We want … product!

I’ve discovered something very, very odd.

Some of our heroes are missing.

When you go through the various, ubiquitous, omnipresent gift shops here at Disney World, you find an amazing array of product. Indeed, no store has everything, though some have more than others, and there’s always a chance of somewhere finding a particular Tigger shirt or Mickey mug that you haven’t yet seen.

But, sort of like the thousands of varieties of vegetables slowly being commercially selected down to just a few varieties sold in supermarkets, you are SOL if you want to find something with a figure other than Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, Pooh, Eeyore, or Tigger on it. You can find the occasional Piglet, some Tinker Bell, a scosh of Grumpy (but none of the other Dwarves), the Disney Villains in their own segregated store, and that’s, really, about it.

Oh, right now you can find a little Lilo and Stitch stuff. And some Treasure Planet stuff. But that’s all.

Robin Hood? Fuggedaboutit. Roger or Jessica Rabbit? Never heard of them. Aladdin? Doesn’t he hang with Princess Jasmine?

Well, yeah, you can maybe find some of the Princesses on different things. But it’s very limited. Mary Poppins, sure, but none of the cute little penguins. Or chimney sweeps.

Some chracters make appearances in the parades, or in shows, or even rides and attractins, but never with supporting product. Belle and the Beast. Mu-Lan. A Bug’s Life. Monsters, Inc.

Monsters, Inc.! Hell, they’re still selling the frelling DVDs and videos in the stores! But can you get a shirt with, say, Sully on it? Hell no, at least not in the parks. I’ve asked.

The only exception is a bizarre, if understandable, one. Pins. Pin collecting and trading is big business for Disney (and strongly encouraged by them). So you can find pins of everything and everyone. All of the above, and more, are available on one pin or another. But a mug, a t-shirt, a tote bag, a poster, dinnerware, coat hooks, tattoos? Nada.

It may be that some of this stuff is available on the Internet. But if it’s not, it sure would be nice if there were some sort of clause in the copyright laws that allowed folks to protect their intellectual property, but not if they refused to do anything with it. I, for one, would love to buy a Mu-Lan t-shirt (though God knows I’ve bought enough other t-shirts over the past week). I’d love to have a Jessica Rabbit coffee mug — or even one with a Monsters, Inc. logo on it. Or a picture of Belle with her nose in a book.

The rule seems to be, if you see it right after the movie comes out, grab it, because it’s likely gone for good. I understand that Disney has done that for years to keep their properties fresh, but I’m not sure the model works any more, in an era where it’s tough to keep people’s attention, and where gratification (and availability) has to be instant, to satisfy the moment’s whim, lest the purchasing dollar pass you buy.

And, dammit, I want one!