation, if it comes to that.

Afterwards, the guest should talk to the host. Express appreciation. Point out what went well, and (politely, constructively, if necessary) what didn’t go as well as it might have.

Host. Guest. I like that analogy.